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PM and Attractive girl in team member

guptha sanju
Greenhorn

Joined: Dec 19, 2006
Posts: 20
My team has an very attractive girl with zero knowledge. Whenever she does something wrong she points her finger on others but very good in taking credit of someother works.she always want to prove she is the best very cunning, She acts like she is very innocent and lot of faith in god, and she wants everybody to think she is really good but she is one of the shameless person I have met in my life.
we all known her attitude expect our PM(he known might be pretending as if he don't known anything).How to handle this kind of people in a team .If my PM is also very supportive to her in that case how to handle ?is it worth to stay in that team?
Note:
She got the maximam hike in our team
She was send as on-site Coordinator(PM also joined her)

I am listing some of her professional skills only few .

1.When we were asked to give demo on assigned topic (at the beginning of the project) I planned to prepare ppt but she told, not needed, useless, just read understand and tell what you understood later she had come up with beautiful PPT(which her BF has done it for her since she doesn�t known to use power point, notepad and excel still works on .net)

2.Never use to come to my cabin whenever she had doubts even though seated opposite to me. She Calls me and clarify it. Or whenever PM is not around call me to her cabin clarify the doubt.

3.If anyone of team member ask her any doubt and if she doesn�t known the answer she never told them that she don�t know the answer, come and ask me and go and tell the same thing to them when they asked how she found out the solution she was telling�I do lot of R&D you too do the same�

4. Even though her work involves less complexibility, tell everyone that her work involves lot of problem.

5.If she has done some mistake she never tell she did it instead she tell�I did exactly what xyz told�

6. When one of my team member was selected for onsite-coordinator she told to all team members that in weekly meeting she will tell �instead of sending one person from here you can ask one person to come from there so that entire team will get the training �but after 2 days when she was said she is also flying she did not utter a word in the meeting!! What a bitch.

What type of attitude is this? Why my PM is pretending to be unaware of all this.

This was the first time i met a person like that girl and my PM(who always enjoy watching her i have noticed many time)yeah of course in the office environment.

{Added from the below post -11-06-2007}

I would have forgotten everything but I came to known, the girl have told everyone in the company that �in spite of less experience than sanuju she has been chosen as onsite coordinator because she is more intelligent and expert on domain�what a bitch�����. (Even my PM told the same thing to me).which is not true everyone in our team know this .
Mentally it has affected me very badly in future even though I leave the company I will never never never never never never never never never never never never never Forgive �����.. that bastard and a bitch
Fact is: My PM would not have got better opportunity to spend time with her so he chosen her.
Lot of things to tell but,
anyway guys may be this will be my last post since I think more I pen more I become aggressive may be I am taking things too personally if I take it in that way things will be different which I really don�t want to happen .
Even though it will be my last post I will be reading all your Replies





I WILL NEVER FORGET AND FORGIVE THAT GIRL AND MY PM

[ June 07, 2007: Message edited by: guptha sanju ]

[ June 10, 2007: Message edited by: guptha sanju ]
[ June 10, 2007: Message edited by: guptha sanju ]
Amit Batra
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 04, 2006
Posts: 361
If you cant beat them join them. Have you tried asking her to stop it? Also how hot is she?
Rahul Bhattacharjee
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 29, 2005
Posts: 2308
Its same with every place I believe.
Try to live with it.Just concentrate on your work.


Rahul Bhattacharjee
LinkedIn - Blog
Abhijit Kumar
Ranch Hand

Joined: Sep 28, 2005
Posts: 225
Originally posted by guptha sanju:
My team has an very attractive girl with zero knowledge .whenever she does something wrong she points her finger on others but very good in taking credit of someother works.she always want to prove she is the best very cunning, we all known her attitude expect our PM(he known might be pretending as if he don't known anything).How to handle this kind of people in a team .If my PM is also very supportive to her in that case how to handle ?is it worth to stay in that team?
Note:
She got the maximam hike in our team
She was send as on-site Coordinator(PM also joined her)


'Convey' this to somebody higher than the PM.
Rahul Bhattacharjee
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 29, 2005
Posts: 2308
Originally posted by Abhijit Kumar:

'Convey' this to somebody higher than the PM.


