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Telemarketer mistakes...

Marc Peabody
pie sneak
Sheriff

Joined: Feb 05, 2003
Posts: 4727

Some girl from Citibank called asking for "Marc Peaboy" last night (while stuttering over the last name two or three times). After I kindly corrected her (about the 'd' in my name) she still went into her sales pitch. By that point it didn't matter what she had to sell, she lost.

Back in college I got a call for aluminum siding. After kindly telling the gal that I lived in a dorm building, she asked to speak with the dorm's owner!


A good workman is known by his tools.
Ernest Friedman-Hill
author and iconoclast
Marshal

Joined: Jul 08, 2003
Posts: 24187
    
  34

Try being named "Ernest Friedman-Hill". Roughly 2.9% of telemarketers get that right. Of course, it's fun to be a jerk and say "That's DOCTOR Friedman-HILL" after they haltingly ask for "Mr. Fryedmon".

I've told Aluminum Siding salescritters that "I live in a van down by the river." I've also done the Jerry Seinfeld thing, where you say you're interested, but can't talk now, and could they please leave you their home number, so you can call them at your convenience, and when they say they can't/won't/aren't allowed to do that, you say "besides, you wouldn't want to be bothered at home, on your own time, right?" And when they say "right" you say "NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!" and hang up.

I know it's pointless, but it's fun.

My brother-in-law invites Mormons and other proselytizers into his house for religious debates. He was in a seminary for a few years before he got out of the business, so he's got an interesting perspective on organized religion...
[ February 03, 2005: Message edited by: Ernest Friedman-Hill ]

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Jeroen Wenting
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 12, 2000
Posts: 5093
I always love the ones trying to sell me "green" electricity.
Lots of places a physicist can keep them occupied for a long time until the figure out they've been had...

If there's one thing telemarketeers like less than people being rude to them it's people who keep them occupied for half an hour or more only to then say no thanks

My father was called a few years back by a gal trying to sell a pension plan.
He'd just retired, but he didn't say that.
Instead he told her he'd worked hard all his life saving money and now he was going to spend it all

But they're getting more incidious. Got one yesterday who tried to mask her salespitch as a research project into spending habits, to be followed up by "free independent advice" on how to lower spending.
In other words some loan refinancing scheme, of course she never said that, constantly denying there was anything being sold at all.
Kept her on the phone for almost 10 minutes before I'd had enough fun with her and hung up


42
Gail Mikels
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 07, 2001
Posts: 634
My hubby always gets telemarketer calls. When they ask for him, I tell them, "Hold on - he'll be with you in a minute". Then I put the phone down on the counter. After a few minutes, I'll go back & ask whether or not he picked up (of course, he hadn't picked up because I never told him he had a call, or he wasn't even home) then I say, "Oh - I'll go get him - please hold on..." and so on & so on...



Gail Mikels
Madhav Lakkapragada
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jun 03, 2000
Posts: 5040
Originally posted by Elaine Micheals:
My hubby always gets telemarketer calls. When they ask for him, I tell them, "Hold on - he'll be with you in a minute". Then I put the phone down on the counter. After a few minutes, I'll go back & ask whether or not he picked up (of course, he hadn't picked up because I never told him he had a call, or he wasn't even home) then I say, "Oh - I'll go get him - please hold on..." and so on & so on...



Another Seinfeld episode comes to mind -

The one where Kramer puts the Cable Company guy on hold. Puts the receiver in front of the radio playing soft music. Should try that next time.

Needless to say they never pronounce my lastname. Lately, I have been getting telemarketing calls from India too. Those folks have no clue, they argue with you requesting you to listen to their sales pitch. I have fun no-a-days, then take their name/number and report it to DoNotCall.gov.

In general, calls have reduced I should say after the DoNotCall list.

- m


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Jeroen Wenting
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 12, 2000
Posts: 5093
sadly, our donotcall registry is run by the telemarketeers themselves. It's the telephone equivalent of a spammer's "unsubscribe" option...

