The Washington Post published a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries: Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
JavaBeginnersFaq "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift; that's why they call it the present." Eleanor Roosevelt
Originally posted by jason adam: Freud would have a field day with this
Which reminds me of the one about the proctologist and psychiatrist who decided to set up a practice together and were trying to find just the right name for their clinic. They decided against "Rears and Queers" and "Nuts and Butts". They ended up going with "Odds and Ends".
Chicken Farmer ()
Joined: May 08, 2001
I would throw a tomato but I'm making spaghetti for dinner