Not a bad idea , you can use your anonymous e-mail id for this.
Ramesh Choudhary
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 10, 2005
Posts: 200
It's the same in every other industrial setup in every other country. Business is essentially talk, convince and grab. Ask for a project change..or organize a meeting with every other team member and try some sort of collective protest. Refuse co-operating with her, keep her in dark regarding the project. Here you have two preys 1) the 'attractive' girl 2)your 'PM', when there is such situation project goes for a toss and you PM would be smashed by his higher up's.
Srikanth Basa
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jun 06, 2005
Posts: 241
but very good in taking credit of someother works

I would say the girl is absolutely talented

Generally most of us focus on having excellent technical skills, completing the work within the timelines, providing help to other team members. Well, you did all these but who would know unless you make it known to your manager ?

So, at the end of the day, the main factor that outweighs all the above mentioned factors is "Self-Marketing".

Make your manager aware of your efforts, critical issues that you solved or additional responsibilities that you have taken up. Do that on a weekly/monthly basis so that your manager knows how how you have been doing. That should help.

Life is all about learnings so keep on learning with experiences
Arjunkumar Shastry
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 28, 2005
Posts: 986
1)Using Java Mail API and free JBoss mail server, write a program to send a mail to your PM and that 'hot' girl.
2)Copy this program and JBoss on one CD.
2)Go to cyber cafe,which is far away from your house.
3)Make sure Java in installed on that machine.
4)Mail body message should be:
"This is CEO of your company.I came to know about your behavoir and your partial treatment given to <girl name>.This is very unethical and I can sack you for this action.Consider this as a last warning."
5)Run the program.


Namma Suvarna Karnataka
Theodore Casser
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 14, 2001
Posts: 1902

Originally posted by Arjunkumar Shastry:
4)Mail body message should be:
"This is CEO of your company.I came to know about your behavoir and your partial treatment given to <girl name>.This is very unethical and I can sack you for this action.Consider this as a last warning."


Setting aside, of course, that this is less-than-vaguely unethical, and may well be against an employment agreement to boot. I know that I wouldn't tolerate this on my team, and then the person sending this would have a larger problem than not liking the 'partial treatment' going on (namely, the need to look for another job).

I do think the easier solution is to go through the chain of command - find someone higher than the PM and mention the concern that there's something going on that's not appropriate for a business environment. Make sure that the concern is documented, and if there isn't to be any satisfaction had at that level, proceed higher.


Theodore Jonathan Casser
SCJP/SCSNI/SCBCD/SCWCD/SCDJWS/SCMAD/SCEA/MCTS/MCPD... and so many more letters than you can shake a stick at!
David O'Meara
Rancher

Joined: Mar 06, 2001
Posts: 13459

1) Don't do anything unethical/illegal. It isn't worth getting fired over.
2) Get over it.

Seriously, it is something that could turn out badly for you, and you have nothing to gain. Personally it probably doesn't affect you as much as you think it does, so there is little lost. She isn't going to be able to fake it for long and if true, the behaviour will be ultimately hurt her in the long run. Don't worry about the PM, even the president of the World Bank couldn't get away with behaving like that.
Rambo Prasad
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 23, 2006
Posts: 628
She was send as on-site Coordinator(PM also joined her)

Now do you understand why he is partial...You will find similar people everywhere...Unless she does any harm to you dont worry too much about it....


Helping hands are much better than the praying lips
Ramesh Choudhary
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 10, 2005
Posts: 200

2) Get over it


That's impossible, David. Fawning attitude for garnering benefits has been here for thousands of years and will continue as far as we have these hierarchial insitutions. But grabbing credit for other's work is absolutely unethical. It looks as if the above lady is bent upon it. Atleast I would find it hard to get over it.
Roseanne Zhang
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 14, 2000
Posts: 1953
1) This is human nature, it happens everywhere on earth all the time.
2) There is no such thing called impartial, only more or less partial.
3) Get over it, or quit.
4) There is no guarantee that such thing will not happen in your future workspace.

Have you ever heard a story about an experiment on kindergardeners?

They sent two teachers there, one PHD, smart and knowing how to teach minors but less attractive, the other, just opposite.

Of course, you know the voting result by the kindergardeners for the question, "who is the smarter teacher?"

Roseanne Zhang
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 14, 2000
Posts: 1953
The old Serenity Prayer may help you a little bit:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.



http://www.cptryon.org/prayer/special/serenity.html
Roseanne Zhang
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 14, 2000
Posts: 1953
Attention, the question for the kindergardeners was NOT "who is the prettier teacher?"!!!

