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M $hit help desk

Anonymous
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Posts: 18944
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
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Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open
24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
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Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this
point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote'click'."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "I received the software update you sent,but I am still
getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer "No..."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support: ?@#$>
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can
you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?"
Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service)
Tech Support: "Well then we can't-"
Customer: "It says 'no dial tone'."
Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line with me right now.
You need to-"
Customer: "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have
to try a few times, and it will let me through."
Tech Support: "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now
because
you're on the phone with me."
Customer: "It must be busy. I'll try again later."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery
store."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "I have a long distance modem."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "I don't have a space bar
Randall Twede
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 21, 2000
Posts: 4347
    
    2

now im confused...at first i thought you were just being kind to MS, now im not so sure


SCJP
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Dave Vick
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 10, 2001
Posts: 3244
At a job interview I was part of (I was not the interviewee!!)...
interviewee: I've done a some practice on my own with ASP and javascript.
interviewer:Oh, what server were you using IIS, personal web server...?
interviewee: Internet Explorer
interviewer: Oh, OK. Thanks for coming in.
I know it's not polite to laugh at others but at the time it was really funny


Dave
R K Singh
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 15, 2001
Posts: 5371
Originally posted by Dave Vick:
At a job interview I was part of (I was not the interviewee!!)...

I dont know the authenticity of this conversation but interviewee is always in tension and sometimes he did what Dave has mention.... not because he did not know whats the difference between client app and server but because of tension....
AW it was good one
 
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