wood burning stoves*
The moose likes Meaningless Drivel and the fly likes Random acts of kindness Big Moose Saloon
  Search | Java FAQ | Recent Topics | Flagged Topics | Hot Topics | Zero Replies
Register / Login


Win a copy of OCM Java EE 6 Enterprise Architect Exam Guide this week in the OCMJEA forum!
JavaRanch » Java Forums » Other » Meaningless Drivel
Bookmark "Random acts of kindness" Watch "Random acts of kindness" New topic
Author

Random acts of kindness

Nanhesru Ningyake
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 29, 2000
Posts: 452
Hey I impulsively indulged in one today. I was visiting this fancy mall in Bangalore called 'The Forum' - with a distinctly Western ambience. There was this aged woman who had apparently never been on an escalator before, and she just stood there - scared to step onto it. I walked over, coaxed her to hold on to the moving handrail, and holding her other hand, gently got her to take that first step - and the rest was easy. She said thanks when she got off, and then I went back to join my family.

It felt good - but still weird. What made me do it?

Has anyone had a similar experience, where you impulsively went out of your way to help someone?
John Dunn
slicker
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 30, 2003
Posts: 1108
If by chance you haven't and really wanna feel that good ol' feeling, try this


"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
Ernest Friedman-Hill
author and iconoclast
Marshal

Joined: Jul 08, 2003
Posts: 24183
    
  34

I like to return things that people drop. If you pay attention, you'll see people lose things all the time. Little things, mostly: baby toys, hair brushes, pagers. Pick it up, say "Excuse me, I believe you dropped this," smile and go back to your business. You will have saved someone else a moment of worry or puzzlement, or an hour of hassle, or sometimes some real money.


[Jess in Action][AskingGoodQuestions]
Joe King
Ranch Hand

Joined: Sep 02, 2003
Posts: 820
Helping someone out does give a good feeling - even giving someone directions gives me a small buzz. Maybe "being nice" could be the new recreational drug - we could all go out and spend our free time helping people out and being nice...

Yo, man, I'm so like, totally, chilled out dude on this "nice". Its, like, rad, man....
Helen Thomas
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 13, 2004
Posts: 1759
Originally posted by Joe King:
Helping someone out does give a good feeling - even giving someone directions gives me a small buzz. Maybe "being nice" could be the new recreational drug - we could all go out and spend our free time helping people out and being nice...

Yo, man, I'm so like, totally, chilled out dude on this "nice". Its, like, rad, man....


Watched a D-Day film in colour last night. One GI said of the English -
They give the worst directions imaginable finally ending with "You cannot miss it!".

Some things don't change!


Le Cafe Mouse - Helen's musings on the web - Java Skills and Thrills
"God who creates and is nature is very difficult to understand, but he is not arbitrary or malicious." OR "God does not play dice." - Einstein
Joe King
Ranch Hand

Joined: Sep 02, 2003
Posts: 820
Originally posted by Helen Thomas:


Watched a D-Day film in colour last night. One GI said of the English -
They give the worst directions imaginable finally ending with "You cannot miss it!".

Some things don't change!


Directions is one of those areas in which many humorous miscommunications can happen between Americans and Britons. I know someone who had the following conversation with an American tourist:

American: "Excuse me, how do I get to Leicester Square?"
Briton: "Its that way"(points).
American: "How many blocks is that?"
Briton: "What?"
American: "I said, how many blocks is that?"
Briton: "We don't have blocks in this country."
American: "What?"
Briton: "I said, we don't have blocks in this country - our towns aren't made in grids".
American: "Why the hell not?! OK, how long will it take us to get there?"
Briton: "Only 5 mins."
American: "Pah, you English always say things will only take 5 mins, but its always longer!".

When you start adding in things like the whole pavement/sidewalk confusion, then directions get complicated. Probably especially so because English roads are bendy and have odd names.

The directions situation before D-Day was probably complicated by the fact that the government removed all the road signs in the south of England in case the Germans invaded - we didn't want to give them any hints about which way to go
[ June 07, 2004: Message edited by: Joe King ]
John Smith
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 08, 2001
Posts: 2937
HT: Watched a D-Day film in colour last night. One GI said of the English - They give the worst directions imaginable finally ending with "You cannot miss it!".

