We are expecting our first baby in this month. As I will be taking off from work for a while, and the financial pressures were increasing, hubby started looking for a job. We will just be able to manage things financially.. if something does not come up!
Now hes got an offer and will be expected to join the new company around Feb first week.
The new company is a new setup in the city and the country, while he is kind of settled at the current place. Workload is expected to increase at both places in the days to come.
Leaves and timeoff will not be too easy in the new company in the initial days. But hes expecting a better work env in the new place.
I was wondering how much support I will need from him in the first few months with the baby. And few means around how many months before one parent can handle a baby? Pretty vague question really but as we dont have any experience with a baby, we are clueless.
Anything you can pinpoint or assure about, will be a great help!
Alongwith being a good coder, try to be a good professional as well!
With our first child what we found worked was having me look after the baby from when I got home till about midnight. This included entertainment, feeding, bathing and getting the baby to sleep. Obviously any time the baby was asleep I was able to do other things, but these also included doing the washing, sterilising bottles, getting ready for the next day etc etc. My wife would rest during this period but would still help out so it wasn't 100% me.
If you're having trouble settling the baby at night, never be awake at the same time. If you're exhausted and need to hand over the baby, do so and then go to bed. Force your partner to do the same.
In the morning I would try to help out again before going to work.
The idea here if that my wife gets (potentially) a longer sleep from 10pm till 8am although broken by feeds. I get unbroken sleep from 12 till 7am which would hopefully let me get through the work day. Sanity was maintained.
I guess it's very hard to say anything really meaningfull, because both babies and mothers are so different. There are babies, that are so satisfied that you're barely going to notice they're there, but some can be really demanding.
Also, some women adjust easily to the new role and have little problems being alone most of the time, and some adjust long and hard. From my experience Moms who had a fulfilling professional life before, adjust harder than women who didn't work or worked only part-time.
My daughter was a nightmare for the first three months and turned to a charm at the 4-5 months mark. I guess also the environment plays a big role. If you have family/friends you can visit on a regular basis, life is easier. Otherwise, lacking grown-up conversation may become a problem (besides taking physical care of the baby).
If the mom keeps herself peaceful and calm... it reflects on the baby too. i read it inone of the parenting magazine and didnt beleive until i practiced it myself...my daughter was a charm and never gave me any sleepless nights... i tend to be calm and show her my calm and smiling face always and she followed without fail.
I went through same situation and managed my baby on my own. So from my personal experience I will say 3 months is minimum time till you can manage baby single handedly.Definitely you need good support from your husband since after delivery you wont be your 100%.The best thing is to get support from your family and friends in case he is busy. I have managed my baby single handedly since my husband too was very busy at that time , but there are small small things with the baby which are unexpected being the first time parent and that make you exhausted. So this is the time to get maximum support. Good luck and enjoy your first child.
Joined: Mar 13, 2003
Thanks a lot to everyone.. I went to one womens site and there were so many posts that their partners dont help out that I had started to worry. My husband has helped me a lot in past 8 months so I just closed the site and stopped worrying..
Preeti, actually Im in India and there will be a maid with me during the day time. From around 9:30am to 6:30pm. Will I be able to manage better with her or I will still need a lot of help from my husband? Did you look after your baby without ANY other help?
Thanks in advance!
Regards, Tina [ December 04, 2007: Message edited by: Tina Desai ]
Yes I looked my baby without any help being in US. But if you have maid then rest all is management.Some tips that worked for me:
1.Keep everything handy before baby is delivered like clothes,diapers,wipes,bottles,bottles brush,bibs,pump,pacifiers,baby oil,comb,nail cutter,some musical toys,diaper cream,soap,formula etc etc.This way you dont have to go to market for each thing and your dependancy will be minimum.
2.Night time one feed you can give of formula so baby can sleep for little longer time.
2.Cereals like oatmeal are really handy and very healthy during this time for you.
3.Take out time for your relaxation and healing too, the best way is sleep when baby sleeps.
Just go with the flow and dont think much.It is the golden time of your life!
Best of luck.
Joined: Mar 13, 2003
Thanks a lot friends for your sharing your valuable first hand experiences! Your replies have made me relax and not worry too much.