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Any idea for java

Brett Anthoine
Greenhorn

Joined: Mar 12, 2002
Posts: 27
Hi folks,
Here a small joke about programming languages, but Java is missing. Any idea ?

HOW TO TELL WHICH PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE YOU'RE USING
C
You shoot yourself in the foot.
C++
You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all
in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since
you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at
others and saying, "That's me, over there."
FORTRAN
You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes,
then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets,
you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling ability.

COBOL
Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER.
on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK
whether shoelace needs to be retied.
BASIC
Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On big systems,
continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.
Pascal
The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.
Visual Basic
You'll shoot yourself in the foot, but you'll have so much fun doing it
that you won't care.
Ada
After correctly packaging your foot, you attempt to concurrently load
the gun, pull the trigger, scream and shoot yourself in the foot. When
you try, however, you discover that your foot is of the wrong type.
Assembly
You try to shoot yourself in the foot only to discover you must first
reinvent the gun, the bullet, and your foot.


Brett Anthoine<br />"640k should be enough for anybody."
Manoj Pandey
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 03, 2001
Posts: 36
Java:
The version 1.4.1 of the gun does not support the bullet. Bullet would be deprecated


Manoj
[ April 06, 2002: Message edited by: Manoj Pandey ]

Sun Certified Java Programmer
Jim Yingst
Wanderer
Sheriff

Joined: Jan 30, 2000
Posts: 18671
There are a lot of versions of this floating around:
http://www.adapower.com/humor/langcomp.html
http://www.m5p.com/~pravn/foot.html
http://www.dspnet.claranet.fr/~bp/computer/shootyourself.php3
http://duff.geology.washington.edu/staff_pages/shootfoot.html


"I'm not back." - Bill Harding, Twister
Brett Anthoine
Greenhorn

Joined: Mar 12, 2002
Posts: 27
Thanks Jim
Randall Twede
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 21, 2000
Posts: 4347
    
    2

at http://www.adapower.com/humor/langcomp.html
i love this one although i have mixed feelings about the message it sends(i used to like assembly).
Assembly :
The same as C, except you have to hand-machine all the pieces as well. When you pull the trigger, your whole house explodes.
im still trying to figure out the java one
[ April 07, 2002: Message edited by: Randall Twede ]

SCJP
Visit my download page
Randall Twede
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 21, 2000
Posts: 4347
    
    2

even SCJP's can feel stupid sometimes. what does this mean?
Java:
You break into someone else's home and steal their water pistol. You then make a child gun that uses .38 rounds instead of water. When you pull the trigger on the child gun, nothing happens to you, but everyone who visits your house gets shot in the foot.
i cant seem to figure it out after a year of writing only html
Brett Anthoine
Greenhorn

Joined: Mar 12, 2002
Posts: 27
I don't get it either
Maybe the author means that Java is a like a toy (to use) but can handle real stuff
Ashik Uzzaman
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 05, 2001
Posts: 2370


You decide to shoot yourself in your foot and so make a specialized revolver that is a subclass of .32 but implements machine gun bullets. You are not worried about the place (platform) to shoot and view your model pistol to control the aim. When you shoot your foot it went so slowl that it never reached your foot and threw a ShootTimeException complaining that you were shooting out of foots!



Ashik Uzzaman
Senior Member of Technical Staff, Salesforce.com, San Francisco, CA, USA.
Anthony Villanueva
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 22, 2002
Posts: 1055
The compiler allows you to shoot your foot off, but afterwards you must try and catch it, or rethrow it to the next guy.
-anthony
Brett Anthoine
Greenhorn

Joined: Mar 12, 2002
Posts: 27
You try to shoot yourself from within an applet but aren't able to access the ressource foot...
Finally you decide to do it with a servlet but realize that someone allready made it with Python using cgi
Bear Bibeault
Author and ninkuma
Marshal

Joined: Jan 10, 2002
Posts: 61768
    
  67

You create a Gun given the name of the gun. Since you don't know what type of gun you have, you just point it at your foot, invoke trigger(), and hope for the best. Since the name of the gun was "com.hollywood.stunts.Gun" all that happens is a little flag with "BANG!" on it comes out.
bear, suffering from an hour of sleep deprevation
[ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: Bear Bibeault ]

[Asking smart questions] [Bear's FrontMan] [About Bear] [Books by Bear]
Sameer Jamal
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 16, 2001
Posts: 1870
.NET
choose one of the above method to shoot your foot

c# If u dont like any of the above method then there is no need to shoot ur foot
Randall Twede
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 21, 2000
Posts: 4347
    
    2

ahh i see this thread is getting better. i especially like anthony, brett and bears observations
Randall Twede
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 21, 2000
Posts: 4347
    
    2

netscape ruined the appeal of applets for me. i follow the API to post from my applet to my servlet and netscape4.7 wont do it. i tried other approaches like get. asked experts here at javaranch even book authors. of course every attempt worked fine in IE. i finally gave up.
 
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