real jokes

When I purchased my first computer, the vender asked what softwares do you need?

I replied, My Computer and My Documents.

I replied, My Computer and My Documents.

wow

hi,

In one interview I was asked:

What is the maxmium amout of RAM that w2k can support ?

I told there is no such limit

Cheers Ayub

I was teaching my friend tamil. I asked her to say, "Naan oru loosu." (meaning, I'm a nut.)

She said, " I know that."

[ April 12, 2007: Message edited by: Arun Kumarr ]

Originally posted by Arun Kumarr:
I was teaching my friend tamil. I asked her to say, "Naan oru loosu." (meaning, I'm a nut.)

She said, " I know that."

[ April 12, 2007: Message edited by: Arun Kumarr ]

I'm not sure if it's the jokes that don't translate well, or the humor.

One time when I was in college, I brought my laundry home. My mom was helping me fold it, and pulled out a pair of women's lacy underwear. Embarrassed, I told her that they belonged to my girlfriend. Then regaining a measure of my composure, I added, "... so you don't have to worry about me!"

Originally posted by Greg Charles:
I'm not sure if it's the jokes that don't translate well, or the humor.

One time when I was in college, I brought my laundry home. My mom was helping me fold it, and pulled out a pair of women's lacy underwear. Embarrassed, I told her that they belonged to my girlfriend. Then regaining a measure of my composure, I added, "... so you don't have to worry about me!"

hehehe !

Originally posted by Greg Charles:
...pulled out a pair of women's lacy underwear. Embarrassed, I told her that they belonged to my girlfriend...

Well, that's easier to explain than the studded leather underwear. Oh, wait... Those are dry clean only.

Bob, how long you been wearin lacy women's underwear?

Since my wife found em in the seat of my truck.

Originally posted by marc weber:

Well, that's easier to explain than the studded leather underwear. Oh, wait... Those are dry clean only.

Originally posted by marc weber:
... Well, that's easier to explain than the studded leather underwear. Oh, wait... Those are dry clean only.

And when you pick them up at the dry cleaner: "These don't belong to me. Mine are studded on the inside."

In a recent interview, i was asked to insert values to a hashmap, and i wrote:

hm.add("a");
hm.add("b");
hm.add("c");

she asked me " what about the keys for these values?"
I said : "this uses hash functions, thats what it does, it generates unique keys for these values automatically!"

ha ha! needless to ask, i didnt get the job

.
[ April 16, 2007: Message edited by: raybr ]

Originally posted by raybr:
...she asked me " what about the keys for these values?"...

I would have said, "They're secret."

Originally posted by marc weber:

I would have said, "They're secret."

I would ve said public key or private key.

Or better yet: "I locked the keys in my car."

Oh, I remember one! I used to help manage a student-run general store ... school supplies, sodas, hygeine, t-shirts, that sort of thing. My friend and I were going to work on some stuff during the weekend, and as we were unlocking the door, our coworker, Manny, burst out and, after some hemming and hawing, admitted that he was using the store office for a romantic tryst. So my friend and I went outside and sat on the grass to wait. After some time, Manny walked past us towards the parking lot and called to us that he would be right back. I called back, "Manny, you're a machine!" My friend just about died laughing.

It was one of those rare situations where I acutally thought of the perfect line (borrowed from the Simpsons though it was) right at the moment, rather than two days later. :roll:
[ April 17, 2007: Message edited by: Greg Charles ]

I was visiting the US from Oz and making a day trip to the HP offices. There was a militant security guard we had to pass before getting in.

Him: What sort of accent do you have?
Me: I don't have an accent.

---

(True story but borrowed from Douglas Adams)
During a particularly bad shift while working in hospitality, I said nonchalantly to a co-worker:

Me: It's days like this that I wish I had listened to my mother.
Them: (taking the bait) Why, what did she say?
Me: I don't know, I wasn't listening.

what about the keys for these values?".

I would have said "Only entity beans have keys"

In Japan, there's a dish called "Katsu-don" : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katsudon
At lunch, I was with my coworkers and asked for a "Katsura-don". They all burst laughing, and the waitress looked at me with a smile. I didn't get it at the moment. They explained me that it was Katsu-don, not Katsura-don. "Katsura" actually means "hairpiece, wig", which is not very tasty on top of the rice

I was watching Thin Red Line movie with my friends this Saturday.

A: " Did you see that? Why do they have a knife at the end of the barrel?"
B: " When the bullets are over, that is to stab somebody and to fight."
C: " Why do you have to fight, if you had stabbed him."

[ April 23, 2007: Message edited by: Arun Kumarr ]

Once, in college, we had to fill up a form and submit the same day as the notice came. The form required a photo and my friend didnt have one. You know what he said: "Raghav, can I borrow one from you?"