aspose file tools*
The moose likes Meaningless Drivel and the fly likes Let's spin a yarn Big Moose Saloon
  Search | Java FAQ | Recent Topics | Flagged Topics | Hot Topics | Zero Replies
Register / Login


Win a copy of Soft Skills this week in the Jobs Discussion forum!
JavaRanch » Java Forums » Other » Meaningless Drivel
Bookmark "Let Watch "Let New topic
Author

Let's spin a yarn

Bacon
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 14, 2004
Posts: 305
Rules: No rules other than the ones on this BB.

Here's the first line of the story.

It was a dark and stormy night...
Helen Thomas
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 13, 2004
Posts: 1759
but the group looked forward to a fortnight of blazing 117 deg F hot weather and school had just broken for the summer holidays.
[ July 22, 2004: Message edited by: Helen Thomas ]

Le Cafe Mouse - Helen's musings on the web - Java Skills and Thrills
"God who creates and is nature is very difficult to understand, but he is not arbitrary or malicious." OR "God does not play dice." - Einstein
fred rosenberger
lowercase baba
Bartender

Joined: Oct 02, 2003
Posts: 11494
    
  16

Tom was eager to go home and see his dog again.


There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors
Joyce Lee
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 11, 2003
Posts: 1392
On the way home, he met his new neighbour Sally.
Ashok Mash
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 13, 2000
Posts: 1936
Sally looked stressed but she was all dressed up.


[ flickr ]
Dean Young
Greenhorn

Joined: May 18, 2004
Posts: 5
Tom's rabid dog rounded the corner and glared at Sally.
Max Habibi
town drunk
( and author)
Sheriff

Joined: Jun 27, 2002
Posts: 4118
Just then, Sally's dog rounded the corner.


Java Regular Expressions
Helen Thomas
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 13, 2004
Posts: 1759
None of them recognised each other and hurried on, avoiding the rabid dog which, luckily, Tom didn't recognise as his own.
Mark Spritzler
ranger
Sheriff

Joined: Feb 05, 2001
Posts: 17260
    
    6

Then Tom's alarm clock screamed, "HEY TOM, WAKE UP!" And Tom new it was his re-occuring dog dream.


Perfect World Programming, LLC - Two Laptop Bag - Tube Organizer
How to Ask Questions the Smart Way FAQ
Helen Thomas
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 13, 2004
Posts: 1759
It was a dark and stormy night...

Bacon
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 14, 2004
Posts: 305
A shot rang out...
Dean Young
Greenhorn

Joined: May 18, 2004
Posts: 5
Tom awoke from his recurring dream only to realize that the nightmare was just beginning. He had never seen a thunderstorm of this magnitude, at least not before the comet had struck.
Max Habibi
town drunk
( and author)
Sheriff

Joined: Jun 27, 2002
Posts: 4118
He ran his hands through his eyes, and began the hour long process of releasing.
Jessica Sant
Sheriff

Joined: Oct 17, 2001
Posts: 4313

Unfortunately for Tom, he forgot to close the door to his meditation room and his cat came in, insisting on being fed.
Bacon
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 14, 2004
Posts: 305
Tom's eyes were killing him from running his hands through them.
Joyce Lee
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 11, 2003
Posts: 1392
Opened up the kitchen cabinet. "Oh shoot!" he groaned. He had forgotten to replenish Jerry's cat food.
[ July 22, 2004: Message edited by: Joyce Lee ]
Dean Young
Greenhorn

Joined: May 18, 2004
Posts: 5
He chuckled to himself when he realized the irony in naming his cat Jerry.
Helen Thomas
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 13, 2004
Posts: 1759
Just then he spotted a mouse caught in the rat trap. The mouse was dead already and that would have to do for Jerry's dinner. Sally's parakeet mysteriously disappeared the day following the last time he had forgotten to buy the cat food. Wisely, Tom kept his suspicions to himself.
Bacon
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 14, 2004
Posts: 305
A woman screamed...
Gregg Bolinger
GenRocket Founder
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 11, 2001
Posts: 15300
    
    6

"Shut up Mom!", Tom yelled. "It's just a dead mouse."

Tom always got strange looks from people when he told them he was 41 and lived at home with his mom and a cat.


GenRocket - Experts at Building Test Data
Mark Fletcher
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 08, 2001
Posts: 897
His mom smelled of boiled cabbage, and she didnt get many visitors.