Go over it!!!

Thanks!
vjy chin
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 17, 2005
Posts: 279
I know this would be really bad as I had a similar experience. My project manager accepts anything the girl says and made a complaint to my program manager. But later I proved that she was wrong and the error was not at all in my module, in fact I have not worked in that itself. Then the project manager said its ok, leave it, but didn't talk back to the program manager who still thought that I was not good until I talked to him on the day of resigning the job.

If you are the person affected, even after you prove/disprove the claims, you really lose a bit of respect for the managers. It is also very hard to get over it, but there is no other way out. This is how it will be. So if you are affected, better move to a different company or to a different group.

Also taking it to the higher officials would not always work. Suppose the manager is working in the company for 5 years and you worked for only 2 years, who would they believe even if its genuine. In most cases they wont believe the employee, but may be in some cases they might think about it.

Just my thoughts.
Deepak Bala
Bartender

Joined: Feb 24, 2006
Posts: 6661
    
    5

Don't worry about the PM, even the president of the World Bank couldn't get away with behaving like that.


For a minute there I thought I would see the name Bill. hehe

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.


That is so beautiful. I hope you read that guptha.

I know that such things are pretty annoying. I have people in my organization that get appraised maximum and all they do is attend phone calls all day. Some of my juniors earn more than I do. It hurts but money is not everything. I enjoy what I do everyday. If I throw away all the politics that surround me and concentrate on my job alone, hey, you know what, its pretty cool. You cannot change ;your appraisals; people who appraise others like crazy for no reason; people who appraise based on gender; your managers attitude or his perception of others and you, among many other things.

At the end of the day you can either choose to respect these people that surround you because they took care of your needs and helped you, or you can choose to move away from your project/company so that you do not have to work with these people any more. Its as simple as that. What is not simple is getting over it, and that takes time. It might hurt you for a week or so and then it floats away. Dont think about it.


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guptha sanju
Greenhorn

Joined: Dec 19, 2006
Posts: 20
Thanks for all the response!
I am glad that I am out of this project, but still if I think, it hurts me badly I want to tell every one about that girl and my PM .My PM has lost respect its not only me but team members don�t respect him anymore (which he is unaware of!). Regarding that cunning creature (girl) I never respected her from the day one. I have spoken to my program manager he is really a very dignified person he shifted me to other project but I have not spoken to him about the girl and my PM .I had made a document on her professional and personal life with proof. She acts like she is very innocent and lot of faith in god, and she wants everybody to think she is really good but she is one of the shameless person I have met in my life.
But how to tell this to everyone .I am thinking the day I resign from this company I will attach this document to everyone but I don�t have any intention to leave this company for 2 more years since it is one of the reputed company and management is too good. So how to tell???
David O'Meara
Rancher

Joined: Mar 06, 2001
Posts: 13459

I repeat: do not.

Do not comment on the behaviour of these workers.
Do not undermine their credibility.
Do not engage in a public or covert smear campaign.
Do not obsess on this issue.
Deepak Bala
Bartender

Joined: Feb 24, 2006
Posts: 6661
    
    5

Originally posted by David O'Meara:
I repeat: do not.

Do not comment on the behaviour of these workers.
Do not undermine their credibility.
Do not engage in a public or covert smear campaign.
Do not obsess on this issue.


I agree totally. Let go of it. If that document gets into the wrong hands it could make things worse for you. Delete it. Who knows, may be people could file a defamation suit on you because of what you are trying to do. Dont do it.
Vikrant Pandit
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 27, 2006
Posts: 245
Originally posted by guptha sanju:

Regarding that cunning creature (girl) I never respected her from the day one.

I had made a document on her professional and personal life with proof.


Hmmm.....what made you hate her from the day one ? I hope there was some basis on which you started hating her from day 1 . I also hope that this hatred is not clouding your judgement .

We should never intrude on personal life of our co-workers. This would make you a bigger offender than her

Hope you will think and act rationally


Vikrant Pandit
guptha sanju
Greenhorn

Joined: Dec 19, 2006
Posts: 20
I know about her personal life from past one year ! i am not the person who interfere in one's personal life ,i am talking about her professional skills.
Raghavan Muthu
Ranch Hand

Joined: Apr 20, 2006
Posts: 3344

Hi Guptha,

As per the inferences of the previous replies to this thread, i would like to add a few points...

