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Worlds easiest jobs

SJ Adnams
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Joined: Sep 28, 2001
Posts: 925
I'm thinking of a career change, here's what I've come up with so far:
Security Guard - just stare at people & play freecell
River Police - go up & down the river, totally pointless
Compliance officer - why isn't the font footnote arial??!!
Richard Hawkes
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Joined: Jan 28, 2003
Posts: 1340
How about centering the walnuts in Walnut Whirls?
Mark Fletcher
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Joined: Dec 08, 2001
Posts: 897
Train Driver - �26000 pa to push a lever forward. And pull a lever back. Also to look at signs and avoid leaves on tracks.
Plenty of holidays as you can strike when you feel like it.

[ May 15, 2003: Message edited by: Mark Fletcher ]

Mark Fletcher - http://www.markfletcher.org/blog
I had some Java certs, but they're too old now...
Andrew Monkhouse
author and jackaroo
Marshal Commander

Joined: Mar 28, 2003
Posts: 11430
    
  85

Ummm, how do train drivers avoid the leaves on the track? do they drive around them? lift the train over them? (in which case maybe they deserve the �26000
I saw a job being described the other day that my girlfriend would not let me try for: "nipple tweaker". Apparently this is a real job at the fashion shows ... if a garment being modelled shows the nipple, then the nipple has to be tweaked before the model goes on the catwalk.


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Mark Fletcher
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Joined: Dec 08, 2001
Posts: 897
Originally posted by Andrew Monkhouse:
Ummm, how do train drivers avoid the leaves on the track? do they drive around them? lift the train over them? (in which case maybe they deserve the �26000

It was intended as sarcasm.
:roll:
Andrew Monkhouse
author and jackaroo
Marshal Commander

Joined: Mar 28, 2003
Posts: 11430
    
  85

Doh!
Silly me - should have realised.
[ May 15, 2003: Message edited by: Andrew Monkhouse ]
Richard Hawkes
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Joined: Jan 28, 2003
Posts: 1340
Originally posted by Andrew Monkhouse:
...if a garment being modelled shows the nipple, then the nipple has to be tweaked before the model goes on the catwalk.
That's just glorified fluffing!
Anonymous
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Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Posts: 18944
Do Phd on some weird subjects like Theoretical Computer Science which will take min 3/4 years to complete.When you will complete Phd, you will be Senior Scientist working in some Research Lab.No competition (except for publishing the papers)
vi kam
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Joined: Oct 14, 2002
Posts: 117
UN Weapons Inspector perhaps ?? No achievement standards or performance evaluation criteria
Although i gather these jobs are hard to come by now a days, Too much competition, i believe


Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings -- They did it by killing all those who opposed them
Mark Fletcher
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Joined: Dec 08, 2001
Posts: 897
Originally posted by Richard Hawkes:
That's just glorified fluffing!

Funny, I was about to suggest Fluffing and you beat me to it
Great minds think alike and fools seldom differ, sir
Andrew Monkhouse
author and jackaroo
Marshal Commander

Joined: Mar 28, 2003
Posts: 11430
    
  85

You could become a school teacher in New South Wales (Australia).
According to a report in yesterday's paper, teachers here are not judged against an "explicit" set of professional standards .... so only 0.5% of the teachers had been identified as experiencing difficulties.
Added to that, there is only one category a teacher can be placed in (efficient) and if they get put in that category they automatically get a pay rise ... 70% of teachers in New South Wales are now at the top of the pay scale.
Jason Menard
Sheriff

Joined: Nov 09, 2000
Posts: 6450
The guy in the upscale hotel or restaurant Men's room who hands you a towel (or if you live in Turkey, the guy who gives you scented lotion for your hands when you exit the Men's room. ).
Almost as easy would have to be an elevator operator. I'm pretty sure they still have some of them around.
Cindy Glass
"The Hood"
Sheriff

Joined: Sep 29, 2000
Posts: 8521
The greeter at WalMart - just have to be friendly .


"JavaRanch, where the deer and the Certified play" - David O'Meara
Pakka Desi
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 11, 2002
Posts: 177
The easiest job probably would be to "do nothing". But then it would pay nothing. So the question should be which job has the maximum pay/work ratio.
I think a CEO's job is the best.


