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[gerontological][potentially X-rated] Getting old: how to

Mapraputa Is
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Joined: Aug 26, 2000
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I am chatting with my roommate, she is 43. She asks, "How can we erase loneliness in our hearts?" She says that several men are dating her, but "I don't have feelings any more. Why is it so?" I think it over and say "Me neither. It's getting so difficult not only to fall in love with anybody, but even to get interested. We are probably too old." I am thinking how I used to quickly fall in love (nothing serious, just some light excitement) and now if I stare at anybody, these are cute Asian girls

But my roommate isn't impressed with my "we're too old" theory. For some reasons, it doesn't satisfy her. I also feel it isn't all there is. I just can't find the right explanation...


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Jeroen T Wenting
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Joined: Apr 21, 2006
Posts: 1847
You're getting more picky as you gain experience in life.
Just a pretty face or a cute bum no longer do it, you want the whole package to conform to ever higher standards and have a decent brain in there as well.
That's very hard to get, even harder to determine on a moment's notice.


42
Jesus Angeles
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Joined: Feb 26, 2005
Posts: 2057
I am also curious on this topic (including, up to how old can a man have sex).
Mapraputa Is
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Joined: Aug 26, 2000
Posts: 10065
Jeroen: You're getting more picky as you gain experience in life.
Just a pretty face or a cute bum no longer do it, you want the whole package to conform to ever higher standards and have a decent brain in there as well.


Well, it's sad... I don't remember who said it, that we normally see people how they are, but when we're in love, we see a person how God intended him to be (rather then what he became due to a) ... b) ... c)... etc.). I feel that I had better, truer vision when I more easily fell in love than it's now.
Ernest Friedman-Hill
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Joined: Jul 08, 2003
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  34

When you are young, there is a whole world to discover. As we get older, we each become a whole world to discover. Few people really have the energy to make these discoveries once they reach a certain age; hence the feeling that new relationships are shallow and lonely. With old friends and lovers, the discoveries have already been made; what's more important is that part of your whole world and theirs is shared. That common ground is the most valuable part of the relationship.

Or something like that.


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Bert Bates
author
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Joined: Oct 14, 2002
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    5
I will admit upfront that I might currently fall into the "if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail" category with the following answer, because Kathy and I are working on the "Creating Passionate Users" theme. (Great sentence Bert :roll: )

Anyway, what I've been re-discovering is that when none of my major life activities hold any passion, my overall energy level is low. So, I've been making sure to mix in a couple of activities everyday that I'm really passionate about. (In my case horse training and an AI project I'm working on.) I find that the energy that I put into these two activities spills over into other aspects of my life, even things like doing the dishes


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Frank Silbermann
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Joined: Jun 06, 2002
Posts: 1387
Did you ask why you never got so excited about boys before you reached puberty? Nature produces the hormones to interest people in mating at the ages when mating was most effective in propagating one's genes.

Originally posted by Jesus Angeles:
I am also curious on this topic (including, up to how old can a man have sex).
That's like asking how old a man can play tennis. It depends on genetics and habits. A very few men can still play tennis well into their 90s; probably a few men can still have sex at that age. But as with tennis, the older the age, the smaller the percentage who still have both the interest and the ability.
 
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