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advertising phrases I hate

 
lowercase baba
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On TV this morning, i heard an add that said something like "save up to 30%..." When I thought about this, i realized this means nothing. or rather, it means that NO MATTER WHAT, i won't save MORE than 30%, but I could save less. Heck, it might cost me MORE.

then, on the radio, they said that the chance of rain was "100%". Really? there is NO WAY it WON'T rain today? what if a few nuclear bombs went off - couldn't that disturb the weather patterns enough to prevent a rainstorm?

Also, they didn't say in what time frame it would rain. So, i guess if it EVER RAINS AGAIN before the world ends, they are correct. I think they have pretty good odds for being right. But it doesn't help me plan my day very well...

Am I being too literal?
 
Java Cowboy
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I recently saw the following on a website:

"200% guarantee that you will pass the SCJP exam"

I wonder what that means exactly.
 
Sheriff
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I was with you on the "up to 30%" dealy, but you lost me with the "100% of rain".

For some reason the Gerber Grow-up Plan commercial grates on my nerves: "Don't you want to protect your children?" How does buying life insurance for a baby "protect" it?
 
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I often wonder why some people advertise the fact that it's better to use nothing than to use their product.

You often see phrases like
'Nothing works faster'
or
'Nothing cleans better'

 
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fred rosenberger wrote:On TV this morning, i heard an add that said something like "save up to 30%..." When I thought about this, i realized this means nothing. or rather, it means that NO MATTER WHAT, i won't save MORE than 30%, but I could save less. Heck, it might cost me MORE.




I hate the "save up to 30%... or more". What the heck does that mean? Why put in the 30% number at all if I can save both more or less than 30%.


The other phrase I hate is using the word "virtually". A synomyn for virtually is 'not', so when you read an add that says "It will virtually clean itself" read it as "It will not clean itself.
 
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Jesper Young wrote:I recently saw the following on a website:

"200% guarantee that you will pass the SCJP exam"

I wonder what that means exactly.



It's so good you pass the SCJP and another cert at the exact same time.
 
fred rosenberger
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Bear Bibeault wrote:I was with you on the "up to 30%" dealy, but you lost me with the "100% of rain".



What they said what "it's 52 degrees with a 100% chance of rain". There was no "100% chance of rain TODAY" or "...in the next 4 hours". So if an ANY point in the future, some time over the next 100,000 years it rains, they are correct.

I think that's rather obvious that some day it will rain.

Even if they did mean "in the next 24 hours", is there really NO POSSIBLE way for it to not rain? A solar flare could burn off the earth's atmosphere. A meteor could destroy the world. The LHC could create a black hole that sucks the earth into nothingness. In any of those three cases, it would not rain tomorrow, and each is possible (although unlikely).

It's the aboslute I don't like
 
George Harris
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fred rosenberger wrote:

Bear Bibeault wrote:I was with you on the "up to 30%" dealy, but you lost me with the "100% of rain".



What they said what "it's 52 degrees with a 100% chance of rain". There was no "100% chance of rain TODAY" or "...in the next 4 hours". So if an ANY point in the future, some time over the next 100,000 years it rains, they are correct.

I think that's rather obvious that some day it will rain.

Even if they did mean "in the next 24 hours", is there really NO POSSIBLE way for it to not rain? A solar flare could burn off the earth's atmosphere. A meteor could destroy the world. The LHC could create a black hole that sucks the earth into nothingness. In any of those three cases, it would not rain tomorrow, and each is possible (although unlikely).

It's the aboslute I don't like



The thing that gets me about this is that 2 hours later they change the forcast to 40% chance of rain. They just said that there was no possible way it wouldn't rain, now the odds say that it won't rain. If it is at 100% there should be no way that the forecast should ever be able to change. It will rain. Period!!!
 
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100% chance of rain could well mean that it currently is raining, at least in some regions within the station's broadcast area.

It could also mean that their best guess is there's more like a 97.37857% chance of rain, but it would be pretty silly reporting that level of accuracy, no? Weather reports routinely round the chance of rain to the nearest 10% or so. Maybe they should report 97% in that case, but I think they're better off rounding. It's a given that those numbers are just estimates, and "100%" probably means "close to 100%".
 
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* conditions apply

This really pisses me off...especially when the conditions are impossible or hard to find.
 
fred rosenberger
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then why not just say "and a near 100% chance of rain"?
 
Bear Bibeault
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fred rosenberger wrote:Even if they did mean "in the next 24 hours", is there really NO POSSIBLE way for it to not rain? A solar flare could burn off the earth's atmosphere. A meteor could destroy the world. The LHC could create a black hole that sucks the earth into nothingness. In any of those three cases, it would not rain tomorrow, and each is possible (although unlikely).


