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Java jokes??

Paul Ralph
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 10, 2000
Posts: 312
I've seen good jokes, bad jokes, lewd jokes (hello Chumma), but not very many Java jokes. I did a search on java and joke and this was the only thread with a real java joke: http://www.javaranch.com/ubb/Forum32/HTML/000526.html
...and I didn't even get it. So people, I challenge you...
< >Let's hear some Java jokes!
As a start, I present my (lame) JavaRanch joke:
I'd like to nominate my minature daschund as the official JavaRanch dog. After all, aren't cowboys always saying "Get a long little doggy"?
As for Java jokes, a really good example is question 1 of Marcus Green's Mock Exam #2. In reference to compiling an abstract class he gives option 4:
4) The compiler will complain that the method myfunc in the base class has no body, nobody at all to looove it

Now that's funny.
Paul R
[This message has been edited by Paul Ralph (edited June 06, 2001).]
Greg Harris
Ranch Hand

Joined: Apr 12, 2001
Posts: 1012
this one is best when told with another joke first...
How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
"You're still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!"
How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
One; to generate a "ChangeLightBulb" event to the socket.

what?
Junilu Lacar
Bartender

Joined: Feb 26, 2001
Posts: 4456
    
    6

Inspired by something Cindy wrote yesterday:
Real Java programmers don't do it with primitives.

Junilu - [How to Ask Questions] [How to Answer Questions]
Junilu Lacar
Bartender

Joined: Feb 26, 2001
Posts: 4456
    
    6

Q: Why do real Java programmers wear glasses?
A: Because they don't C#.
Original, at least I think it is, by me. You read it first on JavaRanch!

[This message has been edited by JUNILU LACAR (edited June 06, 2001).]
Cindy Glass
"The Hood"
Sheriff

Joined: Sep 29, 2000
Posts: 8521
Paul -
Object[][]
Object (2) arrays
"Object to a raise"


"JavaRanch, where the deer and the Certified play" - David O'Meara
Paul Ralph
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 10, 2000
Posts: 312
Ah yes, thanks Cindy.
Next time an opening for a sheriff comes up, I'm guessing you'll get it. And that's no joke.
Paul R
Anonymous
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Posts: 18944
Darn...I always thought that Java developers would not worry about the issue, since it is OBVIOUSLY A HARDWARE ISSUE....

Originally posted by Greg Harris:
this one is best when told with another joke first...
How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
[b]"You're still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!"

How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
One; to generate a "ChangeLightBulb" event to the socket.[/B]

Cindy Glass
"The Hood"
Sheriff

Joined: Sep 29, 2000
Posts: 8521
Touche
Mark Andrews
Greenhorn

Joined: Nov 10, 2003
Posts: 1
"Java programming is like teenage sex ....
Everyone talks about it all of the time (but they don't really know what they are talking about);
Everyone claims to be doing it;
Everyone thinks everyone else is doing it;
Those few who are actually doing it:
Are not practicing it safely;
Are doing it poorly, and
Are sure it will be better next time."
Frank Silbermann
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jun 06, 2002
Posts: 1387
Java programmers working on porno websites are doing "sex object"-oriented programming.
 
wood burning stoves
 
subject: Java jokes??