Colour? Why do you British have to be so pompous as to insert extra letters into the words of our language?
Steve Wink
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 13, 2002
Posts: 223
Originally posted by Joe King:


Directions is one of those areas in which many humorous miscommunications can happen between Americans and Britons. I know someone who had the following conversation with an American tourist:

American: "Excuse me, how do I get to Leicester Square?"
Briton: "Its that way"(points).
American: "How many blocks is that?"
Briton: "What?"
American: "I said, how many blocks is that?"
Briton: "We don't have blocks in this country."
American: "What?"
Briton: "I said, we don't have blocks in this country - our towns aren't made in grids".
American: "Why the hell not?! OK, how long will it take us to get there?"
Briton: "Only 5 mins."
American: "Pah, you English always say things will only take 5 mins, but its always longer!".

When you start adding in things like the whole pavement/sidewalk confusion, then directions get complicated. Probably especially so because English roads are bendy and have odd names.

The directions situation before D-Day was probably complicated by the fact that the government removed all the road signs in the south of England in case the Germans invaded - we didn't want to give them any hints about which way to go

[ June 07, 2004: Message edited by: Joe King ]


Plus we don't know where Lye-cester Square is. Unless its near Lester Square...
Helen Thomas
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 13, 2004
Posts: 1759
Originally posted by Eugene Kononov:
HT: Watched a D-Day film in colour last night. One GI said of the English - They give the worst directions imaginable finally ending with "You cannot miss it!".

Colour? Why do you British have to be so pompous as to insert extra letters into the words of our language?


Isn't it oh so odious to remove letters ?

French : couleur

Brits ( after a bad hair wig powdering sess ) : colour

US ( a morass of cultures and going by ear to get by ) : color

Heard in Afghanistan from an American soldier hailing from California : ahman pronounced as in salmon

Meaning almond .

Perhaps the soldier thought Al Mond would have caused another outbreak of war.
Joe King
Ranch Hand

Joined: Sep 02, 2003
Posts: 820
Originally posted by Steve Wink:


Plus we don't know where Lye-cester Square is. Unless its near Lester Square...


I heard about someone who was asked by a Japanese tourist for directs to "Loogerborrooger". It took them ages to realise that the tourist meant Loughborough.
Helen Thomas
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 13, 2004
Posts: 1759
Also from an Afganistan airport :

No accompanists beyond this point.

No handbags.
No gasses.
No passions.

After the reference to an almond as an ahman who can blame the Afghanis.

Did you know the current and last Nawabs of Pataudi (of cricketing fame)'s ancestors were from Afghan ? Recently saw the current Nawab's son in a Hindi movie thought he had great potential as a comic actor. Or has ?

Kind of reminded me of Shaun of the Dead but with dancers instead of zombies. i.e bits you'd like to FFWD if you are not too keen on the music.

Confession time : I did once help an old lady up an escalator but didn't realise extent of her fear or arthritic knees and the lady took a tumble all the way from the top to the bottom.
Imagine falling down an escalator moving upwards.

There was a terrible silence as she lay on the bottom, half on and half off. Luckily a male hunk of a nurse happened by and after checking her over and making sure she was OK , cuddled and comforted her until she was giggling like a schoolgirl. I think she, my Aunt aged 70 then , has forgiven me as we went on our way 20 minutes later. I doubt she would have if the nurse hadn't happened by.

I think there is a moral in this retelling. YOu either have it or you don't.
[ June 07, 2004: Message edited by: Helen Thomas ]
Steve Wink
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 13, 2002
Posts: 223
Originally posted by Joe King:


I heard about someone who was asked by a Japanese tourist for directs to "Loogerborrooger". It took them ages to realise that the tourist meant Loughborough.


Ah, I love having a non-phonetic and inconsistent language...
Jim Yingst
Wanderer
Sheriff

Joined: Jan 30, 2000
Posts: 18671
After the reference to an almond as an ahman who can blame the Afghanis.

Those would be Afghans. An afghani is a unit of currency.

Did you know the current and last Nawabs of Pataudi (of cricketing fame)'s ancestors were from Afghan ?

That would be Afghanistan. As long as we're trying to be accurate.


"I'm not back." - Bill Harding, Twister
Helen Thomas
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 13, 2004
Posts: 1759
Er, on second thoughts, an Afghan is a very handsome breed of dog.
You are right about the place, Afghanistan not Afghan, Jim.
But I stand by Afghani ( as in Pakistani i.e. from Pakistan)
Or perhaps that should be Afghanistani and not Afghani
as Afghani could just about measure up with the term Paki.

