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So you think you're funny?

 
Ranch Hand
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On May 11th I will be performing my first 5 mins of Stand-Up comedy.
I'm keeping a diary of the build uphere.
Anyone got any funny ORIGINAL jokes I can use as inspiration?
 
High Plains Drifter
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Do they have to be British funny, or can they be American funny?
 
Angela Poynton
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I don't believe there's a difference!!
Just no War jokes - it's overdone already!
 
Greenhorn
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Angela - the very best of luck, I'll be rooting for you. I had a read at your diary on your site - don't let nerves get the better of you! Easy for me to say I know...
I have (according to those who know me) an atrocious sense of humour - my favourite jokes are the sort that make you groan rather than laugh...
Anyway, my faves at the moment include:
What do you call a grizzly bear with a pair of bollocks on his head?
Genital Ben
Two wells go to the doctor's - one is 2' 3" tall and the other is 8' 5" tall. The doctor says 'What can I do for you two then?' The smaller one replies 'Doctor - I'm not a tall well'.
Boom boom. :roll:
 
Angela Poynton
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Thank you Keith - I'll errr. ... keep them as emergency jokes OK?
come on guys and gals I KNOW you have a sense of humour!
Tell me a funny story it doesn't have to be a one line gag!
 
"The Hood"
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Tried yesterday and today to sign your guest book - but it just does not work .
At any rate - are you going to invite Eddie Izzard to your opening??
Best of Luck.
 
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Try here:
http://www.idler.co.uk/html/library/unfinished.htm
Its a list of unfinished jokes. With a little work you could get your audience rolling in the isles (or aiming tomatoes at your head)
Good luck!
 
Angela Poynton
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Originally posted by Cindy Glass:
Tried yesterday and today to sign your guest book - but it just does not work .
At any rate - are you going to invite Eddie Izzard to your opening??
Best of Luck.


I can see your entry Cindy!! I think it does some wierd caching thing though! - Stupid tool provided by my webhost!
Eddie Izzard Hmmm I wish
Anyway he's in New York till the end of May performing in a play "A Day in the Death of Joe Egg" on Broadway!!
Anyone here in or going to be in New York before then should go and see it, I saw it in London, it's one hell of a play!
 
Cindy Glass
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Ahhh, I did a forced reload and got it to display.
Can you put a clip of your show up on your site?
 
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last newsquiz had a few funny war jokes:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/newsquiz.shtml
 
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