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Need Advice From Indian Ranchers

 
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I have an Indian male friend (F) in the mid-20th working for a US multinational IT company in India for about three years so far. He is a smart and hard working guy and performs excellent at work. Needless to say, he is also kind and reliable. Moreover, he programs Java well.
My friend (F) has an Indian female friend (X) who is in the last year of her college education. And her field is in computer science. My friend (F) really likes; well, I mean loves, her (the person X).
Nonetheless, my friend (F) has not yet expressed his feeling toward her (X). And my friend is uncertain about what she (X) thinks of him (F) in the way beyond just a friend.
I am unable to provide any advice to him because of culture difference. I only know my friend (F) recently invited all his pals and her to his brother's wedding held in their home town and she went. Does it indicate something? What indications should my Indian friend (F) observe to find out if she (X) also thinks of him in "that" way? I welcome good ideas and suggestions. Do not provide casual and lousy ones.
 
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I am unable to provide any advice to him because of culture difference. I only know my friend (F) recently invited all his pals and her to his brother's wedding held in their home town and she went. Does it indicate something?
In Indian culture, inviting a girl to your brother's wedding indicate the intent to continue working for the multinational IT company in India in the capacity of a Java Programmer. Accepting the invitation means that while the invitee is fascinated with the nonpolinomially bounded algorithms, she is zombied by the ancestral pressures to reach her ultimate destiny, -- to fascilitate the influx of newborn Java programmers into the world economy.
Given the inevitability of this outcome, the best thing that you can do is to let F work it out with X without your interventions. But that's just in Indian culture, of course.
 
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shizzle my nizzle, that MOFO(F) need to chill and tell *Y* 'yo bit&$@, u bangin, u wanna get it wit me, i will F#@$ your mama your brotha your sista anyting for you bi#@$'. she should appreciate it
 
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First of all, I must say that it is quite odd that you'd choose "F" for a male and "X" for a female.
secondly, ask F to ask X what she feels about him. If she likes him then alls well ends well. If not three possibilities exist
1. She is disgusted by him and cuts off all communication (F cries for a while, the quickfix for this situation is a lapdance at the local gogo joint)
2. She explains to him that she only thought of him as a friend and nothing more so its better to leave it at that (at this point F feels like ending his life)
3. She explains that she is already engaged to another person in her hometown and she has to marry him (at this point F tries to plot a Hollywood thriller)
 
Daniel Gee
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In India, can a guy be so straightforward and ask a girl: "Do you feel the same as I do"? As I know, my friend (F) hesitates to express anything to her (X) and is not good at figuring out what is in the mind of a female.
He (F) is a very good friend of mine. I have seen the girl's picture. She is pretty and decent looking. I really think two of them will make a happy couple. I want to see something works out soon. But, things seem to be mired in Indian tradition and my friend's shyness.
[ August 29, 2003: Message edited by: Daniel Gee ]
 
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Hi Daniel
It's not that as if India nobody proposes a female/male. Tell him to get over his shyness and propose. It would not be of any use crying later if he finds out she is going out with someone else just because she waited enough for F. X might also like F but if X is not giving hints or giving hints and F and you and we can't comprehend ask F to propose. Think how bad would it feel later to know that X really liked F but because of F's shyness they never got together.
Wishing both of them good luck.
 
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Originally posted by Daniel Gee:
In India, can a guy be so straightforward and ask a girl: "Do you feel the same as I do"? As I know, my friend (F) hesitates to express anything to her (X) and is not good at figuring out what is in the mind of a female.
He (F) is a very good friend of mine. I have seen the girl's picture. She is pretty and decent looking. I really think two of them will make a happy couple. I want to see something works out soon. But, things seem to be mired in Indian tradition and my friend's shyness.
[ August 29, 2003: Message edited by: Daniel Gee ]



I am from a very small town in India but I can say that even several girls propose to the boys now a days even in smaller towns, due to the domination of western culture you will not find to much difference between the west or east now a days, I think that guy F is shy just because of his nature not because of the culture to which he belongs, my suggestion to that guy F is that he should straight away propose to that girl X, if he will use any mediator then the things will be very different what he might have thought.
 
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For FuX's ( ) sake, ask him to be bold and honest for once!
 
Anonymous
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Women are meant to be used not to be prayed to. I thought it is obvious to Indian people.
 
Anupam Sinha
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Originally posted by <george jr.>:
Women are meant to be used not to be prayed to. I thought it is obvious to Indian people.


What makes you think so that its so very obvious.
 
Daniel Gee
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Thank you for those good advices. I am not going to be a mediator. I will be nagging my friend to make a decisive move. I simply do not want to push my friend to the wrong direction because I do not understand the culture.
My friend is very honest. He is not bold because he is very considerate of others.
 
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tell Mr F to give flowers or anything like that continousely.and let her feel 'what is wrong with him?'.
-----
basha
 
Anonymous
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Originally posted by Daniel Gee:
I simply do not want to push my friend to the wrong direction because I do not understand the culture..


why--??if he ur friend and u have so many adjectives to describe him so that means u know him well also his culture. There is not much cultural diff between indian youth and the youth in ur country. all see mtv and has access to internet.
may i ask u what u mean by wrong direction.