Why the heck does a do not call list need my income, marital status, home and work address, and a ton of other information?
All they should need is my phone number
Kishore Dandu
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 10, 2001
Posts: 1934
Originally posted by Madhav Lakkapragada:


Another Seinfeld episode comes to mind -

The one where Kramer puts the Cable Company guy on hold. Puts the receiver in front of the radio playing soft music. Should try that next time.

Needless to say they never pronounce my lastname. Lately, I have been getting telemarketing calls from India too. Those folks have no clue, they argue with you requesting you to listen to their sales pitch. I have fun no-a-days, then take their name/number and report it to DoNotCall.gov.

In general, calls have reduced I should say after the DoNotCall list.

- m



I was about to write about the same; the telemarketing calls from India. I did mention that I am not supposed to be contacted by a telemarketer. Then they start pitching this 30 minutes free calling card(after that it will be 18 cents a minute). I told them that I only pay freaking 9 cents to call india now-a-days and why would I use their card. Then the same guy calls back every other day, trying to persuade me.

Now a days, if I lift the phone I just use bad words or tell he got wrong number.


Kishore
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Marc Peabody
pie sneak
Sheriff

Joined: Feb 05, 2003
Posts: 4727

I'm tempted try out one of these soundboards.

By the way, listen to Dr. Phil Call 1 and Ms. Cleo Call 1... but do it at home, not at work.
Matt Fielder
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 27, 2004
Posts: 158
Personally I think their fatal flaw is using the execu-greeting.
Yes, I coined that term.

Goes kinda like this:
*meeting/passing anybody...
A: Hey how ya doing?
B: Good, how you doing?
A: Good.
(you know its a good day when you get the return good)
B: Good.

What the hell is that? You don't care how I am.
Why do we use this crap greeting? Just wish me a good morning and move on.

As for telemarketers... Just pitch.
Try: Good evening. I want to sell some crap to you...
I'm stubborn though so I don't play the execu-greeting game.
Thomas Paul
mister krabs
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Joined: May 05, 2000
Posts: 13974
I never get telemarketing calls.


Associate Instructor - Hofstra University
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Jeroen Wenting
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 12, 2000
Posts: 5093
no fair Thomas, we all know you have no phone out there in the boonies

"is this Mr Wenting?"
"depends on who you are"
"are you aware that many people don't have a good pensionfund"
"so you're trying to sell me something?"
"no sir, we're only offering independent advise"
click
kayal cox
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 19, 2004
Posts: 376
Actually, I never get telemarketing calls too.

I used to get a once-in-6-months call from MCI when using a normal landline. And that also stopped once I switched to Packet 8.
Bacon
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 14, 2004
Posts: 305
Mistake #1: Calling me.

I also have signed up for the NY state do-not-call list and the national do-not-call list. That has helped a lot. The fines are steep for calling someone on the list. I had to laugh when the law was in congress. The tele-marketers were argueing the law violates their freedom of speech.

If they do get through it goes like this.

phone: ring ring
me: hello
phone: A pause, followed by a click. The auto-dialer connecting me to a live person.
me: click

or

phone: ring ring
me: hello
phone: "May I please speak to Mr. Marsh."
me: click If it was someone with official business they should annouce who they are.

or

phone: ring ring
me: hello
phone: "May I please speak to Mrs. Marsh."
me: "May I tell her who's calling?"
phone: "Is she home?"
me: click
[ February 03, 2005: Message edited by: Ray Marsh ]
Joel McNary
Bartender

Joined: Aug 20, 2001
Posts: 1821

I'm on the Pennsylvania do-not-call list, and haven't received a telemarketing call for about 8 months now.

However, we do get the occassional door-to-door proselytizer. I've not yet had the gumption to invite them in for debates, but I'm planning on it. I'd want to move my entire religious writings collections somewhere more prominent in the living room, as the library is too far out of the way on the third floor (and I don't really want these people that far into my house anyway). Although, come to think of, my Bible/Tanakh/Koran collection should suffice....


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Stan James
(instanceof Sidekick)
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 29, 2003
Posts: 8791
The do not call list seems to have stopped most of the junk calls, but I still get exempt non-profits like state police against drugs, firemen's retirement fund, etc. I just don't pick up anything I don't recognize on caller id.

