The Story of Dot-Com In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. Now Dot Com was an amazingly comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. And so she came to be known as Amazon Dot Com. One day, when the moon was full, and they were sleeping in the tent, Dot said unto Abraham, "Why doth thou labor in the sun and travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving our tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a full camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and also drums in-between the towns to send messages saying what you have for sale. And they will reply telling you which town will give you the best price for thy goods. And the sale can be made on the drums and goods can be delivered by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent or from the bed of his comely young wife. And several young men did take to Dot Com's trading as greedy horseflies take to camel dung. And they were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short. One day, Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel or, as it came to be known "eBay." And he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are." And Dot replied, "How about Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators?" "That's it," exclaimed Abraham, "YAHOO!" And lo, the land was feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums. And the VCs (Vulture Capitalists) came forward to feed on the spoils of the land. And the money-lenders (bankers) feasted off the fat of the land. And many peasants put their shekels from their score-score-and-one Kabba (401k) into the making of the drums. This success did arouse much greed and envy. A money-lender named Maccabia did hide himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And it came to pass that one day, a seer who could see further and clearer than his fellows said, " How many drums do we really need? I fear we are making too many drums and hiring too many drummers. The whole enterprise doth seem like the Great Pyramid of Giza (a pyramid scheme)." And slowly, the drumming slowed down and it stopped. And there was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. All this while, no one had noticed that the real riches had gone to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who had bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed his drums would work only with the drumheads and drumsticks made by his company.