[QB]My friend is very honest. He is not bold because he is very considerate of others[/QB/


So u are saying if a person is considerate to others means he is not bold
if ur friend (F) is smart enough {bold} to invite x to his house , then he should be smart enough to tell her his feelings.
 
Anonymous
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Originally posted by basha khan:
tell Mr F to give flowers or anything like that continousely.and let her feel 'what is wrong with him?'.
-----
basha


if someone is giving all these to me i wont say what is wrong with him instead i will say what is good with him.
flowers+gift certificates+ chocalates+ ....
 
Daniel Gee
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It would be nice if Indian female rancher could kindly spare time and give some suggestions. After all, I think men do not understand women well. Only women understand women.
 
Anonymous
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geee...
if my pshychology is rt that indian friend(f) is nothing but you.
aw if ur smart java programmer has an email account write a mail to her vvery casual. see what her reply...then reply again wait for her reply..then reply again....that way he can study her and also ask her wat her future plans. some girls want to settle their career frst b4 marriage.
if she has a cell phone call her. by these ways he can build up a friendship. then he can purpose her. If he is not very close to x and if he is go and purpose her she may say"no" but he can try....
 
Daniel Gee
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I am not my friend (F). I am an American.
I do not know if F could communicate with X via e-mails. I only know F will be able to go back to his home town on weekend from now on. Of course, F will drop by to see X when F is back home.
I already have a good idea what to say to F based on several good advices I have received so far.
 
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Originally posted by Daniel Gee:
I have an Indian male friend (F) in the mid-20th working for a US multinational IT company in India for about three years so far. He is a smart and hard working guy and performs excellent at work. Needless to say, he is also kind and reliable. Moreover, he programs Java well.
My friend (F) has an Indian female friend (X) who is in the last year of her college education. And her field is in computer science. My friend (F) really likes; well, I mean loves, her (the person X).
Nonetheless, my friend (F) has not yet expressed his feeling toward her (X). And my friend is uncertain about what she (X) thinks of him (F) in the way beyond just a friend.
I am unable to provide any advice to him because of culture difference. I only know my friend (F) recently invited all his pals and her to his brother's wedding held in their home town and she went. Does it indicate something? What indications should my Indian friend (F) observe to find out if she (X) also thinks of him in "that" way? I welcome good ideas and suggestions. Do not provide casual and lousy ones.


Your Indian male friend is in his mid-20th, huh? Hmmm, given that he has ostensibly mastered the art of temporal displacement (time travel), it may be possible for him to travel into the future, see if the prospective female is already married to him, and then return and propose in the present.

Last time I checked, Indians occupy the same genus and species as other Caucasoids, that being Homo Sapien Sapien, and thus tend to function in a similar fashion. Due to this uncanny revelation, I believe the best course of action for F with X can be defined by a typical multilayered feed-forward neural network, in which X becames the input and the desired outcome (marriage) the output. Of course, the choices of F and X for the two subjects in question seems obvious, given that the activation function will be F(X) = (Some Sigmoidal transfer function) + (Some Combination function of the weighted input X).
[ August 31, 2003: Message edited by: Tarun Sukhani ]
 
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Did you ask advice?
We are best in giving advice on any topic.
So here problem is same old problem.
Boy is in love with a girl and does not know the way to know about girl's feeling.
Firts of all he should spend plenty of time with her [love is nothing but the time you waste together ]
But it seems that he cant spend too much time as he is in SW industry and he is onsite.
hmmmm... problem is big.
But still I have advice and this advice is beyond all natinality, races, color, religion , etc ...
He has to ask her :-|
and then read the Ugly redneck's post for after effects.
PS: I think none of the Indians here have proposed anyone but advice, we can always give.
 
Daniel Gee
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Ladies and Gentlemen: Shortly after I posted this thread, my friend (F) finally gathered enough courage to express his feeling toward that very pretty and nice girl in his home town (of course, I pressed my friend (F) very hard). I think the timing was sometime in October 2003. It turned out that the girl had waited for my friend (F) to make a move! Needless to say, both of them were very thankful for my help.

The girl graduated from college this year.

Last week, I received an invitation card (by e-mail) for their wedding to be held this coming weekend. The reception starts on the 17th. Unfortunately, I am unable to attend the wedding because I am half a globe away and busy working.

Thanks, everybody. People at the JavaRanch have done a good job in providing all kinds of advices, including making a dream come true.
 
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Congratulations to F and X !!!
 
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I wish similar thing would have happened to me

Anybody there to give me a hug?

Regards,
Maulin
[ October 11, 2004: Message edited by: Maulin Vasavada ]
 
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Damn, I remember the university last year.
I know (well I saw to be more specific) the sweetest girl that I have ever seen.
(beautifull + hot + cute + sexy + put whatever you want here) ^ N
I never found the courage to talk to her...
the result ........
I graduated without talking to her and with TONS of heartaces.
 
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Originally posted by John Todd:
Damn, I remember the university last year.
I know (well I saw to be more specific) the sweetest girl that I have ever seen.
(beautifull + hot + cute + sexy + put whatever you want here) ^ N
I never found the courage to talk to her...
the result ........
I graduated without talking to her and with TONS of heartaces.



That is sad !
 
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