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[sexual content]From today's spam: You have nothing to lose but...

Mapraputa Is
Leverager of our synergies
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Joined: Aug 26, 2000
Posts: 10065
This is just too funny:
"You have nothing to lose but a small penis!!"


Uncontrolled vocabularies
"I try my best to make *all* my posts nice, even when I feel upset" -- Philippe Maquet
Michael Morris
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Joined: Jan 30, 2002
Posts: 3451
"You have nothing to lose but a small penis!!"
My wife got me a pair of boxer shorts with a Horton Hears a Who motif, you know, the Dr. Seuss Elephant that says "A person is a person, no matter how small." I can't help to wonder if my wife was thinking "A penis is a penis, no matter how small" when she purcahsed them.


Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction. - Ernst F. Schumacher
Gail Mikels
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Joined: May 07, 2001
Posts: 634
Awwwww.....


Gail Mikels
Rick Portugal
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Joined: Dec 17, 2002
Posts: 243

Interesting choice of smilies.


IBM 286, SCJP, SCWCD, EIEIO
Michael Morris
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Joined: Jan 30, 2002
Posts: 3451
Awwwww.....
Hey, Elaine, you once posted in a thread that size doesn't matter.
[ May 17, 2003: Message edited by: Michael Morris ]
R K Singh
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Joined: Oct 15, 2001
Posts: 5370
Originally posted by Mapraputa Is:
This is just too funny:
"You have nothing to lose but a small penis!!"

What is this Map ..
You get lot of mails regarding
Are you planning sex change ??


"Thanks to Indian media who has over the period of time swiped out intellectual taste from mass Indian population." - Chetan Parekh
Mapraputa Is
Leverager of our synergies
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 26, 2000
Posts: 10065
Well, if to trust my incoming mail, it's not only that I have a small penis, no! That's not enough! Oh Gods! I also have problems with weak erections or something. Honestly, I think all this mail is anti-American, and if *I* were an American male, I would sue all these people who believe [for unknown reasons] that my penis is just too small [have you ever seen it?] and my erections are, mind you, too weak. Hm. Have you ever try? If not, welcome to the court...
Mark Fletcher
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Joined: Dec 08, 2001
Posts: 897
Hey this whole "Size" issue has just grown out of proportion.
*Looks down*
I mean, it might not touch the bottom of a tuna can but it will sure as hell bang the sides out of it...


Mark Fletcher - http://www.markfletcher.org/blog
I had some Java certs, but they're too old now...
Michael Morris
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Joined: Jan 30, 2002
Posts: 3451
... that my penis is just too small [have you ever seen it?] and my erections are, mind you, too weak. Hm. Have you ever try? If not, welcome to the court...
I think we should have a penis measuring, erection qualifying convention just for the sake of reference in case any of us ever do decide to sue the spammers.
Mapraputa Is
Leverager of our synergies
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 26, 2000
Posts: 10065
if *I* were an American male, I would sue all these people
Or maybe not... After all, isn't it nice that there are people who think about your penis every day???
Today's mail:
"Having an inadequate penis can affect your security level and self-image"
Thank you for warning me. If not you, I would never know how dangerous my penis can be for me.
"The result? A MUCH larger penis"
Oh. So how much larger?
[ May 21, 2003: Message edited by: Mapraputa Is ]
Sameer Jamal
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Joined: Feb 16, 2001
Posts: 1870
Originally posted by Mapraputa Is:
Well, if to trust my incoming mail, it's not only that I have a small penis, no! That's not enough! Oh Gods! I also have problems with weak erections or something. Honestly, I think all this mail is anti-American, and if *I* were an American male, I would sue all these people who believe [for unknown reasons] that my penis is just too small [have you ever seen it?] and my erections are, mind you, too weak. Hm. Have you ever try? If not, welcome to the court...

aRE YOU TALKING ABOUT cLITORIS
Jim Yingst
Wanderer
Sheriff

Joined: Jan 30, 2000
Posts: 18671
iS yOUR kEYbOARD bROkEN?
My favorite spam of this type was "You can have a rock-hard penis RIGHT NOW!!!". My response - great, I'm at work right now, in the middle of a sea of cubicles... could I maybe put this off until later when it's a little more convenient?


