A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their order. The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a Coke," and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later, the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40, please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come to the restaurant again, and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a Coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," the man says. "Same for me," says the ostrich. A short time later, the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62." Once again, the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," the man says, "several years ago, I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I could just put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" the waitress says. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," the man says.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?" The man sighs and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
This Genii gets around. Evidently he was passing a tavern one night, and ran into a drunk sitting on the pavement outside the establishment. He offered him the same deal - two wishes. The drunk pondered carefully, as drunks are wont to do, and finally came up with the perfect wish. "I would like a mug that will never break, and will always be full of the best, most delicious beer ever brewed!" POOF! The mug appeared in the drunk's hands. He sniffed it, and took a taste. It was indeed the best beer he'd ever drank! With a huge grin, he tossed it off in a single draught, and there it was, full again! He repeatedly this gleefully several times, in fact quite forgetting the Genii, who was beginning to get a bit impatient. "Ahem. Sir. You'll still be getting one more wish. And what will that be?" Without hesitation, the drunk looked him straight in the eye and said, "Why, I'll have another one of these!" Joe