For a while I folded junk mail up in the return envelope and sent it back to them, original envelope and all. That was kinda mean to the minimum wage crowd in the mail room, tho.


A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of the idea. John Ciardi
Jayesh Lalwani
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 05, 2004
Posts: 502
Sometimes, I get called Jasheya or Jasheeya by telemarketers. I dont mind being called Jayish(as in dish or foolish) or even Jayeash(as in Please). But, I can't understand how these people can switch the 'y' sound with the 'sh' sound. And it's always telemarketers doing that.
Jayesh Lalwani
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 05, 2004
Posts: 502
Originally posted by Stan James:
The do not call list seems to have stopped most of the junk calls, but I still get exempt non-profits like state police against drugs, firemen's retirement fund, etc. I just don't pick up anything I don't recognize on caller id.

For a while I folded junk mail up in the return envelope and sent it back to them, original envelope and all. That was kinda mean to the minimum wage crowd in the mail room, tho.


That's a good idea. You can go one step further and cross-return the junk mail. Suppose you got junk-mail from Citibank and Discover. Put Citibank's mail into Discover's return envelope, and Discover's mail into Citibank's return envelope, and post both the envelopes. That should waste not only the mail handler's time, but the mail handler's supervisor's time too
Kishore Dandu
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 10, 2001
Posts: 1934
Originally posted by Jayesh Lalwani:


That's a good idea. You can go one step further and cross-return the junk mail. Suppose you got junk-mail from Citibank and Discover. Put Citibank's mail into Discover's return envelope, and Discover's mail into Citibank's return envelope, and post both the envelopes. That should waste not only the mail handler's time, but the mail handler's supervisor's time too


thats a good one.
Kishore Dandu
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 10, 2001
Posts: 1934
Originally posted by Joel McNary:
I'm on the Pennsylvania do-not-call list, and haven't received a telemarketing call for about 8 months now.

However, we do get the occassional door-to-door proselytizer. I've not yet had the gumption to invite them in for debates, but I'm planning on it. I'd want to move my entire religious writings collections somewhere more prominent in the living room, as the library is too far out of the way on the third floor (and I don't really want these people that far into my house anyway). Although, come to think of, my Bible/Tanakh/Koran collection should suffice....


if you put a small 'No Solicitation Please' sticker next to your main door; that will stop unwanted knocks on the door.
Jeroen Wenting
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 12, 2000
Posts: 5093
Originally posted by Kishore Dandu:


if you put a small 'No Solicitation Please' sticker next to your main door; that will stop unwanted knocks on the door.


not Jehovahs... With them you have to get lucky and find one who is in charge of the local chapter and has the power to put you on their list of people who should not be contacted.
I got them to blacklist my address 3 years ago. Before that they came by about once a month on average, after it I've not had them knock on my door (I've seen them walk around the block though regularly so they still exist).
Gregg Bolinger
GenRocket Founder
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 11, 2001
Posts: 15299
    
    6

I just never answer the phone. We have all our ringers turned off and the answering machine turned down, but you can still here it. So everyone that calls me knows to just talk for a bit on the machine until I can get to the phone. I haven't received a telemarketing call at home in a long time though. I still get a few at work because of various free tech mags I have subscribed to online.


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Madhav Lakkapragada
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jun 03, 2000
Posts: 5040
Recently our project manager wanted a meeting at 10:30 PM.
You know what I really wanted to say -
That's fine you can call me at home but I have to tell you, my number is on the Federal DoNotCall list and I have to report all unsolicited calls.

I am sure that would have caught him by surprise.


- m.............but I need to buy baby formula and pay the bills!
Mark Spritzler
ranger
Sheriff

Joined: Feb 05, 2001
Posts: 17257
    
    6

Before the Do Not Call List! I greatly reduced the number, but simply asking them to lose my number.

I would say..

"Hey, can you do me a favor?"

reply - "Yes"

"Please Lose My Number"

That actually worked, then the Do Not Call list removed all calls.

I always would also say "Not Interested" immeediatly and hang up, they wouldn't call again.

Mark


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