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Cheating at chess, how?

 
Gerald Davis
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One of my work colleagues, the smart is an intellectual or whatever you call it. He is into chess, him say he's the bees knees at chess and can beat me hands down. He is probably correct because I don't play chess that much and I don't intend to. I want to beat him, and I will. I ganna show him a different kind of intelligences, the kind that can outwit those who have more cognitive skills.

I am ganna find a way to beat him, I am ganna cheat but as yet, I don't know how to, but he is not ganna suspect a thing until I reveal to him how a did it.

Any ideas of how I could cheat?
 
Stan James
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Stand up and yell "How did that elephant get in that room!" and move the pieces about while he's looking for an elephant.
 
Bert Bates
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Well it's tough to cheat, but there are a few tricks:

- study an unusual opening that has a trap built in - he might fall into the trap

- play speed chess, and try to make the situation complicated when he's short on time

- play battlement chess... start with just the pawns on the board, your first 8 moves consist of putting the pieces on the board, behind your pawns, in any arrangement you want - if he's studied a lot of openings, this will make all of that study useless!

Good luck
 
Bacon
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If you are playing in person, you can't cheat against a skilled player. If you are playing remotely you can use a good chess computer to give you an edge. As a chess player, I find that despicable. However, it's the only way to beat someone that is better than you, (other than getting better) that I can think of.

Years ago my brother used to always beat me. Then I bought a book "Chess in a Nutshell"... something like that anyway. It taught me the basics and I improved my game a great deal.

The trap that many people fall into (me for one) is thinking that only really smart people can be good at chess and that if you lose it is because the other player is smarter than you. That caused me to over-think the game. You need to learn some basic openings, the importance of controlling the center of the board, the art of the "middle-game" (where the players and the also-rans are separated, normally) and most importantly how to close.

Learn to play within yourself. If you can only see 4 moves ahead, then play in that range. Don't be too agressive or too timid. That will vary with your opponent, you will find. Although, if I'm playing against a beginner, I take it easy as to not discourage them. I enjoy the game, but also enjoy seeing other people learn to enjoy it too.
[ December 23, 2004: Message edited by: Ray Marsh ]
 
Joel McNary
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Knightmare Chess

This should help....
 
David O'Meara
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Challenge him to an arm-wrestle. I can teach you how to cheat in that.
 
Helen Thomas
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Ask the opponent to explain the rules of the game over and over again. Slowly you find yourself using their own tactics against the player.

Works when playing with children, anyway.
[ December 23, 2004: Message edited by: Helen Thomas ]
 
Joe King
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Most of the advice above focuses on the game itself, but the best area for Unorthodox Tactical Opportunities Of Debatable Moral Standing (which some people nastily call "cheating") is away from the board.

Develop some distracting personal habits - sniff a lot, pick your nose, scratch your armpits, hum tunelessly. Muttering, especially in foreign or made up languages is also a good option, as is making a faint clicking noise in the back of your throat. Every time the other player is about to make a move, breath in sharply as if you've just spotted him/her about to make a huge mistake.

None of this is cheating, but the more you can put off the other player the better. They will get so distracted and irritated by your interruptions that they will not play as well. If you can make all of the interruptions look like subconscious habits then you can deny doing them on purpose, saying something like "Oh sorry, I sometimes do that when I'm bored".
 
Gerald Davis
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Originally posted by Joe King:
Most of the advice above focuses on the game itself, but the best area for Unorthodox Tactical Opportunities Of Debatable Moral Standing (which some people nastily call "cheating") is away from the board.

Develop some distracting personal habits - sniff a lot, pick your nose, scratch your armpits, hum tunelessly. Muttering, especially in foreign or made up languages is also a good option, as is making a faint clicking noise in the back of your throat. Every time the other player is about to make a move, breath in sharply as if you've just spotted him/her about to make a huge mistake.

None of this is cheating, but the more you can put off the other player the better. They will get so distracted and irritated by your interruptions that they will not play as well. If you can make all of the interruptions look like subconscious habits then you can deny doing them on purpose, saying something like "Oh sorry, I sometimes do that when I'm bored".


