The science of shitology.... Do feel free to add in.
Ghost Shit The kind where you feel the shit come out, but there is no shit in the toilet. Clean shit The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. Wet shit The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain. Second Wave shit This happens when you're done shit-ing and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to shit some more. Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-shit The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke. Gassy shit It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing. Lincoln Log shit The kind of ahit that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush. Corn shit Self-explanatory. Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Shit Shit The kind where you want to shit but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times. Spinal Tap shit That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways. Wet Cheeks shit (The Power Dump) The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt gets splashed with water. Liquid shit The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl. Mexican shit It smells so bad your nose burns. The Dangling shit This shit refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done shiti-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose. The Last and most annoying: The Surprise shit You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops.......a shit!!!
The 'Red Knee' shit. The kind where you take so long, you have little red marks where your elbows were resting. And its lesser know variant, the 'Pins and Needles' shit. The kind where you try and stand up, but both your legs have gone to sleep. The 'Just Made It' shit. The kind where you race home, waddle to the toilet at breakneck speed, sit down, and immediately perform a 'Power Dump' of all your shit in one go.
(in case any powers that be are thinking of killing this thread, I officially approve of keeping this thread. I would much rather see this sort of thing than all the talk of war and getting pissed off.)
(in case any powers that be are thinking of killing this thread, I officially approve of keeping this thread. I would much rather see this sort of thing than all the talk of war and getting pissed off.) Great! I was thinking one of those sheriffs would come in and replace all references to shit with four stars, or something equally silly