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Original writing: Rate it..

Monu Tripathi
Rancher

Joined: Oct 12, 2008
Posts: 1369
    
    1

I wrote a poem once (in a blue moon!)..and people who read it said i should post it to some forum...now since i use all of the forums, that i am a member of, to discuss computer languages not poetry, I am not sure where to go....so, i thought of sharing it via this forum..here it comes..read it and rate it if you like!

The certain Uncertainty

Home comes a man tired and depressed,
Saying his bedtime prayers he resigns to bed.
Shifting in sub-consciousness he seeks some respite,
Will he find some at least tonight?

A man breaks into the house,
Interrupting the fantasy of the man,
Striking his killer rod
Leaves nothing but a cold body and shattered head
What wrong did he do to suffer such a fate?

Ruptured skull, broken vows
Unmet promise, expectations (now) farfetched,
The goods, the bads
Friends and kin
Happiness and sorrow
Joy and hope
All washed away in tears of fear, despair and regret

And so did the man wake up,
Found his body and himself
Lying awake on his bed, he thinks...

Free from bondage eyes begin to see
All the things that the man is blinded from since eternity
Life, the here and the now
A present it is waste it not
For you know not what lies ahead….
so certain is Uncertainty


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Mandar Khire
Ranch Hand

Joined: Sep 11, 2007
Posts: 498

Its very nice! Your English is very good!
But i didn't understand that much English!


Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why.
Monu Tripathi
Rancher

Joined: Oct 12, 2008
Posts: 1369
    
    1

many thanks for reading mate..
Rajah Nagur
Ranch Hand

Joined: Nov 06, 2002
Posts: 239
Good One!


You can't wake a person who is <b><i>pretending</i></b> to be asleep.<br />Like what <b>"it"</b> does not like - <i> Gurdjieff </i>
Monu Tripathi
Rancher

Joined: Oct 12, 2008
Posts: 1369
    
    1

Valen danken..mucha gracias..many thanks!
Romit Bose
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 03, 2007
Posts: 50
Really nice thought buddy!
Arvind Mahendra
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 14, 2007
Posts: 1162
very nice. you should enter into some poetry writing contest. How did you learn to write like this?


I want to be like marc
Ashok Mash
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 13, 2000
Posts: 1936
Apologies for not being nice - I have to say I not a huge fan of that exact poem, can't agree with the words somehow - but I loved what you are saying there, very original, and very refreshing! Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed it!


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Monu Tripathi
Rancher

Joined: Oct 12, 2008
Posts: 1369
    
    1

Arvind Mahendra wrote:very nice. you should enter into some poetry writing contest. How did you learn to write like this?


Thanks for reading. i am no poet; this just 'happened" once.

Ashok Mash wrote:Apologies for not being nice - I have to say I not a huge fan of that exact poem, can't agree with the words somehow - but I loved what you are saying there, very original, and very refreshing! Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed it!


you were being nice by giving it your time.

Thanks.
 
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