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Make friends at Work Place

Meghana Meduri
Greenhorn

Joined: Mar 29, 2006
Posts: 27
Please move to the right forum if this is not the right place to post.

I have joined new company just three days ago..
Though I work in a team, people here do not talk with each other. They do not have lunch together and they do not go for breaks.
I don't want to go to their desks.
I am feeling a bit lonely and scared as everything is new to me..

How can I make friends?
Amit Basnak
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 15, 2004
Posts: 71
Originally posted by Meghana Meduri:
Please move to the right forum if this is not the right place to post.

I have joined new company just three days ago..
Though I work in a team, people here do not talk with each other. They do not have lunch together and they do not go for breaks.
I don't want to go to their desks.
I am feeling a bit lonely and scared as everything is new to me..

How can I make friends?



First of all no need to be scared, I agree that it takes time to be friendly with someone in a new company but hey you can always say Good Morning , how you doing ? when you see them or meet them . Im sure most of the ppl will reply you back. I my previous company our senior PM used to go to each team member's desk and used to greet them every morning. In big companies , there are team building workshops. Anyways my advice to you is dont wait for someone to come to your desk and say Hi !! you take the initiative and greet them every morning etc. Rest will be fine.
Regards
Amit
James Wenchen
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 26, 2006
Posts: 42
Hey.. do not be scared... it is just 3 days since you joined... like Amit said you can start of with greeting the people and you would have your official induction into the project where you would get to know more people and you can start your rapport building from there... friendship in a new company takes time, so nothing to worry.. enjoy your work and before you know you would have made quite a number of friends


Cheers, James
Shallen Kaistha
Greenhorn

Joined: Jun 27, 2005
Posts: 21
You have to take initiative and don't worry everything will fall in place.

Three days is very short period.

Thanks
Shallen
vikram saini
Greenhorn

Joined: Sep 13, 2006
Posts: 2
hey dont scared .You ,yourself have to take intiative .Dont stay introvert be extrovert.
ankur rathi
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 11, 2004
Posts: 3830
Originally posted by Meghana Meduri:
Please move to the right forum if this is not the right place to post.

I have joined new company just three days ago..
Though I work in a team, people here do not talk with each other. They do not have lunch together and they do not go for breaks.
I don't want to go to their desks.
I am feeling a bit lonely and scared as everything is new to me..

How can I make friends?


If you are in Hyderabad then I can be your friend. If not, then also...
Chetan Parekh
Ranch Hand

Joined: Sep 16, 2004
Posts: 3636
Meghana Meduri, not just your but they aslo need friends at workplace. Let wait for a while, you will add people in your friendlist soon.


My blood is tested +ve for Java.
Meghana Meduri
Greenhorn

Joined: Mar 29, 2006
Posts: 27
Thanks a lot.
It is really nice to see all your replys.
Yes, I do greet them when I see them or give them a smile.
Today is better than yesterday.

Hyderabad is my home city. I really miss it.

Thanks a lot for encouraging me..
Ganpi Srinivasan
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 17, 2005
Posts: 160
Probably its me but I have always felt workplace is not the environment where you want to try making friends. I have had bad experiences when your "friends" try to take undue advantage and try to offload work onto you. Also it might cloud your judgement when you want to be forceful and get things done.

I think there should be a distinction between professional relationship and personal relationship at work.

Once again, it might just be me!
Jignesh Patel
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 03, 2001
Posts: 626

Ganpi,

You are right, there is always difference between professional relationship and personal. And though I never have any bad experience like you, I never made any professional from my group as close friend.

One more thing I have observe you have lot more negation for everything espeically for India's growth.
Ganpi Srinivasan
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 17, 2005
Posts: 160
Originally posted by Jignesh Patel:
Ganpi,

You are right, there is always difference between professional relationship and personal. And though I never have any bad experience like you, I never made any professional from my group as close friend.

One more thing I have observe you have lot more negation for everything espeically for India's growth.


Jignesh,
Well - I do not know how you arrived at the deduction that I have a negative attitude towards "everything"! Though I do not mind (or should I say care!?) being judged, especially by strangers, I think I have not stated anything negative towards India, its growth or, for that matter, about anyone.

I would sincerely appreciate if you could substantiate what you try to convey. If there was something in my posts, that offended you, I would be glad to clarify the same - preferably offline since I dont want to hijack any thread for that.

Cheers
Ganpi
Jignesh Patel
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 03, 2001
Posts: 626

Personally, I do not think it is appropriate (right now) to call any city in India as the next Silicon Valley. The term originally referred to San Fransisco Bay Area's large number of silicon chip innovators and manufacturers - the key word being innovation. Up until now all major cities in India have been keen in capturing the market in IT Services and IT Back-Office processing. I do not see an Oracle / eBay / MS / Sun Microsystems type of company propping up with a new product in the market. More focus needs to be given to entrepreuners and innovators rather than corporations trying to replicate the success of services industry.

