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Chuck Norris Facts

Gregg Bolinger
GenRocket Founder
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Joined: Jul 11, 2001
Posts: 15302

This is the funniest site I've seen in a while. My favorite so far is:

"Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs."

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Svend Rost
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 23, 2002
Posts: 904
Yeah - funny site.

Personally, I found nr. 7 rather amusing:

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

/Svend Rost
David O'Meara

Joined: Mar 06, 2001
Posts: 13459

A gentle smattering of profanity, just the way I like it.
Nick George
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Joined: Apr 04, 2004
Posts: 815
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will fuck you up.

I've heard it takes forever to grow a woman from the ground
George Harris
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Joined: May 05, 2003
Posts: 84
Actually, if you "Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate 140,000 results.
Max Habibi
town drunk
( and author)

Joined: Jun 27, 2002
Posts: 4118
{posted for Jeffery Hunter: I(Max Habibi) tried to clean up the formatting, and somehow screwed it}

Okay, I am in tears over this. I came to the one place I knew it would be appreciated, and being that it has to do with our friend Chuck, I put it in this thread. This is courtesy of Jerry Joplin. Here are some highlights, and the link follows:

  • Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your web app will turn into a swing application, and a very bad swing application containing lots of icons of human skulls.
  • When someone attempts to use one of Chuck Norris' deprecated methods, they automatically get a roundhouse kick to the face at compile time.
  • The java.lang package originally contained a ChuckNorris class, but it punched its way out of the package during a design review and roundhouse kicked Bill Joy in the face.
  • A synchronize does not protect against Chuck Norris, if he wants the object, he takes it.

  • More here.

    [ April 07, 2006: Message edited by: Jeffrey Hunter ]

    Java Regular Expressions
    Jeffrey Hunter
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Apr 16, 2004
    Posts: 305
    Ooops. In my haste I forgot UBB syntax. Sorry for the double post (I created on new thread on this topic).
    Satish Chilukuri
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Jun 23, 2005
    Posts: 266

    Some of my Favs:

  • Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
  • When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
  • Christophe VerrĂ©

    Joined: Nov 24, 2005
    Posts: 14688

    Originally posted by George Harris:
    Actually, if you "Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate 140,000 results.

    And you'll find a link to the Anti-Chuck Facts page :

    [My Blog]
    All roads lead to JavaRanch
    David O'Meara

    Joined: Mar 06, 2001
    Posts: 13459

    You need to specify that the link is NOT WORK SAFE.
    I agree. Here's the link:
    subject: Chuck Norris Facts