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Urgent - how to programme?

 
Greenhorn
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URGENT, can anyone [please, please, please] teach me to programme. I have a college assignment that is due in 10 minutes time. I need to be taught Java, Haskell and Prolog as the assignment requires me to develop a neural network in all three languages.

Also would it be possible for someone to write the code for me? I would have done in myself � but I could not stop partying during term, and I also needed to go surfing each afternoon and so missed a few classes.
 
Ranch Hand
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I think you are doing a great job and already know how to program. It works real well if you just post on this forum and ask people to write your program in the manner that you just did. Keep up the good work and good luck with the waves!
 
Zoots Allures
Greenhorn
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Dude, is �Powerbuilder� a new word like for building cool systems but with POWER� Sounds sweet� Should I learn this, or just keep going with this other stuff�

Looks like I�ll have another year of study [and surfing] � cos my project deadline has gone, I�m off surfing anyway�.
 
Consider Paul's rocket mass heater.
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