Ganpi See Above, look at all your posting, it always trying to offend about the Indian growth.
Bo Yyempeti
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 22, 2006
Posts: 111
Jignesh,

Where exactly in that quote did you find Ganpi's attitude to be negative ??
Kj Reddy
Ranch Hand

Joined: Sep 20, 2003
Posts: 1704
Looks like the topic is deviating from orginal subject
Jignesh Patel
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 03, 2001
Posts: 626

Bo,
Even after seeing the postings you can understand then there is nothing I can do.

Anyways, I am taking out my self from this topic. Ganpi I read your mail and I just tried to clarify.
Ganpi Srinivasan
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 17, 2005
Posts: 160
Originally posted by Jignesh Patel:
Bo,
Even after seeing the postings you can understand then there is nothing I can do.


First of all, Jignesh - you did not "substantiate" your analysis about my attitude. Picking up a post of mine in a separate thread about an unrelated issue and quoting that to repeat your point does not help your case. Bo tried to tell you to read my full quote and re-consider which part you found offensive, because any reasonable, objective person would find no such thing. I was simply expressing my opinion and I was in no way taking any cheap-shots.

Instead of jumping the gun with a prejudiced opinion, I sincerely request you to refrain from your "in-the-face" type of remarks. I honestly find it amusing that I am trying to justify myself to someone who judges me, inspite of not knowing anything about me - with that said I rest my case. Once again - sorry for hijacking the thread; I felt compelled to respond and I am sure I would not post any more response on this topic - because I have said all that needs to be said, from my end.

Cheers!
Paul Clapham
Bartender

Joined: Oct 14, 2005
Posts: 18113
    
    8

Originally posted by KJ Reddy:
Looks like the topic is deviating from orginal subject
Yes, it is. And dragging in statements from another post on an unrelated topic (that's you, Jignesh) is not acceptable here, especially when it's done specifically to take a poke at another rancher. And if I'm not mistaken, that other post was closed just because of behaviour like this. Let's keep it polite around here, please.
Jignesh Patel
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 03, 2001
Posts: 626

Sorry Paul and Ganpi too.

I think I have diverted of my originial nature and style. I accept it is not my business to comment about Ganpi.

I am out of this post, you guys please carry on.

And Yup to Every Body, India is growing like anything as far as software concerns, and Bangalore is the Second Sillicon valley, no doubt about. There are more software jobs in India then to any other country.
[ September 15, 2006: Message edited by: Jignesh Patel ]
Edisandro Bessa
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 19, 2006
Posts: 584
Hey guys,

Just in addition to what Paul said. Never forget that JavaRanch is also a FRIENDLY place for java greenhorns.

Let's keep it FRIENDLY.





"If someone asks you to do something you don't know how to, don't tell I don't know, tell I can learn instead." - Myself
Zakir Hossain
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 14, 2006
Posts: 38
Hi Meghna

Friendship someplace needs your initiative, go to people and meet them whether they like you or not but 90% chances are that they will like you if you go to them. You are a new kid in their block (I mean the company) and they are restraining to be your friend or want to talk to you other than work related. Go to them, greet them, bring chocolate for them. They will like your way of friendship.
I am right now in Saudi Arabia, where Saudi's dosent mix with expats much but I have more friends in just 2 years here than in India and most of them are Saudis and American. I feel like a home here.
Be your natural self and bang bang.

I can be one of your friend...if you care.
Best of Luck

Cheers
Zakir


"The Choices We Make, Dictates Our Life To Lead".
Jason Cox
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 21, 2004
Posts: 287
I've been trying to put my finger on what is bugging me about this post.

I have met very few friends through work. I have respected co-workers and people I would hang out with, but not very many I would call a "friend".

I don't go to work to make friends. Granted, I'm a consultant and my longest contract has been 15 months. Even so, I don't show up on site to be everyone's buddy. I'm there for a job and I'm there to get it done.

Socialization and people skills are extremely important to my job. It's not that I'm advocating being unfriendly, quite the reverse. Still, at the end of the day if I have to plow through someone else because they're standing in the way of progress I am going to. Your feelings are not my problem. I've had to step on toes, override teammates, and have even opening fought with a project manager before. I don't enjoy these things and I think seeking confrontation is bad, but at the same time confrontation when necessary becomes more difficult if you are set on being friendly.

If you're new to a team you need to introduce yourself and you need to take every opportunity to get to know your teammates. I don't think the original intention of this thread was "I want to make everyone my friend" but I wouldn't even worry about people liking you. Get to know them and let them see what you bring to the team. My work speaks for me, and that is usually good enough. I'd rather be respected than liked when it comes to the workplace.
 
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