"I'm not back." - Bill Harding, Twister
Mapraputa Is
Leverager of our synergies
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 26, 2000
Posts: 10065
Originally posted by Sameer Jamal:

aRE YOU TALKING ABOUT cLITORIS

Nope.
Never seen "Having an inadequate clitoris can affect your security level and self-image"
or
"The result? A MUCH larger clitoris"
in my mail.
Thomas Paul
mister krabs
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 05, 2000
Posts: 13974
Originally posted by Mapraputa Is:
Never seen "Having an inadequate clitoris can affect your security level and self-image".

I find it hard to believe that women sit around the locker room mocking the size of each other's clitoris.


Associate Instructor - Hofstra University
Amazon Top 750 reviewer - Blog - Unresolved References - Book Review Blog
Mapraputa Is
Leverager of our synergies
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 26, 2000
Posts: 10065
Because we are smarter than that!
Mapraputa Is
Leverager of our synergies
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 26, 2000
Posts: 10065
Finally something good!
NEED A BIGGER DICK? COME AND GET IT!
That's right. First they recommended me to lose my small penis, now to get another one...
Richard Hawkes
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 28, 2003
Posts: 1340
Can I keep my small one and get an additional bigger one? I'm sure that's a novelty that'll never wear off ...
Anonymous
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Posts: 18944
It ain't fun being a big dick. Everytime my master flushes the toilet, my head gets drowned.
Richard Hawkes
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 28, 2003
Posts: 1340
Here's a piece by a guy took some miracle penis grow stuff:
http://westchesterweekly.com/gbase/News/content?oid=oid:24199
Its quite funny ...
Michael Matola
whippersnapper
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 25, 2001
Posts: 1739
    
    2
TP: the size of each other's clitoris.
Just couldn't bring yourself to type "clitorides," eh?
Mani Ram
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 11, 2002
Posts: 1140
I checked the junk folder of my mailbox after seeing this thread.
Here is what I have got
They will look like hungary wolves when they see it
Make her nuts with the more down there
People wll think its a bat in your pants
Think of how you will feel with added mass down there


Mani
Quaerendo Invenietis
Bert Bates
author
Sheriff

Joined: Oct 14, 2002
Posts: 8764
    
    5
A bat in your pants?
Like the sleeping while hanging upside down kind ?


Spot false dilemmas now, ask me how!
(If you're not on the edge, you're taking up too much room.)
Thomas Paul
mister krabs
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 05, 2000
Posts: 13974
Originally posted by Michael Matola:
Just couldn't bring yourself to type "clitorides," eh?
Aren't those islands off the cost of Great Britian?
basha khan
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 26, 2002
Posts: 516
Map,
dont worry,no matter of worry on this.
exercise regulerly.it'll become better and big.
if you have any problom or questien on exercising,ask to a good experienced coach.
you know coach?.
michel morris.he was a coach.a texan coach.
--------
basha
Gregg Bolinger
GenRocket Founder
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 11, 2001
Posts: 15286
    
    6

Originally posted by Thomas Paul:

I find it hard to believe that women sit around the locker room mocking the size of each other's clitoris.

But would you not pay to see this happen? How funny would that be.


GenRocket - A Test Data Generation Platform
Ashok Mash
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 13, 2000
Posts: 1936
Originally posted by Gregg Bolinger:

But would you not pay to see this happen? How funny would that be.

Well, then, here is some good news. There's this stage tour - its title says it all - A monologue about my v*gina (or something like that) - its british, and was on TV a couple of times, and its absolutely gross. (I dont have a link to an article about this theatre drama, as I can't search for it now, because a search on such topics might invite attention from my network gods).


