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More of Customer Support

Chumma Fun
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 04, 2001
Posts: 92
These are some of the converstaions which
costumers and helpdesk had.
Here are some conversations, which had actually happened between help desk people and their customers:
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Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "Whatdoes it say?"
Customer: "Something about anerror and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
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Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
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Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
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Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"
Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote'click'."
-----------------------------------------------
Customer: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"
-----------------------------------------------
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
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Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer "No..."
-----------------------------------------------
Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support: ?@#$?
-----------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
see
the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
-----------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."
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Customer: "I'm going to be using Windows NT. Should I get the Server or Workstation version?"
Tech Support: "Well, are you using it as a workstation or as a server?"
Customer: "A server. So, which one do I get?"
Tech Support: "The server version perhaps?"
Customer: "Which one is that?"
Tech Support: "Windows NT Server."
Customer: "Ok, thanks."
-----------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?"
Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service)
Tech Support: "Well then we can't--"
Customer: "It says 'no dial tone'."
Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line with me right now. You need to--"
Customer: "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to try a few times, and it will let me through."
Tech Support: "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because you're on the phone with me."
Customer: "It must be busy. I'll try again later."
-----------------------------------------------
Customer: "I can't log in to my account."
Tech Support: "Ok, let's look at your configuration."
Customer: "Ok...but I know that my User ID is case sensitive."
Tech Support: "Yes it is. Ok, what does it say in the 'User ID'field?"
Customer: "Like I said, 'Case Sensitive'."
-----------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."
-----------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
-----------------------------------------------
Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
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Customer: "I don't need any of that SQL stuff -- I just want a
database!"
-----------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
-----------------------------------------------

Enjoy!
Rowan Brownlee
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 07, 2000
Posts: 97
I new a fellow who was meant to install some pc's with local printers. On some of them he didn't connect the printer to the pc. I remember taking a look afterwards and wondering - how can this happen?
On another occasion he was meant to hook up some workstations to network printing. He installed the drivers but didn't link them to the printing queue. Folks is funny.
Rowan Brownlee
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 07, 2000
Posts: 97
...And I remember another fellow who changed all the printer settings on all the workstations on an entire floor. He linked everyone to a new printer, but didn't install any printer drivers. That was a hoot. :-)
 
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