I do apologise. Shan't do it again.

Unless referring to an afghani as a unit of currency - Not something most people in the West are concerned about.
Jason Menard
Sheriff

Joined: Nov 09, 2000
Posts: 6450
I don't mind helping out strangers and do it pretty often, but you have to be a little careful sometimes. I was at my local PetsMart buying some food for my critters when this little kid walks up to the cashier, says he's lost and asks if she'll help him find his mother. Isn't this what parents tell kids they're supposed to do when they're lost in a store? Anyway, inexplicably the cashier tells him "I think she just left", and the kid walks out of the store. Huh? How would she know?

So I finish paying, walk outside into the busy parking lot, and there's this kid wandering around looking lost. I'd always thought that little kids running around busy parking lots was a generally bad idea, so I tell him to follow me back into the store and we'll see if they can't find his mother for him, all the while trying to be very careful so people don't think I'm some perv walking off with their kid. So the kid follows me back to the same cashier and I tell her to get on the loudspeaker this time and try to find this kid's parent.

Just about that time his mother walks up and all's well. So I'm walking out of the store and they're coming out the store just a bit behind me when I hear the mother asking the kid, in a hushed accusatory tone as if something bad had just happened, "What did that man say to you?" :roll:

It left me thinking that maybe I should have just left the kid wandering around the parking lot. My point is that sometimes you just have to watch out when interacting with strangers, who may or may not actually appreciate your help.
Gail Mikels
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 07, 2001
Posts: 634
I know that in the "old days" kids were told to go to a store employee or mall security guard if they were lost. Now, I've heard that we're supposed to tell our kids that if they get lost, go to a WOMAN. Kinda sad. And still, definitley not a sure thing.

On a nicer note... I try to do nice things for strangers when possible, but when I find cash, it's too hard to find the owner. But one day, my daughter & I were at a little cafe in a small mountain town that had a gift store area in the front. I found a $10 bill on the floor, but I remembered that there were 3 kids eating with their grandparents, and while they were waiting for their food, they had gone to the gift shop. I went back to the table & asked if any of the kids had lost money, and they immediately told me the grandson had lost $10. They thanked me & we left. We were sitting in the car getting ready to leave when the grandpa came running out, waving to me. He had bought a little stuffed Beanie-Baby to give me, as a thank-you! It probably cost more than the $10. "Dueling Good Deeds"!


Gail Mikels
Helen Thomas
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 13, 2004
Posts: 1759
The moral of the story (ies ) should be that the store should have a procedure for keeping the child and trying to page the child's parents / keepers and if they don't shoppers should complain to the store managers. Hopefully it should be in an open area like Stewards and stewardesses do.

Escalators should have lifts by them ; that's elevators to those further west in the hemisphere - Most do - Use them when in doubt.

Lost property - people ask for goods they miss at Lost Property. Better than risking a black eye from a suspicious spouse or parent.

It's kinder in the long run, IMHO. Leave the rest to have-a-go Heroes, hopefully they'd carry it off.

And if you really need to get the adrenalin flowing by helping someone - Volunteer. There should be some training provided.
[ June 07, 2004: Message edited by: Helen Thomas ]
John Dunn
slicker
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 30, 2003
Posts: 1108
JK: Helping someone out does give a good feeling - even giving someone directions gives me a small buzz. Maybe "being nice" could be the new recreational drug - we could all go out and spend our free time helping people out and being nice...

Wow, all this talk of doing nice things and I haven't even gotten $1 buck donated to my 6mile swim for Cancer research. (Actions speak louder than words... )

Hmmm...
Richard Hawkes
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 28, 2003
Posts: 1340
What about the mods? Do you feel a warm glow of satisfaction after a day of moderating all this noise
soumya ravindranath
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 26, 2001
Posts: 300
Originally posted by Nanhesru Ningyake:
Hey I impulsively indulged in one today. I was visiting this fancy mall in Bangalore called 'The Forum' - with a distinctly Western ambience. There was this aged woman who had apparently never been on an escalator


That was you !!?

