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[Rated R] Redneck Jokes

Michael Morris
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Joined: Jan 30, 2002
Posts: 3451
How are redneck children taught to put on their underwear?
Yellow in front and brown in back.
What's a twelve-year-old redneck virgin?
She's one that can run faster than her fourteen-year-old brother.
What's the last sound you hear before a redneck dies?
"Hey y'all, watch this!"
A pair of rednecks are on their honeymoon and the bride tells her new husband, "Honey be gentle, I'm still a virgin." Upon hearing this the groom leaves and goes back home to his father's house. He tells his father what happened, to which dad says, "Well, son you done the right thing, if she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
How can you tell when a redneck has moved into your neighborhood?
Your garbage can is turned over and your dog is pregnant.


Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction. - Ernst F. Schumacher
Randall Twede
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 21, 2000
Posts: 4340
    
    2

How do you give a redneck a vascectomy?
Answer: slap his sister on the back of the head.
how do you give a redneck a compliment?
Answer: tell him he has a nice tooth.
[ April 22, 2003: Message edited by: Randall Twede ]

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Michael Morris
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 30, 2002
Posts: 3451
What do tornados and redneck divorces have in common?
Somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.
Randall Twede
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 21, 2000
Posts: 4340
    
    2

ROFL
Bert Bates
author
Sheriff

Joined: Oct 14, 2002
Posts: 8815
    
    5
Bravo,
More, More !
Please!


Spot false dilemmas now, ask me how!
(If you're not on the edge, you're taking up too much room.)
Richard Hawkes
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 28, 2003
Posts: 1340
Q. Why won't you find hubcaps on a redneck's pickup?
A. Because his hunting dogs are eating out of them.
I was speaking to a redneck the other day and he got all irate when I asked if he'd ever slept with his sister.
"Gawd dammit NO!!", he cried, "Mine is a God fearing family and there'll be no sleeping with sisters. At least not until we is married."
Michael Morris
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 30, 2002
Posts: 3451
A pair of rednecks were standing before the judge of family court waiting for the decree that their divorce had been finalized. They had one question for the judge: "Will we still be brother and sister after this?"
Chumma Fun
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 04, 2001
Posts: 92
Who are rednecks..???


EnjoY!
Cindy Glass
"The Hood"
Sheriff

Joined: Sep 29, 2000
Posts: 8521
Rednecks


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Michael Morris
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 30, 2002
Posts: 3451

Who are rednecks?

The term comes from the fact that most of the men in the deep south during the time of segregation were accustommed to getting their hair "burred" or cut to near scalp level. Many were farmers who worked in the fields during the hot summer months and inevitably they would be sunburned on the back of their neck while bending over the crops. Hence they had red necks.
In essence it is a stereotypical term of an ignorant prejudice person prone to inbreeding.
Jim Yingst
Wanderer
Sheriff

Joined: Jan 30, 2000
Posts: 18671
To clarify slightly - the derivation refers to white farmers who, when working in the sun, got red sunburned necks.


"I'm not back." - Bill Harding, Twister
Chumma Fun
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 04, 2001
Posts: 92
how do you give a redneck a compliment?
Answer: tell him he has a nice tooth.

what these 'poor' farmers to do with these jokes?

EnjoY!
[ April 23, 2003: Message edited by: Chumma Fun ]
Jim Yingst
Wanderer
Sheriff

Joined: Jan 30, 2000
Posts: 18671
They're the original source of the stereotype. Historically, the people working outdoors doing stuff like farming were perceived to be more likely to be uneducated, poor, and isolated from "civilization", compared to people working indoors at a desk or counter of some sort. To some extent, the "redneck" stereotype has also grown to include most of the negative attributes people may associate with uneducated white Americans. Most of the jokes here are pretty exaggerated, not to be taken seriously. And it's worth noting that most of the people telling the jokes here are themselves white Americans - this is a form of laughing at ourselves.
[ April 23, 2003: Message edited by: Jim Yingst ]
Michael Morris
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 30, 2002
Posts: 3451
white Americans
Some of us are white Southern Americans, so we are really laughing at ourselves.
Jim Yingst
Wanderer
Sheriff

Joined: Jan 30, 2000
Posts: 18671
Right - and the rest of us are really laughing at Michael.
paul wheaton
Trailboss

Joined: Dec 14, 1998
Posts: 20543
    ∞

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redneck


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