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Conversations with computers users!

Younes Essouabni
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 13, 2002
Posts: 479
I've just received a mail and I want to share it.
If you have same kind of joke, you can share it plz!
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------
> > Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
> > ----------------------------------------------
> > Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Customer: "I don't need any of that SQL stuff-I Just want a
> database!"
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
> > Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
> > Tech Support: "Well?"
> > Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Customer: "I have a long distance modem."
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Customer: "I don't have a space bar.
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a
> > document, but the computer won't boot properly."
> > Tech Support: "What does it say?"
> > Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
> > Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
> > Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an
> Intel inside."
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're
> > open 24hours."
> > Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
> > Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it."
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"
> > Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
> > Customer: "Ok."
> > Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
> > Customer: "No."
> > Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop- up menu?"
> > Customer: "No."
> > Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
> > until this
> > point?"
> > Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Customer: "Now what do I do?"
> > Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
> > Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
> > Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
> > Customer: "How do you spell that?"
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am
> > still getting
> > the same error message."
> > Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
> > Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
> > Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
> > Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
> > Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
> > Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
> > Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word set-up disk."
> > Customer: "What?"
> > Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
> > Customer "No ..."
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
> > Tech Support: ?@#$?
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the
> > screen, can you see
> > the 'OK' button displayed?"
> > Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"
> > Customer: "A white one."
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Customer: "I'm going to be using Windows NT. Should I get the
> > Server or
> > Workstation version?"
> > Tech Support: "Well, are you using it as a workstation or as
> > a server?"
> > Customer: "A server. So, which one do I get?"
> > Tech Support: "The server version perhaps?"
> > Customer: "Which one is that?"
> > Tech Support: "Windows NT Server."
> > Customer: "Ok, thanks."
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Tech Support: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
> > Customer: "How do you spell that?"
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Customer: "I can't log in to my account."
> > Tech Support: "Ok, let's look at your configuration."
> > Customer: "Ok...but I know that my User ID is case sensitive."
> > Tech Support: "Yes it is. Ok, what does it say in the 'User
> > ID' field?"
> > Customer: "Like I said, 'Case Sensitive'."
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
> > Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the
> > grocery store."
> > -----------------------------------------------
> > Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
> > Customer: "Pentium."
> > -----------------------------------------------
> >
>


Younes
By constantly trying one ends up succeeding. Thus: the more one fails the more one has a chance to succeed.
Erik Dark
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 28, 2002
Posts: 107
> > Customer: "Where can I find that damned anykey you are talking about?."
Anonymous
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Posts: 18944
after a 4days training on windows at a bank,one of the accountants stands up and says:
i understand most of your demonstration ,but could you please tell me whats that small arrow running around the screen.
"from real life"......
David O'Meara
Rancher

Joined: Mar 06, 2001
Posts: 13459

I was sitting in a 2nd year Comp Science class at university and someone asked what a 'bit' was...
 
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subject: Conversations with computers users!