Visiting this site after about 2 years (or more ?)
Mohanlal Karamchand
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 14, 2003
Posts: 189
a fly was banging his head against the windowpane. he wanted out. i opened the window and helped him escape. ever since i been walking aroung bathed in a warm glow of satisfaction. the silly smirk you see on me face is the result of this feeling.
[ July 24, 2004: Message edited by: Mohanlal Karamchand ]
Mohanlal Karamchand
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 14, 2003
Posts: 189
in hindsight i shouldn't have helped that ungrateful b*****d escape. he never said thanks.
Nanhesru Ningyake
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 29, 2000
Posts: 452
>That was you !!?

Bonjour madame - comment �ava! Yes it eez indeed mee. I do vizeet onze in a while. Haven't seen you around though! Howz life treating ya. Me? I'm now in a software sweatshop in Bangalore. It's like a public-sector organization - masses of people - under-utilized talent - deeply hierarchical in structure... but with the 21st century touch: we suck up to American companies
[ July 24, 2004: Message edited by: Nanhesru Ningyake ]
soumya ravindranath
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 26, 2001
Posts: 300
Hey !

i thought u would freak out by my remark ;-) Hmm.. well, i was in Bangalore on that day but in Forum the next. So didn't see ya to be frank

Interestingly, i had a great urge to do the same with two girls on the day i was there, but had to run after my toddler before the cookie man caught hold of him or vice versa.

In the meanwhile, i have a doubt about acts of kindness. I wanted to so badly wink at someone on the platform just before the train left the station (in India!), i bet that person would have felt so good for the rest of his day. Would that be really a kind act ?

waiting to get back to heaven even if it means all the time.

- soumya.

PS : Am just catching up with what happened while i was sleeping.
Nanhesru Ningyake
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 29, 2000
Posts: 452
> i thought u would freak out by my remark
The thought of physically meeting someone from the ranch is scary Anyway, the next time look out for me - I would have 'NN' emblazoned on the front - aqua in color, you know, me being an Aquarian.

> i bet that person would have felt so good for the rest of his day.
Hmm that would actually hurt. He would be thinking, here's this damsel winking at me, and going away for ever, sigh. And then, right there on the railway platform, he'd start singing out loud Michael Jackson's song - 'She's Out of My Life', dramatically pointing at the departing train...

>waiting to get back to heaven
You mean Kerala?
[ July 25, 2004: Message edited by: Nanhesru Ningyake ]
Jim Yingst
Wanderer
Sheriff

Joined: Jan 30, 2000
Posts: 18671
The thought of physically meeting someone from the ranch is scary

I know what you mean.
soumya ravindranath
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 26, 2001
Posts: 300
>> i thought u would freak out by my remark
> The thought of physically meeting someone from the ranch is scary


I thought i meant that too

Aquarian ?! had to be. Hmm... my best friend, he too is kool.

> damsel winking at me, and going away for ever, sigh. And then, right there on the railway platform, he'd start singing out loud Michael ...



> You mean Kerala?

God wouldn't keep me
He would rather have me hanging out in Forums and B-Centrals looking out for benevolent people helping out old ladies go up the stairs ...

Coming back to acts of kindness, i might be the only one who got scoldings from public for helping poor people There are these couples with kids who speak only non-local languages and say they came all the way from their hometown (why?!) and now have no money to return. One such time i fished out a ten Rupee note (7 years ago) and handed over. There was sudden commotion around me - "People like you spoil them ..." etc. etc. I ran. This time around when i saw similar people, i remembered to run.
[ July 26, 2004: Message edited by: soumya ravindranath ]
Nanhesru Ningyake
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 29, 2000
Posts: 452
>SR: I thought i meant that too
That was actually bait for Jim

>SR: He would rather have me hanging out in Forums and B-Centrals looking out for benevolent people helping out old ladies go up the stairs ...
Hehe - you're not much of a good influence in heaven eh?

>JY: I know what you mean
Hey Jim, your case was an exception. After me met, I performed an act of kindness, but it left me feeling exposed
Sahir Shah
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 05, 2000
Posts: 158
Gosh! Thinku Mama is back.


....
Manku Thimma
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 18, 2001
Posts: 108
Indeed
Mapraputa Is
Leverager of our synergies
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 26, 2000
Posts: 10065
My eyes are full of tears...