The chances of global devastation are so small that it's moot. If we always had to account for the chance of being bitten by rabid squirrels, or the sky turning pink and the Earth starting to rotate in the opposite direction, we'd never be able to say anything with a reasonable level of certainty without disclaimers. I have no issue with "100% change of rain" without having to follow it with hours of disclaimers about stuff that is unlikely to happen.
 
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Maneesh Godbole wrote:* conditions apply

This really pisses me off...especially when the conditions are impossible or hard to find.



That is usually the intention- to never be clear what the terms and conditions are - maybe they can then make them up on the spot if they ever land in trouble.

Here in India, we also get to hear buy such and such product and get a 'Free gift'. This is like saying we are going to give you something for free and as an added bonus we aren't going to charge you for it.

 
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Pawn shop commercial:



Man: Check out my big screen TV!

Woman: I can go on a cruise!

Store Owner: Jewelry is not for ever. Free up some cash!




I am really interested to know what brand of magic big screen TV last longer than a piece of jewelry... and what cruise last longer than a piece of jewelry... where does her cruise go to? another galaxy?
 
Peter Hsu
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cruise ==> Titanic... maybe
 
ranger
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The up to percentage always pisses me off.

For the chance of rain part. I remember in a college class the instructor said that the percentage is not the "chance" it will or won't rain, but about the coverage area. So if they said 40% chance of rain in Los Angeles, they meant that 40% of the Los Angeles coverage area will get rain at any point. Which also covers the rain clouds moving but still covering 40% of the area, just a different area of Los Angeles. And that is why the percentage also changes, because cloud coverage can change as the day goes by. Also if there is less cloud coverage like 10%, means that the clouds cover 10% of the area but doesn't mean that those clouds will actually have rain come out of it at all times.

I should do a Google and Wikipedia search to see if that is actually accurate or not.

I don't find anything that matches my answer. One I saw was how they enter the data into the computer and check the # of days before it was like that and how many of those days did it rain. So if 100 days had the same basic data entered and on 60 of those days it actually rained, I guess they would make that a 60% chance of rain.

Other advertising phrases I hate

"Wait, there's more"

"Gillette, the best a man can get" Then after a period of time they come out with a new razor. So are they saying then that the previous razor wasn't really the best that a man can get, that they were just lying until they really came up with the best you can get, or are they lying on this one too?

Mark
 
fred rosenberger
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Bear Bibeault wrote:The chances of global devastation are so small that it's moot. If we always had to account for the chance of being bitten by rabid squirrels, or the sky turning pink and the Earth starting to rotate in the opposite direction, we'd never be able to say anything with a reasonable level of certainty without disclaimers. I have no issue with "100% change of rain" without having to follow it with hours of disclaimers about stuff that is unlikely to happen.


so would you have an issue with a vendor saying their server has 100% up-time?
 
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Mark Spritzler wrote:"Gillette, the best a man can get" Then after a period of time they come out with a new razor. So are they saying then that the previous razor wasn't really the best that a man can get, that they were just lying until they really came up with the best you can get, or are they lying on this one too?


That pretty much sums up how Microsoft advertises new versions of Windows these days.
 
author
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fyi - there is a website dedicated to misuse of "literally", although in this ilk my favorite is the website of unnecessary quotes

More to the point, I love/hate those advertisements that string a bunch of implied "ands" together so that by the end they're master of a very small universe:

"Come to Bob's, Northern California's biggest reseller of used, black and decker, 14", reversible, can openers"
 
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Buy any 2 get 1 free absolutely Free


Why i buy total 3 when i required only 1?
& in vodafone India prepaid Bonus card web page shows

Recharge with Rs 35 and get 350 local SMS free


When i pay Rs 35 means i buy each sms for 10 paise then how they use word Free?(1 Indian Rupee=100 paise)
 
Ulf Dittmer
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Mandar Khire wrote:

Buy any 2 get 1 free absolutely Free


Why i buy total 3 when i required only 1?


If you only want 1, then you can buy 1 for the price of 1, which is cheaper than the price of 2 that will get you 3. Seems a pretty clear choice to me.

Recharge with Rs 35 and get 350 local SMS free


When i pay Rs 35 means i buy each sms for 10 paise then how they use word Free?


But the Rs 35 are not for the SMSs. You can use them whichever way you want - the 350 SMS are on top of that. So you're not buying SMS at 10 paise a piece.
 
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Cell phone "unlimited" plans have limits.

Internet "unlimited" plans have limits.

VOIP "unlimited" plans have limits.

It is the consumer that makes this happen. If two companies offer a plan for the same price and the first company says "unlimited" but when you sign the fine print it has some obnoxious limit, people still buy it and then pay the overage later. And then if the other company says "nearly unlimited" far few people buy it - after all, their competitor has an unlimited plan.

When the consumers unite and develop the integrity to actually read the fine print and refuse to do business with misinformation, then we will finally see some change.

And consumers won't do this until things get bad enough. And right now, being suerficial is hip - so .... it will be a long, long time until we see any reasonable change.

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