I have nasty habits anyway so that will not make much of a difference, but I do have one trick, that is the wining,by saying "nooo noo!! arhh " it will make him feel worried.
 
Gerald Davis
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I bought myself ChessMaster 10th Edition ,its got loads of tutorials, easy to use audio tutorials and loads of games from history. Even the endgame is not weak like they are on most chess computers.

I am ganna mess him up and show him the power of will! Come boat him bad at chess, and givin it all of that!

PS. Why is chess associated with classical music, like Mozart? I only listen to classical music because I hate song associated with love and classic FM is the only one that doesn�t.
 
Jeroen Wenting
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Everything suggested here bar one to get the opponent out of his game will get you instantly disqualified under FIDE rules which are the rules most competitions follow (and most others have very similar rules).

There's no way to win unless you indeed find an opening your opponent doesn't know and you use that for a quick win.
But be prepared to be in one tough fight if your opponent does know the opening as he'll likely know it better than you in that case and turn it against you.

Practice, practice, and practice some more. A computer can help but beware that computers play chess quite different from the way people do. An experienced player will detect you're using a computer to play for you, their tactics and strategies are that distinct (in fact Kasparov used his understanding of the way computers play chess on at least one occasion to trick the world's most powerful chess computer into making a fatal mistake a human of grandmaster callibre would never have made).
 
Jeroen Wenting
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Originally posted by Joel McNary:
Knightmare Chess

This should help....


that still exists?
I purchased a set as an oddity in 1997, never used it.
Found it again some time ago, still never used it
 
Chris Baron
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If you have a good punch, you could challenge him to chessboxing


cb
 
Gerald Davis
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Originally posted by Jeroen Wenting:
Everything suggested here bar one to get the opponent out of his game will get you instantly disqualified under FIDE rules which are the rules most competitions follow (and most others have very similar rules).

There's no way to win unless you indeed find an opening your opponent doesn't know and you use that for a quick win.
But be prepared to be in one tough fight if your opponent does know the opening as he'll likely know it better than you in that case and turn it against you.

Practice, practice, and practice some more. A computer can help but beware that computers play chess quite different from the way people do. An experienced player will detect you're using a computer to play for you, their tactics and strategies are that distinct (in fact Kasparov used his understanding of the way computers play chess on at least one occasion to trick the world's most powerful chess computer into making a fatal mistake a human of grandmaster callibre would never have made).



I don�t think he played computer chess, he is much older then I am and not into computer technology that much. He probably doesn�t know that I am using a computer or even preparing to beat him.
 
Ashish Chopra
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hey this is out of some book(can't remember which one)

get another guy who 's equally good (maybe better) at chess as your colleague, tell your colleague that you'll be playing both guys at the same time. Seperate the two tables (chess-boards) with a curtain. Now begin playing with any one of the two. Whatever one guy plays, go to the other chess-board & replicate that move, see the response, go back to the first table & play that response

can't guarantee you'll win, but at least you can manage a draw.
 
Clarice Doe
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Originally posted by Ashish Chopra:
hey this is out of some book(can't remember which one)

It's from a novel called "If Tomorrow Comes" written by "Sidney Sheldon"
 
Ashish Chopra
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thanx a lot clarice....

guess i'll read that book again!!
 
Jeroen Wenting
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Had you spent the time learning to play chess instead of thinking of ever more desperate plans on how to cheat you might have stood a fighting chance
 
Marc Peabody
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Learn Elephant Chess (also called Chinese chess or Xiang Qi) and when your friend is ready to play bring out your Elephant Chess board. When your opponent objects, claim that if he is so good at International chess he should have no trouble adjusting.
 
Bert Bates
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bwa-ha-ha...

I like Mark's idea... and being a Go player I continue to bite my tongue...
 
Warren Dew
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You might want to read William Hartston's How to Cheat at Chess, as some of the other posters seem to have. (Not that it will help, but it's a hilarious book!)
 
Jim Yingst
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[Joel]:

Knightmare Chess

This should help....

[Jeroen]:

that still exists?


Yup.

I purchased a set as an oddity in 1997, never used it.
Found it again some time ago, still never used it


Well, many of us who have actually tried it found it a lot of fun. Give it a try sometime; you may be surprised.
 
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