Uncontrolled vocabularies
"I try my best to make *all* my posts nice, even when I feel upset" -- Philippe Maquet
soumya ravindranath
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 26, 2001
Posts: 300
> Indeed

Are you showing kindness only to SS or to all of us
[ July 29, 2004: Message edited by: soumya ravindranath ]
Manku Thimma
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 18, 2001
Posts: 108
My kindness (and love) is universal, mone

My inspiration is Lord Krishna, who in the Bhagavad Gita (Chapter 6, Verse 9) describes the qualities of a balanced personality as (among other things), one who regards with equanimity everyone - well-wishers, friends, foes, the indifferent, the impartial, the envious, the righteous men, and even sinners
soumya ravindranath
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 26, 2001
Posts: 300
> ... mone
mone ??

> .... even sinners

really ?! You must look like a glowworm then
Sahir Shah
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 05, 2000
Posts: 158
Originally posted by soumya ravindranath:
mone ??


He's speaking Swahili again.
soumya ravindranath
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 26, 2001
Posts: 300
> He's speaking Swahili again.

Thanks for the clue Sahir; MK, can i join your sweatshop and learn some Swahili, am planning to spread my word of peace and kindness in Africa soon

Mark Twain says (among other things) that every human being is selfish, there is no one in this world who is selfless, every action of ours stems from the desire to make us happy in some way. Is that true, do we go so much out of our way and send people upstairs just to make ourselves happy ?

I got an icecream after lunch, was coming out of the restaurant and this little beggar girl looked at it all eyes, i just handed it to her and walked away. 3 months since it happened, never thought about it after that. (where is the angel smiley ?) (Am trying hard, but nothing beats the escalator story, I should probably move out and write my blog somewhere else... :roll: )
[ July 31, 2004: Message edited by: soumya ravindranath ]
R K Singh
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 15, 2001
Posts: 5371
Originally posted by soumya ravindranath:
Is that true, do we go so much out of our way and send people upstairs just to make ourselves happy ?

....i just handed it to her and walked away. 3 months since it happened, never thought about it after that.


By my logic, we can go to any way, any level to make ourself happy :roll:


"Thanks to Indian media who has over the period of time swiped out intellectual taste from mass Indian population." - Chetan Parekh
Manku Thimma
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 18, 2001
Posts: 108
> can i join your sweatshop and learn some Swahili
Absolutely - I assume you want to selflessly volunteer?

> do we go so much out of our way and send people upstairs just to make ourselves happy ?
That's the weird part - 'To make myself happy' was not the outer motivation - there was even a part of me feeling self-conscious and questioning me 'what are you doing?' and reminding me that my wife was waiting at the foodcourt, presumably puzzled at my impulsive egress, and that so many people are looking at me trying to coax that woman down the escalator. So this was just an inner drive - selfless on the surface, but perhaps with it's own inner agenda for making me feel good eventually

> this little beggar girl
It has become common in Bangalore for women beggars carrying a baby in their arms, approaching vehicles stopped at traffic lights. It melts my heart when I see the baby's face, so innocent, so unaware of it's surroundings and circumstances... My dilemma is whether to give alms to these women - where would the money go? are they just using somebody's baby as a prop? I pray to God to sustain these babies, for He brought them into this world.
[ August 01, 2004: Message edited by: Manku Thimma ]
sunitha reghu
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 12, 2002
Posts: 937
My dilemma is whether to give alms to these women - where would the money go? are they just using somebody's baby as a prop?

These women can always work. Babies can be their babies or can be somebody else�s. But one thing it�s sure these ladies are not caring for those kid�s feelings. If these women don�t have money to feed the babies they should hand over to some adoption agencies or orphanage. We don�t know weather ice cream went to baby�s mouth or woman�s mouth.

originally posted by Manku Thimma:
> this little beggar girl
It has become common in Bangalore for women beggars carrying a baby in their arms, approaching vehicles stopped at traffic lights. It melts my heart when I see the baby's face, so innocent, so unaware of it's surroundings and circumstances... My dilemma is whether to give alms to these women - where would the money go? are they just using somebody's baby as a prop? I pray to God to sustain these babies, for He brought them into this world.

[ August 01, 2004: Message edited by: Manku Thimma ][/QB]
soumya ravindranath
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 26, 2001
Posts: 300
> We don�t know whether ice cream went to baby�s mouth or woman�s mouth.

Who gave icecreams to babies ?! It's bad for them
[ August 02, 2004: Message edited by: soumya ravindranath ]
 
wood burning stoves
 
subject: Random acts of kindness