I also had some similar experiences but not with the partiality based on gender but somehow my TL was not inclined. As it was in my initial period of career, i could neither react nor oppose. But still i do take the +ve points what i grasped out of the so-called insults or irritations from him. I feel that will help us in the long run rather than just thinking of useless, unethical aspects of the people who does not deserve of being discussed even!

  • There is no clean, ideal, pleasant place to work unless you tend to mend the bends - I mean it. It purely depends on the individual how well he fits and gets accustomed.
  • Just think before you ink - to what extent it will make sense and have an effect. Anyhow you are out of that company. Even if you gonna say, how much impact it would create? As John Meyers said, there are chances of bad impression created on you.
  • As Rahul said, i would say, just forget about all these stuff and concentrate on your work. But also as Srikanth Basavaraju said, if there is no Self-Marketing (atleast for what you had worked!), there are definitely people waiting to take the credits out of others work. Not everyone but there are a few definitely wherever you go.
  • Why dont you just forget about this incident and think of spending your time on some constructive actions as you are not assured of people getting reformed after hearing from you?


  • Hope my statements make some sense to you.
    Its upto you to decide what to do.
    [ June 06, 2007: Message edited by: Raghavan Muthu ]

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    guptha sanju
    Greenhorn

    Joined: Dec 19, 2006
    Posts: 20
    Thanks Raghavan!

    I am listing some of her professional skills only few .

    1.When we were asked to give demo on assigned topic (at the beginning of the project) I planned to prepare ppt but she told, not needed, useless, just read understand and tell what you understood later she had come up with beautiful PPT(which her BF has done it for her since she doesn�t known to use power point, notepad and excel still works on .net)

    2.Never use to come to my cabin whenever she had doubts even though seated opposite to me. She Calls me and clarify it. Or whenever PM is not around call me to her cabin clarify the doubt.

    3.If anyone of team member ask her any doubt and if she doesn�t known the answer she never told them that she don�t know the answer, come and ask me and go and tell the same thing to them when they asked how she found out the solution she was telling�I do lot of R&D you too do the same�

    4. Even though her work involves less complexibility, tell everyone that her work involves lot of problem.

    5.If she has done some mistake she never tell she did it instead she tell�I did exactly what xyz told�

    what type of attitude is this? Why my PM is pretending to be unaware of all this.
    Raghavan Muthu
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Apr 20, 2006
    Posts: 3344

    Hi Guptha,

    I understand and definitely get your feelings. But only one question is that how are you assured that she will understand your concerns and correct herself? I dont think and nobody can ensure unless the particular individual realizes on his/her own. Aint I?

    Then whats the point in thinking about her attitude? As we are aware, this world is full of smart people (whatsoever aspects they consider themselves are smart) and we also try to compete with them. But with a bit of compromise!!

    Not sure of your PM is really being aware of the attitude and nature of that girl, they are happy but you are not! Am i correct? Thats the sole suggestion i would like to bring to your notice. As of now, you can just forget it and proceed with some other good work as if you had never met such a character!

    otherwise, if you really think you should let her know of what she is doing, i would say, just have a try! But prepare yourself for catching the excepions as well

    Does that make sense?
    [ June 06, 2007: Message edited by: Raghavan Muthu ]
    B.Sathish
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Aug 18, 2005
    Posts: 372
    If she's really hot, marry her, that should solve all your problems
    Rahul Bhattacharjee
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Nov 29, 2005
    Posts: 2308
    Originally posted by B.Sathish:
    If she's really hot, marry her, that should solve all your problems


    Thats the best idea and then you will start loving every aspect of her , which currently you are hating.
    Raghavan Muthu
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Apr 20, 2006
    Posts: 3344

    Yes i do remember and share one of the instances when i had during a chat with my friend..

    When the chat was going around the problems or issues what she faces and i was also reciprocating and telling that "Yes, everyone has some problems in their day-to-day life". Just to add values, i told some issues whatever i face.. for which she replied saying, "If you feel like having many issues, just get married! Then all the other problems will become smaller!"

    Here its a bit more like marrying the person whom you think is a trouble to you! - Reverse Analogy.. May work!
    Rambo Prasad
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Feb 23, 2006
    Posts: 628
    I am listing some of her professional skills only few .

    1.When we were asked to give demo on assigned topic (at the beginning of the project) I planned to prepare ppt but she told, not needed, useless, just read understand and tell what you understood later she had come up with beautiful PPT(which her BF has done it for her since she doesn�t known to use power point, notepad and excel still works on .net)

    What made you listen to her...?


