[Rated R] Redneck Jokes

How are redneck children taught to put on their underwear?
Yellow in front and brown in back.
What's a twelve-year-old redneck virgin?
She's one that can run faster than her fourteen-year-old brother.
What's the last sound you hear before a redneck dies?
"Hey y'all, watch this!"
A pair of rednecks are on their honeymoon and the bride tells her new husband, "Honey be gentle, I'm still a virgin." Upon hearing this the groom leaves and goes back home to his father's house. He tells his father what happened, to which dad says, "Well, son you done the right thing, if she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
How can you tell when a redneck has moved into your neighborhood?
Your garbage can is turned over and your dog is pregnant.

How do you give a redneck a vascectomy?
Answer: slap his sister on the back of the head.
how do you give a redneck a compliment?
Answer: tell him he has a nice tooth.
[ April 22, 2003: Message edited by: Randall Twede ]

What do tornados and redneck divorces have in common?
Somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.

ROFL

Bravo,
More, More !
Please!

Q. Why won't you find hubcaps on a redneck's pickup?
A. Because his hunting dogs are eating out of them.
I was speaking to a redneck the other day and he got all irate when I asked if he'd ever slept with his sister.
"Gawd dammit NO!!", he cried, "Mine is a God fearing family and there'll be no sleeping with sisters. At least not until we is married."

A pair of rednecks were standing before the judge of family court waiting for the decree that their divorce had been finalized. They had one question for the judge: "Will we still be brother and sister after this?"

Who are rednecks..???

EnjoY!

Rednecks

Who are rednecks?

The term comes from the fact that most of the men in the deep south during the time of segregation were accustommed to getting their hair "burred" or cut to near scalp level. Many were farmers who worked in the fields during the hot summer months and inevitably they would be sunburned on the back of their neck while bending over the crops. Hence they had red necks.
In essence it is a stereotypical term of an ignorant prejudice person prone to inbreeding.

To clarify slightly - the derivation refers to white farmers who, when working in the sun, got red sunburned necks.

how do you give a redneck a compliment?
Answer: tell him he has a nice tooth.

what these 'poor' farmers to do with these jokes?

EnjoY!
[ April 23, 2003: Message edited by: Chumma Fun ]

They're the original source of the stereotype. Historically, the people working outdoors doing stuff like farming were perceived to be more likely to be uneducated, poor, and isolated from "civilization", compared to people working indoors at a desk or counter of some sort. To some extent, the "redneck" stereotype has also grown to include most of the negative attributes people may associate with uneducated white Americans. Most of the jokes here are pretty exaggerated, not to be taken seriously. And it's worth noting that most of the people telling the jokes here are themselves white Americans - this is a form of laughing at ourselves.
[ April 23, 2003: Message edited by: Jim Yingst ]

white Americans
Some of us are white Southern Americans, so we are really laughing at ourselves.

Right - and the rest of us are really laughing at Michael.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redneck