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Purple Mooseages   

We don't have 'private' messages. The closest we have is 'purple mooseages'. This is where you send a message to one other individual, and it is made available for all of the staff to see too, so they can forward it to their co-workers for a good laugh. But since you tend to write the world's most boring messages, the staff ends up rarely looking at yours. If you want something that might actually be private, you can try email.

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