    2.Never use to come to my cabin whenever she had doubts even though seated opposite to me. She Calls me and clarify it. Or whenever PM is not around call me to her cabin clarify the doubt.

    Keep saying you are busy and say her to come to your desk

    3.If anyone of team member ask her any doubt and if she doesn�t known the answer she never told them that she don�t know the answer, come and ask me and go and tell the same thing to them when they asked how she found out the solution she was telling�I do lot of R&D you too do the same�

    Say her something wrong
    vjy chin
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Feb 17, 2005
    Posts: 279
    Guptha,

    Don't do anything unless you are directly affected by it. If not other people (higher management) might think you are not a good team person and also think you are always complaining. I understand your frustration, but think of something else. Just deal with her professionally.

    Also do what you think is right, best suggestion is get into another project, shift cubes, whichever works for you.

    In the end these are small things and don't think about these too much. Concentrate on your work and enjoy it.
    Roseanne Zhang
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Nov 14, 2000
    Posts: 1953
    Originally posted by guptha sanju:
    Thanks Raghavan!

    I am listing some of her professional skills only few .

    1.When we were asked to give demo on assigned topic (at the beginning of the project) I planned to prepare ppt but she told, not needed, useless, just read understand and tell what you understood later she had come up with beautiful PPT(which her BF has done it for her since she doesn�t known to use power point, notepad and excel still works on .net)

    2.Never use to come to my cabin whenever she had doubts even though seated opposite to me. She Calls me and clarify it. Or whenever PM is not around call me to her cabin clarify the doubt.

    3.If anyone of team member ask her any doubt and if she doesn�t known the answer she never told them that she don�t know the answer, come and ask me and go and tell the same thing to them when they asked how she found out the solution she was telling�I do lot of R&D you too do the same�

    4. Even though her work involves less complexibility, tell everyone that her work involves lot of problem.

    5.If she has done some mistake she never tell she did it instead she tell�I did exactly what xyz told�

    what type of attitude is this? Why my PM is pretending to be unaware of all this.


    Haha, this has nothing to do with her gender, there are very good chances to encounter such people in workspaces.

    When you don't know, you are in the dark, and you are or will be a loser for at least a while. eg. your ppt event.

    However, when you already know who he/she is, you should also know how to deal with them in a clever way. If you don't, then it is your problem now.

    Use your brain, be smart, hatred will do no good for you, it makes you lose more.
    Roseanne Zhang
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Nov 14, 2000
    Posts: 1953
    Now, your enemy is not he/she, but your hatred.

    When you can smile on his/her behavior, then you will become a winner!

    Trust me, try to smile!
    Roseanne Zhang
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Nov 14, 2000
    Posts: 1953
    For example

    2.Never use to come to my cabin whenever she had doubts even though seated opposite to me. She Calls me and clarify it. Or whenever PM is not around call me to her cabin clarify the doubt.

    3.If anyone of team member ask her any doubt and if she doesn�t known the answer she never told them that she don�t know the answer, come and ask me and go and tell the same thing to them when they asked how she found out the solution she was telling�I do lot of R&D you too do the same�

    5.If she has done some mistake she never tell she did it instead she tell�I did exactly what xyz told�


    Sample answers:

    All should be said very nicely and with a big smile:

    "I am busy right now, can you come to my cubic 10 minutes later, I will explain it to you."

    "I am not clear with your questions, can you phrase them in an email, I email your back with better and clearer answer." When you email back, cc to your PM occasionally because its "importance"!

    "I am not very clear with your questions, to avoid the mistake what xyz (or I) made last time, can you phrase them in an email? In this way, I can give you answer to the best of my knowledge." When you email back, cc to your PM occasionally because its "importance" or "confirmation"!

    Smile, smile, smile and

    guptha sanju
    Greenhorn

    Joined: Dec 19, 2006
    Posts: 20
    Let me thank everyone for spending time to read and reply for my post!
    If she's really hot, marry her, that should solve all your problems
    even she is the only female creature in the universe i will never marry her instead prefer to become a saint.she ia damn cunning.

