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A special request to all women...

Sameer Jamal
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 16, 2001
Posts: 1870
Dear Wife, Partner, Girlfriend, Aunt, Niece, Mother, Grandmothers, Maids, n
all other possible forms of Women......

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the
newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup,
and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to
do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally
ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any
exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose
it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as
long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a
refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you
expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up
the baby that just fell on the floor....It won't happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the
fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do
not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the
games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am,
unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is
losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll
win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I
will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football
than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a
break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me
during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the
halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one"
game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time
together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen
them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related
parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a
game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights shown on TV every night is just as
important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you
have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we
can all watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World
Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this
comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League,
FA Cup, etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Aditi Sharma
Greenhorn

Joined: Jan 30, 2006
Posts: 12
.Thank god.I am single.
Dave Lenton
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 20, 2005
Posts: 1241
Originally posted by Sameer Jamal:
6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is
losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll
win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I
will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football
than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a
break up or divorce.
In 2001, Reading FC were in the play off finals in Cardiff against Walsall, and I went to see the game with my dad and my girlfriend. The game finished 1-1, despite Reading being the better team. In extra time, we finally got the deserved reward, and went into the lead. Then disaster - with only minutes left, our defender walloped a clearance straight into the head of a team mate, and the ball spun up and over the keeper and into the net. One minute later Walsall scored again, and got promoted. We were stunned - to see our team play that well, and then to let in two strange goals right at the end to miss out on promotion was gutting.

In the car on the journey home, having got a bit fed up of the stoney silence from my dad and myself, my girlfriend said "Don't worry, its only a game".


There will be glitches in my transition from being a saloon bar sage to a world statesman. - Tony Banks
Chetan Parekh
Ranch Hand

Joined: Sep 16, 2004
Posts: 3636
An advice from my side � when you learn to drive, please also learn how to wear a helmet.




[ May 17, 2006: Message edited by: Chetan Parekh ]

My blood is tested +ve for Java.
Sameer Jamal
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 16, 2001
Posts: 1870
I remember the 1994 football world cup I was little bit upset because of my highschool result as I didnt got the antipated marks and my dad said dont worry we'll be watching a very exciting football match today you cannot improve you marks but can enjoy the match.
vamsikrishna vajjah
Greenhorn

Joined: Mar 14, 2006
Posts: 27
But Woman have their favourite star DAVID BECKHAM playing the world cup.So atleast there will not be any disturbance during England's matches.
Angela Poynton
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 02, 2000
Posts: 3143
and people wonder why feminists are so agressive :roll:


Pounding at a thick stone wall won't move it, sometimes, you need to step back to see the way around.
 
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