[ flickr ]
Cindy Glass
"The Hood"
Sheriff

Joined: Sep 29, 2000
Posts: 8521
Originally posted by Thomas Paul:
I find it hard to believe that women sit around the locker room mocking the size of each other's clitoris.


No we save that fun for mocking each others Breast size .
Somehow, that information is so much more, well . . . public, than you guys's size .


"JavaRanch, where the deer and the Certified play" - David O'Meara
John Dunn
slicker
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 30, 2003
Posts: 1108
A monologue about my v*gina (or something like that) - its british, and was on TV a couple of times, and its absolutely gross.
It actually an American thing, started by Eve Ensler in NYC.
From the website:The Vagina Monologues

In THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES, Eve Ensler has given voice to a chorus of lusty, outrageous, poignant, brave, highly original and thoroughly human stories. Based on over 200 interviews with a diverse group of women from around the globe, the play explores the humor, power, pain, wisdom, outrage, mystery and excitement hidden in vaginas. Having seen THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES, no one � woman or man � will look at the world the same way again.
THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES has grown from an Off-Broadway hit into an international cultural phenomenon and has been performed in over 40 countries along with two North American touring companies, currently booked in over 160 cities in the US & Canada, and has been translated into over 35 different languages. Here in the U.S., the play has entered the popular consciousness and has been referenced on several hit television programs, including �Will & Grace,� �The Simpsons,� �Ally McBeal,� �Sex and the City,� �Dharma and Greg,� �Saturday Night Live,� and �Everybody Loves Raymond.� It also has been a hot topic on national talk shows including �The Oprah Winfrey Show� and �The View� and featured in top media outlets including �CNN,� The New York Times, Newsweek, Time, The Washington Post, Marie Clarie, People, Entertainment Weekly, and O-Magazine among others. During appearances to promote her engagement in the Off-Broadway production, Calista Flockhart tried unsuccessfully to get David Letterman to say the word �vagina,� but did join with Kathie Lee Gifford in getting the studio audience of �Live with Regis and Kathie Lee� to chant the word.
THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES is raising millions of dollars to stop violence against women and girls.

I did see the show in NYC and rather surprisingly felt it was fantastic. I originally thought it would be decent and a great show for my date, who had seen the original pre-play try-out for the material when she was in college. I had always thought of going and each time changed my mind b/c I felt I was ~probably~ getting hooked on the name alone and that it would probably be as much fun as a baby-shower.
Wow! was I ever blown away at how good it was. The theatre had a good mix of women from young teens to geriatrics and fathers/husbands/boyfriends. (not many men under 23). I was amazed at how so many women together were clearly delighted and happy with the outcome of the show. Hmmm... The material really reached the whole gamut of women that night.
I would say that if anyone understands the power of how some candles, incense, light music, and/or flowers can enhance the evening - even when they may not do anything for you, will understand how this show can really reach a woman. It is written for women, by women, about women but in a way that is enjoyable for men too. I couldn't help think that the whole play was an animated poem. Each story told of a particular feminine trait through a story about a 'vag*na'. How interesting, right? It is almost like the women were opening up the doors of there inner spirit and sharing their innermost intimate feelings. IMHO, it is NOT at all disgusting nor is it performed without taste, (for lack of a better word). Perhaps, some folks from ultra-orthodox cultures may not share my thoughts, but I believe they would be in the minority.
I prompty "spread the word" (pun intended) by telling my buddies to check it out. I give it 10 mooseheads... Check it out if you're in NYC!


"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
Sara Jahan
Ranch Hand

Joined: Apr 20, 2003
Posts: 120
Q) Why is a penis sometimes called a "gentleman"?
A) Because it rises for a lady.
Q) Why is a penis sometimes called a "curtain"?
A) Because it falls after a show.
There were more - unfortunately, i remember just two.
 
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