    This was the first time i met a person like that girl and my PM(who always enjoy watching her i have noticed many time)yeah ofcourse in the office environment !i was so hurt i some time tought of changing the field.anyway thank you guys.
    Ramna Reddy
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Aug 06, 2006
    Posts: 96
    Sample answers:

    All should be said very nicely and with a big smile:

    "I am busy right now, can you come to my cubic 10 minutes later, I will explain it to you."

    "I am not clear with your questions, can you phrase them in an email, I email your back with better and clearer answer." When you email back, cc to your PM occasionally because its "importance"!

    "I am not very clear with your questions, to avoid the mistake what xyz (or I) made last time, can you phrase them in an email? In this way, I can give you answer to the best of my knowledge." When you email back, cc to your PM occasionally because its "importance" or "confirmation"!

    Smile, smile, smile and


    Follow the above guptha...those are the perfect solutions.
    Chetan Parekh
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Sep 16, 2004
    Posts: 3636
    Some serious thoughts

    Avoid retaliating - you can do much more good / positive things in life instead of wasting time behind these kinds of events / people. Great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about events, and small minds talk about people.

    Corporate world has it bad offering and we have to live with it.

    Discuss it out for the last and final time with your friend over weekend and just forget it. Concentrate on your career and future appraisal.

    Some funny thoughts

    �You will be a PM one day, document the tactics and techniques used by your PM � it will be useful to you in future. (If you are preparing one, please email me too).
    �Are you seriously not feeling jealous of PM as that hot girl has soft corner for him?
    �You story sounds like good Bollywood movie story. Approach some producer with the concept.
    �In my team we don�t have a single girl and I have been asking my PM to have some girls in team. Now I will not.

    Guptha forget about funny thoughts, concentrate in serious thoughts.


    My blood is tested +ve for Java.
    guptha sanju
    Greenhorn

    Joined: Dec 19, 2006
    Posts: 20
    Great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about events, and small minds talk about people.
    you are 100%Right

    You will be a PM one day, document the tactics and techniques used by your PM
    I don't want to loss my respect and i don't want people to make fun of me and talk behind me ,laugh behind me .so i will never follow his path.

    Are you seriously not feeling jealous of PM as that hot girl has soft corner for him?
    I feel sorry for him !just for one brainless creature(girl) he lost everthing!

    You story sounds like good Bollywood movie story. Approach some producer with the concept.

    yeah sure one day i will direct a teleserial on it! defenetly it will be a hit.
    In my team we don�t have a single girl and I have been asking my PM to have some girls in team. Now I will not.
    All girls are not like her ! even in my team there are 2 more girls well dignified even though less exeperiance than her.unfortunately one of the girl started to follow the creature(girl) way!
    Raghavan Muthu
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Apr 20, 2006
    Posts: 3344

    see all others said, the "Story continues..."

    As its gonna be in the same way until and unless the particular individual realizes of his/her own, no other go guptha!!

    I think you can consolidate all the inputs given to your thread and act accordingly in a better and efficient way so that you are relaxed!!!
    Roseanne Zhang
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Nov 14, 2000
    Posts: 1953

    ** You Can Only Change Yourself

    The following is inscribed on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop in Westminster Abby (1100 A.D.) �

    When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country.

    But it, too, seemed immovable.

    As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.

    And now, as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family.

    From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country, and who knows, I may have even changed the world.


    Refusing to make any adjustment/change on oneself, blaming/complaining everyone else, that is the real problem of this thread!

    You Can Only Change Yourself!

    I have learned this the hard way!

    Life becomes so much happier since I learned the truth earlier than the above quoted person.

    Thanks GOD!
    [ June 07, 2007: Message edited by: Roseanne Zhang ]
    Jay Shin
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: May 14, 2004
    Posts: 169
    unfortunately one of the girl started to follow the creature(girl) way!


    Interesting.... can you tell us more about this girl following the creature???

    Also, I highly recommend this book to your team:

    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0446526568/bobsutton-20

    http://bobsutton.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/06/the_no_asshole_.html

    http://electricpulp.com/guykawasaki/arse/



    a professor of management science at Stanford University, argues that assholes�those who deliberately make co-workers feel bad about themselves and who focus their aggression on the less powerful�poison the work environment, decrease productivity, induce qualified employees to quit and therefore are detrimental to businesses, regardless of their individual effectiveness. He also makes the solution plain: they have to go.

    [ June 07, 2007: Message edited by: Jay Shin ]
     
    Consider Paul's rocket mass heater.
     
    subject: PM and Attractive girl in team member
     
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