This week's book giveaway is in the OCAJP 8 forum.
We're giving away four copies of OCA Java SE 8 Programmer I Study Guide and have Edward Finegan & Robert Liguori on-line!
See this thread for details.
The moose likes Meaningless Drivel and the fly likes Watch out for little old ladies joke Big Moose Saloon
  Search | Java FAQ | Recent Topics | Flagged Topics | Hot Topics | Zero Replies
Register / Login

Win a copy of OCA Java SE 8 Programmer I Study Guide this week in the OCAJP 8 forum!
JavaRanch » Java Forums » Other » Meaningless Drivel
Bookmark "Watch out for little old ladies joke" Watch "Watch out for little old ladies joke" New topic

Watch out for little old ladies joke

Jeanne Boyarsky
author & internet detective

Joined: May 26, 2003
Posts: 32628

> Watch out for little old ladies.......

> Speeding??

> An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
> Older Woman: "Is there a problem, Officer?"
> Officer: "Ma'am, you were speeding."

> Older Woman: "Oh, I see."
> Officer: "Can I see your license please?"
> Older Woman: "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."
> Officer: "Don't have one? "
> Older Woman: "Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. "
> Officer: "I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. "
> Older Woman: "I can't do that. "
> Officer: "Why not? "
> Older Woman: "I stole this car. "
> Officer: "Stole it? "
> Older Woman: "Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner."
> Officer: "You what? "
> Older Woman: "His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you
> want to see."
> The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and
> calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A
> senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

> Officer 2: "Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!" The
> woman steps out of her vehicle.

> Older woman: "Is there a problem sir?"
> Officer 2: "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car
> and murdered the owner."
> Older Woman: "Murdered the owner? "
> Officer 2: "Yes, would you open the trunk of your car, please."
> The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
> Officer 2: "Is this your car, ma'am?"
> Older Woman: "Yes, here are the registration papers." The officer is
> quite stunned.
> Officer 2: "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
> license."
> The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a driver's license and
> hands it to the officer.
> The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
> Officer 2: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't
> have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and
> hacked up the owner."
> Older Woman: "Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too."

> Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies

[OCA 8 book] [Blog] [JavaRanch FAQ] [How To Ask Questions The Smart Way] [Book Promos]
Other Certs: SCEA Part 1, Part 2 & 3, Core Spring 3, TOGAF part 1 and part 2
Aaron Ting
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 13, 2005
Posts: 78
Nice way to "punk" with the authorities...
[ December 29, 2005: Message edited by: Marilyn de Queiroz ]

If you can't convince them, confuse them!
Aaron Ting
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 13, 2005
Posts: 78
Here is something to share with...

Joke 1
A couple drove down a country road for several
miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As they passed a
barnyard of mules,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,

"Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

Joke 2
A little girl was talking to her teacher about
whales. The teacher
said it was physically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human because
though it was a very large mammal, its throat was
very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a

irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could
not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will
ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
paul wheaton

Joined: Dec 14, 1998
Posts: 20896

I want the little old lady to teach me

permaculture Wood Burning Stoves 2.0 - 4-DVD set
I agree. Here's the link:
subject: Watch out for little old ladies joke
It's not a secret anymore!