If you want Java code to execute on a client machine, you have to put it in an applet.
The secret of how to be miserable is to constantly expect things are going to happen the way that they are "supposed" to happen.
You can have faith, which carries the understanding that you may be disappointed. Then there's being a willfully-blind idiot, which virtually guarantees it.
With a little knowledge, a cast iron skillet is non-stick and lasts a lifetime.