This week's book giveaway is in the OO, Patterns, UML and Refactoring forum. We're giving away four copies of Refactoring for Software Design Smells: Managing Technical Debt and have Girish Suryanarayana, Ganesh Samarthyam & Tushar Sharma on-line! See this thread for details.
Get to know the local Secretary or Admin or Office assistant, you know whoever it is that really knows how to get "office" things done. Oh, and find the coffee machine. Course I just use it to get really hot water for tea, but still . . . .
"JavaRanch, where the deer and the Certified play" - David O'Meara
Find out how to use the phone system. There is nothing more embarrassing then trying to transfer someone and accidentally hanging up...
And find out how to change the voicemail of the person who was sitting at your new office/desk/cubicle/whatever! 4. Get the org chart. 5. Determine how thin the walls are. 6. Find out about the email and internet policy. 7. Begin by not trusting anyone (am I a cynic or have I been burnt before?)
Make new friends by acting really, really keen and suggesting how they might want to maybe think about doing their job this way, instead of how they've been doing it for the eternity they've worked there. Find a power socket for your Black & Decker Sandwich Xpress G600 sandwich maker. And most vital of all: fill your desk with Post its, Biros and Typex.
Before installing IMs (Yahoo, MSN, AIM, or what ever), make sure that they dont have the habit of firing people for using IMs. To check this, just talk about IMs in general to the most geeky looking person around you.
find some good, reasonable prized places to eat around.
.....................................................................................................................[pst]In my case friday its much more interesting last thing to do in a company: I know: take that finish flag home. Tuesday then new company (sigh of relief) [ March 26, 2003: Message edited by: Axel Janssen ]
The BBC has a TV sitcom called "The Office", with comedian David Brent (and other fellow office mishaps) Not sure if it's available in the US but it is a worthwhile watch. You'll be able to vent all your office anger on one or more characters in the show, and go to work the next day thinking that your office job isn't that bad after all. Brilliant.
Things to do in a new company: Get to know your Systems Adminstrator(s). When you catch them browsing for mp3z and warez on Kazaa, ask them if they can hook you up too! But seriously, its a case of "Who watches the watchmen?" And the sysadmins are the watchmen. Get in with them, and your IT woes are a lot less... "Hey, whats up today? Did you catch that game the other day? Wooo! it was a close one! Say while Im here Im having a bit of a problem with my PC. Yeah, NT4 keeps crashing when I run Messenger, *Laugh* Saaaaay you think you could do a rebuild with Win2K? Ta, that would be great!" Mark [ March 26, 2003: Message edited by: Mark Fletcher ]
#1 Find the best looking girl / guy in the company and try for a date #2 Find the next best looking girl / guy in the company and try for a date #3 Find the next best looking girl / guy in the company and try for a date #4 Find the next best looking girl / guy in the company and try for a date #5 Find the next best looking girl / guy in the company and try for a date #6 Find the next best looking girl / guy in the company and try for a date #7 Find the next best looking girl / guy in the company and try for a date #8 Find the next best looking girl / guy in the company and try for a date #9 Find the next best looking girl / guy in the company and try for a date #10 Find the next best looking girl / guy in the company and try for a date
Joined: Jan 28, 2003
Originally posted by Mark Howard: The BBC has a TV sitcom called "The Office" ...
The Office: 30 minutes of cringing and laughing in equal measure. Superb. Someone sent me these a while back attributed to Brent (though I'm sure some of them are Dilbertisms). Amused me anyway ... 1. Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 2. Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. 3. There may not be an 'I' in 'Team', but there's a 'Me' if you look hard enough. 4. Process and Procedure are the last hiding place of people without the wit and wisdom to do their job properly. 5. Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability. 6. Never do today that which will become someone elses responsibility tomorrow. 7. Every time you open your mouth you have this wonderful ability to continually confirm what I think. 8. Show me a good loser and I'll show you a LOSER! 9. Put the key of despair into the lock of apathy. Turn the knob of mediocrity slowly and open the gates of despondency - welcome to a day in the average office. 10. It's the team that matters. Where would The Beatles be without Ringo? If John got Yoko to play drums the history of music would be completely different. 11. What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he's got something to eat and he won't die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts. 12. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?" 13. Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue. 14. If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail. 15. If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation. 16. You don't have to be mad to work here! In fact we ask you to complete a medical questionnaire to ensure that you are not. 17. If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you're trying to get them sacked. 18. If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried. 19. You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back. 20. If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. 21. Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do. 22. There's no 'I' in 'team'. But then there's no 'I' in 'useless smug colleague', either. And there's four in 'platitude-quoting idiot'. Go figure. 23. Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do. 24. Make good use of your cylindrical filing unit, the one you mainly keep under your desk. 25. Quitters never win, winners never quit. But those who never win and never quit are idiots. 26. If you're gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes - make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast. 27. Remember the 3 golden rules: 1. It was like that when I got here. 2. I didn't do it. 3. (To your Boss) I like your style. 28. The office is like an army, and I'm the field general. You're my footsoldiers and customer quality is the WAR!!! 29. Set out to leave the first vapour trail in the blue-sky scenario. 30. Statistics are like a lamp-post to a drunken man - more for leaning on than illumination. 31. A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of someone elses? 32. Is your work done? Are all pigs fed, watered and ready to fly?.... 33. You don't have to be mad to work here, but you do have to be on time, well presented, a team player, customer service focused and sober!! 34. I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just some b*stard with a torch, bringing me more work. 35. Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.
Joined: Aug 05, 2001
Thanks a lot for the advice! I had a couple of disaster starts in my previous career. It takes a lot of effort to overcome it. But I always remember what people told me, "be patient". So none of them get in my way. I will have a new start very soon. Hopefully, it will be all right this time, Thanks again for the advice. I really appreciate it!
Joined: Aug 05, 2001
Originally posted by Elaine Micheals: Inquire about their severance package!! hahahahahaha!