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Recruiting Infidels

Michael Morris
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 30, 2002
Posts: 3451
I have been assigned the task of recruiting new Infidels. If you are interested, please take a look at the following questions:
  • Given a choice between roast pork and rice with lamb entrails, would you choose the swine?
  • Do you prefer to use toilet paper over your bare hand?
  • Do you prefer a shot of Jack Daniel to unsanitary water to relax?
  • Can you safely say that you have no idea which direction Mecca is in?
  • Do you hate the idea of having sand in every orifice in your body?
  • Would you prefer driving an SUV to work over a camel?


  • If you can answer yes to most of the above questions, then you too could be an Infidel. Be wary of other recruiters claiming to represent the Infidels, especially anyone with a title like ugly redneck, they are spies trying to infiltrate our group.


    Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction. - Ernst F. Schumacher
    John Smith
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Oct 08, 2001
    Posts: 2937
    As the self-proclaimed leader of The Infidels, I set one more criteria for joining the clan: you must be sexually attracted to The Moose and be physically fit to perform autofellatio.
    Francis Siu
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Jan 04, 2003
    Posts: 867
    hi Michael
    Here might be suitable place to post your recruit.


    Francis Siu
    SCJP, MCDBA
    Sameer Jamal
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Feb 16, 2001
    Posts: 1870
    Originally posted by Eugene Kononov:
    As the self-proclaimed leader of The Infidels, I set one more criteria for joining the clan: you must be sexually attracted to The Moose and be physically fit to perform autofellatio.


    Lemme have it
    Mark Fletcher
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Dec 08, 2001
    Posts: 897
    Whats the pay package like?
    And do I get good health care?


    Mark Fletcher - http://www.markfletcher.org/blog
    I had some Java certs, but they're too old now...
    Michael Morris
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Jan 30, 2002
    Posts: 3451
    Whats the pay package like?
    All the roast suckling pig you can carry in a briefcase on the first and fifteenth of the month, and one liter of either Jack Daniel or Wild Turkey per month.

    And do I get good health care?
    Yes, you get a first-aid kit and a copy of How to be Your Own Physician.
    SJ Adnams
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Sep 28, 2001
    Posts: 925
    bash-2.05b$ ../dada manifesto.pb
    The JavaNegativist Manifesto:
    1. art is nothing more than a stupid game.
    2. those who believe that civilisation is liberating are fools.
    3. there is no Maxwell's Demon.
    4. technology is dead.
    Mapraputa Is
    Leverager of our synergies
    Sheriff

    Joined: Aug 26, 2000
    Posts: 10065
    Do you allow females in your units?


    Uncontrolled vocabularies
    "I try my best to make *all* my posts nice, even when I feel upset" -- Philippe Maquet
    Randall Twede
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Oct 21, 2000
    Posts: 4339
        
        2

    in what direction is mecca if you are on exactly the opposite side of the earth, and it the same distance either way?


    SCJP
    Visit my download page
    Paul McKenna
    Ugly Redneck
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Jul 08, 2000
    Posts: 1006
    Lies!! Lies!! Its all Lies!! I tell you. There is no toilet paper! We took all their rolls away. They can now roll around in their own muck.. Infidels!!!
    This evil villain Michael Morris!! He is like a cake and we will eat him up.
    Jack Daniel?? What Jack Daniel.. there is no such thing as Jack Daniel, there is only Yakub Emanuel. He is another great warrior of ours.
    We will give you 10 virgins each upon joining us and 10 more upon finishing off these Infidels!!


    Commentary From the Sidelines of history
    Richard Hawkes
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Jan 28, 2003
    Posts: 1340
    Originally posted by Randall Twede:
    in what direction is mecca if you are on exactly the opposite side of the earth, and it the same distance either way?

    Straight through the centre of the earth or hell itself!!! Can I be an infidel now please?
    Randall Twede
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Oct 21, 2000
    Posts: 4339
        
        2

    i don't know....10 virgins is a pretty tempting offer.....
    Richard Hawkes
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Jan 28, 2003
    Posts: 1340
    Originally posted by Randall Twede:
    i don't know....10 virgins is a pretty tempting offer.....

    Its a trick; they might be virgins but they're full of sand!!!
    Randall Twede
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Oct 21, 2000
    Posts: 4339
        
        2

    probly smell like camels too :roll:
    Richard Hawkes
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Jan 28, 2003
    Posts: 1340
    Nice pair'o humps tho'...
    Randall Twede
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Oct 21, 2000
    Posts: 4339
        
        2

    that's right! he didn't say they were human virgins..............
    Michael Morris
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Jan 30, 2002
    Posts: 3451
    MAP: Do you allow females in your units?
    Yes, but no virgins, they seem inclined to defect to the non-Infidels. Of course we'll require proof. And Eugene's autofellatio requirement is waived for the fairer sex.
    RH: Straight through the centre of the earth or hell itself!!! Can I be an infidel now please?
    I like your exuberance son! I think you'd be willing to march right through the inferno into downtown Mecca (oxymoron?) if we asked you to.
    Ugly Redneck Spy: We will give you 10 virgins each upon joining us and 10 more upon finishing off these Infidels!!
    HA! A thin tissue of lies! You have no virgins! You and your kind can no longer tell your daghters from your wives! �Vivan los Infideles! �Muerte a los cabrones del cuello colorado!
    Mapraputa Is
    Leverager of our synergies
    Sheriff

    Joined: Aug 26, 2000
    Posts: 10065
    *I* do not want your 10 virgins!
    I am so glad our ataman Michailo Moris depudiated your outragious lies and proved you do not have them.
    Richard Hawkes
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Jan 28, 2003
    Posts: 1340
    *I* do not want your 10 virgins!

    Are 10 not enough for you??
    Paul McKenna
    Ugly Redneck
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Jul 08, 2000
    Posts: 1006
    Originally posted by Mapraputa Is:
    *I* do not want your 10 virgins!
    I am so glad our ataman Michailo Moris depudiated your outragious lies and proved you do not have them.

    We'll give you 10 studs!
    Mapraputa Is
    Leverager of our synergies
    Sheriff

    Joined: Aug 26, 2000
    Posts: 10065
    Originally posted by Sriraj Rajaram:

    We'll give you 10 studs!

    Hey, I know what it means! All 10 will be ugly rednecks!
    Richard Hawkes
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Jan 28, 2003
    Posts: 1340
    Hey, I know what it means! All 10 will be ugly rednecks!
    Think again:

    "I say! Are you from Russia? Ding-dong, what?!"
    Anonymous
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Nov 22, 2008
    Posts: 18944
    I always think that Miss Universe contestants are all Miss Virgins.....
    Michael Morris
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Jan 30, 2002
    Posts: 3451
    I always think that Miss Universe contestants are all Miss Virgins.....
    Virgins are waaaay overated. They're just like balloons, one prick, all gone!
    [ May 09, 2003: Message edited by: Michael Morris ]
     
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