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Marriages In East

Anonymous
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Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Posts: 18944
Hi folks !
I assume that the following happens in the west
Friendship -> Love -> Sex -> Marriage

But in most parts of the East
Marriage -> Sex ->Love/Friendship (Optional)
Lucky partners who are also good friends.
Now here is what usually happens.
If a guy wants to get married his parents/relaives "search" a girl for him. Families of both the girl and the guy meet several times to know each other better and things might/might_not work out.
THe dilemma is that in most cases the girl and guy just see each other from a "distance" usually "afew" times on family get togethers.
So they don't know anything about one another and the knot is tied.
But with the new generation things are changing and both the girl/guy atleast try to learn more about one another.
Hmmmm.Im 23. So like my time might come soon, prolly after 10 years or so .I was thinking on this.
I wanna take charge of my destiny and would like to know the girl well enough before anything happens. I'm afraid my parents/relatives might go blind and tie me to some cow out there .
So, like if somehow i make it possible on some family get together to talk to the lady what do i ask her.
I mean can some of you come up with some questions that would really help me know this other person well enought in like 30 min.
I'd rather like to scan her mind if possible.
I want to ask her somethings that make me sure that this is the right/wrong person for me.
One thing i can think of is education.I would like her to have atleast a masters in any subject.
But there are lots of other things....
Your suggestions would be welcomed.
Eastern Boy.
Anonymous
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Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Posts: 18944
Jerusalem?
Meadowlark Bradsher
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Joined: Jan 23, 2001
Posts: 109
I'm not Cupid, or Kama for that matter, but IMHO your best hope is knowing yourself well enough, no matter the form of courtship.
But a sneaky question could be asking her what questions she thinks you should ask her. See? Then you can compare the thoughts you have now with hers.
-Lark


Meadowlark Bradsher
SCJ2P, IBM XML V1, Series 7/63
Nanhesru Ningyake
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Joined: Nov 29, 2000
Posts: 452
Hey Eastern, 30 minutes isn't enough if you are not guided by surefire intuition. When you get introduced to a girl, talk to her, meet with her, over a month or two, both sides willing ofcourse.
Talk anything that comes to your mind - as long as you don't impose anything on her, or make her uncomfortable. And don't become pretensive - be honest about yourself. And don't create false impressions and make the girl fall for you. That would hurt her if you eventually would say no to her.
No topics as taboo as long as you both are willing to talk... one thing you can ask her is if she's been in love ever - and let her tell her story. You can understand a lot about a woman by listening to her speak about her previous loves and dalliances Good luck, Eastern boy
Cindy Glass
"The Hood"
Sheriff

Joined: Sep 29, 2000
Posts: 8521
So this is going to be like a 30 minute inquisition right . This gives you 30 minutes to make yourself look like a jerk to your prospective bride .
Perhaps you should be more worried about making a good impression on her - and worry less about the trivial stuff - like how many masters degress that she has :roll: .


"JavaRanch, where the deer and the Certified play" - David O'Meara
Rufus BugleWeed
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Joined: Feb 22, 2002
Posts: 1551
Western marriages, at least in US, are not so
often as Hollywood portrays them. The divorce
rates are high and lots of couples stay together
for a lot reasons that have nothing to do with
love.
Finding true bliss with a mate looks like it
takes special skills and patience.
Anonymous
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Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Posts: 18944
Originally posted by Cindy Glass:
So this is going to be like a 30 minute inquisition right . This gives you 30 minutes to make yourself look like a jerk to your prospective bride .
Perhaps you should be more worried about making a good impression on her - and worry less about the trivial stuff - like how many masters degress that she has :roll: .

Now carrying out a detailed investigation--I think no fool is gonna do it as it is total BS.You dont have to make the other person uneasy.
It was just about some general chit-chat that helps you form some perception about the other person.
Impressions... & that too for a lady .No need for them. I prefer the way i am and to be honest i do make good impressions when i act natural .
Shilpa Bhargava
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Joined: Sep 15, 2002
Posts: 39
Originally posted by <Eastern Boy>:

Impressions... & that too for a lady .No need for them. I prefer the way i am and to be honest i do make good impressions when i act natural .


O La la ...look at that ....who is talking!!
Anonymous
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Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Posts: 18944
{
Friendship -> Love -> Sex -> Marriage
or
Marriage -> Sex ->Love/Friendship (Optional)
}
Now how many permutations are possible?
anyhow,one has to adjust,whatever be the order
Nanhesru Ningyake
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Joined: Nov 29, 2000
Posts: 452
>i do make good impressions when i act natural
You say 'act natural'. Sounds like an oxymoron to me
Ashok Mash
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Joined: Oct 13, 2000
Posts: 1936
Originally posted by <Eastern Boy>:
I assume that the following happens in the west
Friendship -> Love -> Sex -> Marriage

Well, as far as I can see it here, whats actually hapepening here is
Sex, Sex, Sex, .........., Sex -> More Sex -> Friendship -> Sex, Sex..., Sex -> Love -> Sex, Sex, ... , Sex -> Marriage -> No more Sex.

Just kidding.


[ flickr ]
R K Singh
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Joined: Oct 15, 2001
Posts: 5371
Originally posted by Ashok Manayangath:

Just kidding.

ANd I thought you are serious .....


"Thanks to Indian media who has over the period of time swiped out intellectual taste from mass Indian population." - Chetan Parekh
Amitabh Sharma
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Joined: Oct 11, 2001
Posts: 126
Well dont make the decision in those 30 minutes.
Anonymous
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Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Posts: 18944
Originally posted by Nanhesru Ningyake:
>i do make good impressions when i act natural
You say 'act natural'. Sounds like an oxymoron to me

Better hit the dictionary before replying like this unless you wanna look like a total jerk.
But its all right if you just started learning the language.
Nanhesru Ningyake
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 29, 2000
Posts: 452
Ok buddy, you asked for it.
'act': impersonate, masquerade, counterfeit, feign, sham, affect, bluff, counterfeit, fake, feign, pretend, put on, sham, simulate
'natural': instinctive, spontaneous, unpretentious, inartificial, candid, frank, open, plain, sincere, unfeigned, unlabored, ingenuous.
'oxymoron': a combination of contradictory or incongruous words.
Got it?
Anonymous
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Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Posts: 18944
Originally posted by Nanhesru Ningyake:
Ok buddy, you asked for it.
'act': impersonate, masquerade, counterfeit, feign, sham, affect, bluff, counterfeit, fake, feign, pretend, put on, sham, simulate
'natural': instinctive, spontaneous, unpretentious, inartificial, candid, frank, open, plain, sincere, unfeigned, unlabored, ingenuous.
'oxymoron': a combination of contradictory or incongruous words.
Got it?

I used them in the following literal sense,
act natural==in a normal way, without exaggerating, easily, without trying, without artifical help
Good luck in your endeavours.
R K Singh
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Joined: Oct 15, 2001
Posts: 5371
someone was talking about SEX .....
Ashok Mash
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 13, 2000
Posts: 1936
It wasn't me!
Nanhesru Ningyake
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Joined: Nov 29, 2000
Posts: 452
>Good luck in your endeavours.
The same to you, Eastern boy, may you find a girl who can see through your acting
Anonymous
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Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Posts: 18944
Originally posted by Ravish Kumar:
someone was talking about SEX .....

Which sex ? male or female :roll:
R K Singh
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 15, 2001
Posts: 5371
In which gender you are interested to have SEX ??
I am interested in only and only female.
 
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