OK, I dare anyone to take offense at these!
Guy walks into a bar wearing a large overcoat with a beautiful woman on each arm. Steps up to the bar orders champaigne for the ladies and a beer for himself. The bartender sets up the drinks and says that'll be $40. The man reaches into his left pocket, pulls out a $100 bill hands it over and says keep the change. All of a sudden a midget jumps out of his right pocket spits in his face and knocks his beer over and goes back into his pocket. The bartender says "What the hell was that all about?" The dude says "Well I was walking on the beach and found a lamp, while I was rubbing on it a Genie pops up and says he will grant me three wishes. I say okay, I want a beautiful woman on each arm. Next, every time I reach into my left pocket I want to pull out a $100 bill. Finally, I want a 12" prick and that was the little mother
fucker that just kicked my beer over!"
[ July 24, 2003: Message edited by: Michael Morris ]
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction. - Ernst F. Schumacher