Quotes

I like a good quote, when I find one, I save it.
I'd like to hear some new ones. Please include the source, if you know it.
Here's a start...
"The more I get to know people, the better I like dogs."
Mark Twain

Dunno who said this:
"Adam & Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married... and she didn't have to hear about how well his Mother cooked."

There is no such thing as justice - in or out of court. -- Clarence S. Darrow

<quote>I flicked this from quotablequotes.net</quote>

If it aint broke dont fix it

Puff Puff give, Puff Puff give

"May I know what does "zhi3 xian4 yuan1 yang1 bu4 xian4 xian1" mean?
Which one may I know is more applicable for better lives?"
- Johnson Chong

This is a serious one!
"Live as if you were to die tommorow. And Learn as if you were to live forever." - Mahathma Gandhi.

and this is too serious !
I love deadlines! Especially that wooshing sound when it passes by!!

[This message has been edited by J Ash (edited May 02, 2001).]

These are not exactly quotes:
When Adlai E. Stevenson was running against Dwight D. Eisenhower for President, someone rushed up after a speech to inform him he would have "the support of all thinking Americans."
"Not enough," Stevenson replied. "I'm going to need a majority."
Here's another: When his wife Elizabeth served as secretary of transportation in Reagan's Cabinet, Bob Dole once said that the Federal Highway Administration used his wife's biscuit recipe to fill potholes.

Still tryin to figure out the "dead lines" quote. I must be missing something.

"Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded"
Yogi Berra

Originally posted by Ray Marsh:
Still tryin to figure out the "dead lines" quote.

Read that as "deadlines"!

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like victory.

I've had the same favorite quote for nearly twenty years:
"You can't convince me that the (minor bleep) thing won't eat my copy."
-- Ted Koppel referring to a computer.
It's been so long, I can't remember where I read it, some kind of newspaper. Oh well, a computer has probably eaten his copy a few times by now.
Paul R
[This message has been edited by Paul Ralph (edited April 26, 2001).]

thomas...
"that beach is pretty hairy, sir..."
"charlie don't surf!"

"once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right..."
song: scarlet begonias
artist: jerry garcia (grateful dead)

"without love in the dream it will never come true..."
jerry garcia (grateful dead)

I saw this once as a signature in an email.
"Having kids in the back seat of your car may cause accidents.
Having accidents in the back seat of your car may cause kids."

My favorite:
I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Never put your tongue on a glacier."
-Gary Larson, "The Far Side"

"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
-Mother Theresa

"Stupid is what stupid does"
Forest Gump

"i invented the internet..."
wanna be president Al Gore

"No matter what we do around here, it turns to politics!"
Ray Marsh: Programmer at large

�Work and study! Work and study!�
M Prembroke. http://www.javaranch.com/ubb/Forum37/HTML/000440.html

From the same thread:
John Coxey: I never wash my car - ever!!! Would not want the shine to scare the fish when I pull up to the stream

KARL ROVE, Bush's long-time political guru and White House advisor:
"As people do better, they start voting like Republicans...
...unless they have too much education and vote Democratic,
which proves there can be too much of a good thing."

And some classic quotes from our edjikated Prezidant:
"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take
dream." �LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000
"Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it."
"Quotas are bad for America. It's not the way America is all
about."
"Our priorities is our faith."�Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 10, 2000
"It's going to require numerous IRA agents."
�On Gore's tax plan, Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 10, 2000
"One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected."
--Los Angeles, Sept. 27, 2000
"...more and more of our imports are coming from overseas."
-- On NPR's Morning Edition (9/26)
"...I don't need to be subliminabable.."
Orlando, FL, Sept. 12 -- when caught using subliminal techniques in his dirty ads against Gore...
"Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness."
--CNN online chat, Aug.30, 2000
"We cannot let terriers and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile."
�Des Moines, Iowa, Aug. 21, 2000
I could go on, but JavaRanch would have to upgrade their WebHosting plan.

i would get kicked-off Java Ranch if i tried to quote Slick Willie and Algore...
i wish i had the exact quote, but this is the idea...
an elderly couple in Texas expressed concerns about the possibilty that the "Eagle Express" train (Amtrack) was going to be done away with... Al Gore said that he was "Deeply concerned about the environment in Texas and especially the endangered Eagles..."
i am glad that an environmentalist is so up to date on our feathered friends.
the point of this is that EVERYONE makes stupid comments... let it rest!
[This message has been edited by Greg Harris (edited April 26, 2001).]

Let it rest? But it's such good fun! Even Dubbya himself likes to joke frequently about his uncertain command of the English language...although it is sometimes painful to watch the guy smirk and basically call himself an idiot over and over. I happen to enjoy these quotes, including yours about Al Gore. Nobody's going to kick you off JavaRanch for quoting Slick Willie or Big Al...unless of course you're going to quote William's cigar talk with Monica.

If you think theirs can give Shrub's a run for his money, bring 'em on.
As for more serious quotes, my favorite is from a song by Everything But The Girl:
"To know yourself is to let yourself be loved."

"... This doesn't mean, of course, that any given message board can never have more than about two billion records, but unless you have insanely active chat board members this is not likely to be a problem"
David Hunter. Beginning XML, p.588

If you have a fight with someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. Then you will be a mile away from them and you will have their shoes.

I know you think you know what you thought I said, however, what you heard is not what I meant.

"There is a sifficiency in the world for man's need, but not for man's greed." --Ghandi
I also like:
"That woman drove me to drink, and I didn't even have the decency to thank her." --W.C. Fields

"Letta me esplain...no, there is a too much...letta me sum up..."
&&
"Hallo! My name is Inigo Montoya. You killa my father. Prepare to die."
-- Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin), "The Princess Bride"

"If you're ever in a job that requires you to carry a gun, its time to get a new job."
-- My Dad
"Because it was there."
-- Sir Edmund Mallory when asked why he climbed Everest
"Lots of people go to college for 7 years."
-- Tommy (Chris Farley), "Tommy Boy"
"Yeah, they're called Doctors."
-- Richard (David Spade), same
And finally,
"In the immortal words of Socrates...'I drank what!?' "
-- Val Kilmer, "Real Genius"
------------------
I'm a soldier in the NetScape Wars...
Joel

"Success did not spoil me, I've always been insufferable." - Fran Leibowitz

"Man who lie on hill, not on level."
"I see, I see, said the blind man as he took a long walk off a short pier."
My Dad (no idea if they're original or not)
One of my favourites: "You can take a horticulture but you can't make her think" ... Dorothy Parker
"The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything." ...E. J. Phelps
"Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify." ... Ambrose Bierce
"I'd rather be right than be President." ... Henry Clay
"Politicians aren't born, they are excreted." ... Cicero
Most famous non-quote: "Survival of the fittest" .. Darwin (he never said it

Jane
[This message has been edited by Jane Griscti (edited April 27, 2001).]

A short Dorothy Parker poem:
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
After four I'm under my host!"

Hi
Heres something from me..
If ever I be successfull in life and if somebody asks me at that time what is the secret of your success, I would simply smile and say I get up whenever I fall down.
This I had read in a newspaper.
Kajol Shorff
[This message has been edited by Kajol Shroff (edited April 28, 2001).]

Here is a quote I recently found

. . .
"What is

that after Johnson Chong left us, there are only three deep thinkers on the Ranch - Eager Beaver, Jim and Map. Other folk quote really deep thinkers or indulge themselves in Word Associations." --Mapraputa Is
http://www.javaranch.com/ubb/Forum32/HTML/000395.html
Sigh... I am relegated to quoting deep thinkers.

(no harm meant Map...)
OP