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[Rated R] Yet Another Redneck Joke

Michael Morris
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Joined: Jan 30, 2002
Posts: 3451
It seems after five years of marriage, Joe Bob and Loretta are having marital problems and decide to seek the advice of a counselor. The counselor, being a wise negotiator, decides to talk to each individually to try to find some common ground. First he talks to Loretta:
"Loretta, can you tell me what it would take to keep you and Joe Bob together?"
"Well, there are a couple of things about him that really piss me off."
"And what would those be?"
"First, he's constantly picking his nose. I don't mind it so much around the house, but he does it in public too and it is very embarassing.
"OK, what else?"
"When we have sex, he never will let me get on top. That would really make it good for me, but he's a total asshole about it."
So the counselor tells Loretta to leave and instruct Joe Bob to come in.
"Joe Bob, if I told you that you could do two simple things that could save your marriage, would you be willing to do them?"
"I reckon so sir, I mean I really love Loretta, she's just a bitch every once in a while."
"Well good. All you have to do is stop picking your nose and every once in a while let her get on top when you have sex."
"Oh, I can't do those two things!"
"Well for heaven's sakes, why not?"
"Because, when my daddy was on his death bed, he said 'Joe Bob, I'm a dyin' and I want you to promise me somethin' and I said yea Daddy what and he said 'Son, always keep your nose clean and never fuck up'"
[ June 06, 2003: Message edited by: Michael Morris ]

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction. - Ernst F. Schumacher
Paul McKenna
Ugly Redneck
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Joined: Jul 08, 2000
Posts: 1006

Commentary From the Sidelines of history
Axel Janssen
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Joined: Jan 08, 2001
Posts: 2164
Randall Twede
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Joined: Oct 21, 2000
Posts: 4351

lol...god...im glad im not THAT stupid!
thank you lord

Visit my download page
basha khan
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Joined: Jan 26, 2002
Posts: 516
Hi MM,
Who is the real REDNECK in ur story?
on my openion,the real REDNECK is Loretta.i'll tell u why i selected Loretta as the real REDNECK.
At first sight on ur story,one may think that Bob's daddy is real REDNECK.but bob's daddy is really created problom.due to daddy,bob and loretta suffered a lot and all problom is made by bob's daddy.it's proved that REDNECK's are not creating probloms.REDNECKs are just innocent infidels who does'nt bothered about how to behave on according to the situations.so bob's daddy is not a REDNECK.bob is also not a REDNECK because bob dont made any mistake,he only followed his dad.loretta was really innocent because she could'nt able to find no solution for the problom.loretta made foolishness by publicly saying his husbent's problom and she could'nt made any solution by herself.she just shouted.
so loretta is pocessing two basic qualities of a REDNECK.innocence and foolishness.so loretta is the real REDNECK in this story.
what 's ur openion?.
Michael Morris
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Joined: Jan 30, 2002
Posts: 3451
Basha, you are truly on the path to becoming a great philosopher and my admiration for you grows with each or your meticulous analyses of these subjects in MD.
As an older one, Granda Michael, I would confer on you some wisdom. Stop and smell the roses. Have a glass of wine. Just laugh at the absurdity of Joe Bob's markedly unphilosophical interpretation of his dying father's request. No one can ever understand the meaning of life without being able to enjoy life, and laughter is the greatest enjoyment.
Donald R. Cossitt
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Joined: Jan 31, 2003
Posts: 401
Adding to confusion:
My daddy told me

You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends; but you cannot pick your friends' nose.

I suppose it would follow you shouldn't have your friends' wife on top or bottom? Maybe just on-the-side

basha khan
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Joined: Jan 26, 2002
Posts: 516
Hi MM,
It was my way of REDNECK joke.everytime u post a REDNECK joke,i'll put some different dimension to it.but it's all jokes.
I agree. Here's the link: http://aspose.com/file-tools
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