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hardy har har har (some silly jokes)

Jessica Sant
Sheriff

Joined: Oct 17, 2001
Posts: 4313

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path.

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids.

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick.

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

20. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

21. How Is a Texas Tornado And an Alabama Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer!


- Jess
Blog:KnitClimbJava | Twitter: jsant | Ravelry: wingedsheep
Sameer Jamal
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 16, 2001
Posts: 1870
Why there was a ban on Britney Spear's postage stamp ?
Because people used to lick it from the other side.
Jeff Albertson
Ranch Hand

Joined: Sep 16, 2005
Posts: 1780
Since the saloon is built on the credo "Give a man a fish", I found this page funny: http://www.amatecon.com/fish.html


There is no emoticon for what I am feeling!
Max Habibi
town drunk
( and author)
Sheriff

Joined: Jun 27, 2002
Posts: 4118
Jess,

Those are awesome! My wife taped some up, and plans on using them with her kids :-)


Java Regular Expressions
Jim Yingst
Wanderer
Sheriff

Joined: Jan 30, 2000
Posts: 18671
In a similar vein:

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.


"I'm not back." - Bill Harding, Twister
Antonio Giovanni
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jun 27, 2005
Posts: 85
Why there was a ban on Britney Spear's postage stamp ?
Because people used to lick it from the other side.


shan Iyer
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 13, 2005
Posts: 391
Why there was a ban on Britney Spear's postage stamp ?
Because people used to lick it from the other side.

Some will lick it on both the sides


Warm Regards, S.Iyer
SCJP1.4, SCWCD1.4
David O'Meara
Rancher

Joined: Mar 06, 2001
Posts: 13459

I finally remembered what the boomerang joke reminded me of:

Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
 
I agree. Here's the link: http://aspose.com/file-tools
 
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