Mark Fletcher - http://www.markfletcher.org/blog
I had some Java certs, but they're too old now...
Max Habibi
town drunk
( and author)
Sheriff

Joined: Jun 27, 2002
Posts: 4118
But then, after the Iquana Wars, who didn't?
Damien Howard
Ranch Hand

Joined: Apr 01, 2003
Posts: 456
Tom opened the door to his spacious 250 square foot apartment cueing Lawrence to squeeze the trigger killing Tom and ending the life of another government appointed oppressor(sp?). Long live the rebellion.
Eric Pascarello
author
Rancher

Joined: Nov 08, 2001
Posts: 15376
    
    6
Tom realized he was naked.
Satish Avadhanam
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 12, 2003
Posts: 697
Originally posted by Eric Pascarello:
Tom realized he was naked.


Realizing that, he ran into bedroom to get dressed where he saw...
[ July 22, 2004: Message edited by: Satish Avadhanam ]
Eric Pascarello
author
Rancher

Joined: Nov 08, 2001
Posts: 15376
    
    6
a big red thong with ...
Anonymous
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Posts: 18944
Originally posted by Eric Pascarello:
a big red thong with ...


... gaping holes in it. The hungry cat had chewed on it ...
Richard Hawkes
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 28, 2003
Posts: 1340
at least he assumed. That was a cat furball in the crotch, right? Then he remembered he was dead and fell over, spilling his brains and feeding the cat at the same time.
Eric Pascarello
author
Rancher

Joined: Nov 08, 2001
Posts: 15376
    
    6
Tom then woke up from his dream realizing there are really sick people in this world that like killing people and animals off for no reason.
Richard Hawkes
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 28, 2003
Posts: 1340
However, having just recently woken up into another dream he got the distinct feeling he was probably still asleep. In order to test this theory ...
Helen Thomas
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 13, 2004
Posts: 1759
Tom and his mom decided to go to Picnic Island for the day. They packed a picnic lunch and Jerry in his cat basket and climbed into their rowing boat moored on the beach. They noticed a long thin funnel of smoke over the horizon where Picnic Island was but decided a party had started grilling sardines early.
Richard Hawkes
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 28, 2003
Posts: 1340
Meanwhile on Picnic Island, Ranger Bill Longhorn checked the remaining rounds in his rifle. The attack had been swift and devastating. Picnic baskets lay broken all around, their contents -- chewed and nibbled -- littered the hillside. The dull, low paced thudding grew louder and he clutched his rifle closer waiting for the next pass. Yogizilla swung into view from around the hill.
Joyce Lee
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 11, 2003
Posts: 1392
Still oblivious to the situation on Picnic Island, they were rowing hard, eager to reach the island fast. Tom was in such a good mood that he started to sing:
--
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.
---
Eric Pascarello
author
Rancher

Joined: Nov 08, 2001
Posts: 15376
    
    6
The row boat developed a leak in the bottom of the boat and Tom's mom took off her.....
Mark Fletcher
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 08, 2001
Posts: 897
Thong, the Austrailian kind, and patched the hole in the boat. But it was all for nothing as Yogizilla had just plucked the boat out of the water and was now peering hungrily at Tom, his mom and her thong.
Bacon
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 14, 2004
Posts: 305
Jerry the cat snarled vicously and jumped on Yogizilla's head, clawing at his eyes...
Helen Thomas
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 13, 2004
Posts: 1759
Blinded, Yogizilla, swung round still clutching the boat and with Jerry
catclawing his eyes out.He stumbled on land, Picnic Island, and the boat and it's occupants spilled on to the beach.
Jeroen Wenting
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 12, 2000
Posts: 5093
Thunder rang out from the smokefilled but otherwise clear sky.
Startled, Tom woke up to see his mother standing over the cat's mutilated body with a smoking shotgun.


42
Joyce Lee
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 11, 2003
Posts: 1392
"NO! NO! This must be a dream. My Beloved Jerry!" Tom shouted in anguish. "Tommy, wake up!" Then he felt someone shaking his body, urging hime to wake up.
[ July 23, 2004: Message edited by: Joyce Lee ]
Mark Fletcher
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 08, 2001
Posts: 897
It was all just a dream. OR WAS IT?

No, it was a waking nightmare, for Tom was still on Picnic island. Over by the firepit were the remains of cat-shish-kebab. Poor Jerry. His mother was standing over him, the faint smell of cabbage wafting down to him. A shotgun was cradled in her arms...
 
I agree. Here's the link: http://aspose.com/file-tools
 
subject: Let's spin a yarn