I'm just saying...it's right there!
Randall Twede
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Joined: Oct 21, 2000
Posts: 4340
    
    2

tutor in the computer lab is the easiest job i have ever had


SCJP
Visit my download page
John Lee
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Joined: Aug 05, 2001
Posts: 2545
some medical research volunteer, you are paid $100 just to do nothing.
Jason Menard
Sheriff

Joined: Nov 09, 2000
Posts: 6450
sperm donor
John Lee
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 05, 2001
Posts: 2545
guest on Jerry Springer Show.
Melvin Menezes
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Joined: Aug 03, 2002
Posts: 156
DL: some medical research volunteer, you are paid $100 just to do nothing.
Aaw! So this is one of those side-effects of the research, hmm..
Anybody's seen senseless?
Richard Hawkes
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 28, 2003
Posts: 1340
Originally posted by Jason Menard:
sperm donor

You mean people want it!!! Man, all those years and those tissues ...
Richard Hawkes
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 28, 2003
Posts: 1340
There are car park attendants at Korean dept stores. They're female, easy on the eye, wear white gloves, pastel coloured skirt suits and too much make-up.
They greet you and point to where you need to drive using elaborate hand gestures (in case you miss the big signs on the wall and the large white arrows on the ground).
Don't know about easy but certainly bizzare and pointless ...
[ May 15, 2003: Message edited by: Richard Hawkes ]
Michael Morris
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Joined: Jan 30, 2002
Posts: 3451
Quality control inspector for a brothel.


Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction. - Ernst F. Schumacher
Michael Morris
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Joined: Jan 30, 2002
Posts: 3451
There are 10 types of people - those that understand binary and those that dont.
Richard Hawkes
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Joined: Jan 28, 2003
Posts: 1340
Easiest job I ever had was having to read all the daily national press, find articles about my employers, cut them out and circulate them to the heads of departments. I used to make that one stretch till lunch time because I'm very thorough (bloody students )
Anyone tried this?:
http://www.bullshitjob.com/titles.html
Anonymous
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Posts: 18944
Originally posted by Michael Morris:
Quality control inspector for a brothel.

Chris Baron
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 21, 2003
Posts: 1049
Hi Simon,
the first address to apply is the next UN-Institution nearby !
Some Years ago the "International Tribunal for the Law of the Sea"(UNO) was looking for a facility manager. Payment according to UN-Scale ( wich i assume is not bad )
The Tribunal only assembles in case of a case.
List of cases since foundation.
Didn't get this dreamjob, but maybe you are luckier
Christian
SJ Adnams
Ranch Hand

Joined: Sep 28, 2001
Posts: 925
I think in general anything to do with maritime law seems easy.
I mentioned river police. On the river Thames there is a Harbormaster boat and at least two police launches. But the Thames is not a working river, there are just tourist boats, a ferry and at the weekend some sailing boats.
The only thing the police launches do is tank up & down all day (and night) scaring the ducks.
I doubt if they've ever made any arrests (apart from the robbery on the dome) and the salary is probably 30K + Police pension.
Amy Phillips
Ranch Hand

Joined: Apr 02, 2003
Posts: 280
Do we have ducks on the Thames?? Thought they had all been either shot or poisoned
No I have to say i have THE easist job at the moment for one year I have been paid to live in Germany and read english emails that the german colleagues write about once a week
Unforunutly it wasn't all it was cracked up to be and I have now been forced to join the cattle Drive to prevent further death of my brain cells
Erwin Bredford
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 11, 2003
Posts: 167
nothing beats this.,
comeing over to nigeria get into political office
and have access to billions of dollars.
spent them
as you like ,put some in a swiss account if you must.
no queries,no hassles .isn't that bliss or what.


--One learns a lot during a lesson but seeing is not enough,you must do;knowing is not enough ,you must apply--<br />SCJP 1.4,SCBCD,SCEA part 1,OCM JEE Enterprise Architect.
Michael Morris
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 30, 2002
Posts: 3451
... comeing over to nigeria get into political office ...
And then spamming everyone in the US to help them get all that money out of Nigeria.
Erwin Bredford
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 11, 2003
Posts: 167
come on over!!
and enjoy the ride.
 
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