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marc weber
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By retroactively defining and re-engineering the key imperatives, we've solutioned the cascadence matrix so as to facilitate the superimposition of a multi-tiered safeguard utility on the infrastructure, thus implementing a new generalized Risk Mitigation Standard (RMS) to effectively insulate both enterprise and partner stakeholders from any possible climates of data degradation while delivering and promoting world class excellence in the realtime macro environment independent of external operators, drivers, and indirect opportunity coefficients that might otherwise impact the deliverability and/or inherent functionality of said imperatives or their respective conduits of enhanced operational controls.
 
Deepak Bala
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Thats a good update for a program written to count sheep.
 
Jeroen T Wenting
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in other words you've sent another bill for watching movies all month?
 
marc weber
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Originally posted by Jeroen T Wenting:
in other words you've sent another bill for watching movies all month?

No, there's real work here. The key to success is in "retroactively defining and re-engineering the key imperatives." In other words, changing the original requirements to fit whatever you've... Uh, accomplished.

I actually sent this to my boss a few years ago when asked for an update. Fortunately, I clued him in before he forwarded it up the chain.
 
Nick White
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Originally posted by marc weber By retroactively defining and re-engineering the key imperatives, we've solutioned the cascadence matrix so as to facilitate the superimposition of a multi-tiered safeguard utility on the infrastructure, thus implementing a new generalized Risk Mitigation Standard (RMS) to effectively insulate both enterprise and partner stakeholders from any possible climates of data degradation while delivering and promoting world class excellence in the realtime macro environment independent of external operators, drivers, and indirect opportunity coefficients that might otherwise impact the deliverability and/or inherent functionality of said imperatives or their respective conduits of enhanced operational controls.


Passing that through a spell checker showed 3 issues:

1) Solutioned - even if this is correct it shouldn't be
2) Cascadence - again if this exists, what does it mean?
3) Realtime - boring I know, but not sure it's in the Oxford English (it maybe)

Anyone who can produce this sort of stuff needs to make sure that their social skills aren't in danger of being tarnished by the impression that they may not be the most interesting of lunch dates!
 
marc weber
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Originally posted by Nick White:
...Passing that through a spell checker showed 3 issues...

That's disappointing. A paragraph of this size needs more issues than that to meet the Business Synthesemantical Coefficient (BSC).

(Synthesemantical: Relating to the practice of making up words -- e.g., "synthesemantical.")
 
marc weber
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Nick, thank you for your feedback!

Recommended facilitizations:
  • Change "imperatives" to "pseudoimperatives."
  • Change "facilitate" to "facilitize."
  • Change "enterprise" to "enterprised."
  • Change "climates" to "climatization."
  • Change "realtime" to "tabular endtime." (Good catch!)
  • Change "external operators" to "rigid external operator modules." (These are real words, but they can still disfunction as a unified co-adjoinment.)
  • Change "functionality" to "non-fractionality."
  • Change "enhanced operational controls" to "empowered op hegemony architectures."
  • Considering that this is a single sentence, these edit touchpoints should increase the BSC from 3.587 to 9.387 (using a Kausmann-Steing model with no baseline).
     
    Maureen Augustus
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    The Flesch Reading Ease calculation in Word gave it a score of 0 out of 100. No wonder I stopped reading after the first phrase!
     
    marc weber
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    Originally posted by Maureen Augustus:
    The Flesch Reading Ease calculation in Word gave it a score of 0 out of 100...

    As Nigel Tufnel would say: That's nit-picking, isn't it?
     
    Peter Rooke
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    The Flesch Reading Ease calculation in Word gave it a score of 0 out of 100...


    Got a score of 0 out of 110, on my Flesch Ease Calculation for Word - it goes from 0 to 110. Its 10 better. I mean if you have only 100, where can you go from there - nowhere. This goes to 110.
     
    marc weber
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    Originally posted by Peter Rooke:
    ...it goes from 0 to 110. Its 10 better...

    Why don't you just make 100 better and make 100 be the top... number... and make that a little better?
     
    Peter Rooke
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    It goes to 110.
    One Louder
    [ October 27, 2006: Message edited by: Peter Rooke ]
     
    marc weber
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    "Yeah, listen, we'd love to stand around and chat, but we've gotta... sit down in the lobby and wait for the limo."
     
    Stan James
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    That seems to have nailed all the issues and top initiatives on my current project. It actually made a lot of sense. I think that's a bad thing.
     
    David O'Meara
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    I fed 'functional into the dislexicon and my farourites were:

    functionalmorphic having the form of functional (like pshedo-functional, on non-functional?)
    ectofunctionalment action or process of outside of functional (like, not working?)

    Italics added by me.
     
    David O'Meara
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    I realise 'world class' is a good thing, but is the best you can get? I vote for omniclass (all class). You could probably remove extraneous percipience from the rest of the quote.
     
    marc weber
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    Originally posted by David O'Meara:
    ...You could probably remove extraneous percipience from the rest of the quote.

    Hmmm... Probably. But I want to make sure it's clear.

    (I think "omniclass" still makes too much sense. A good rule of thumb is to use the word "dynamic" in every sentence, and you can never underestimate the Power of Capitalization. So instead of "promoting world class excellence," we'll be "promoting Dynamic Excellence.")
     
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