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real jokes

ankur rathi
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 11, 2004
Posts: 3830
When I purchased my first computer, the vender asked what softwares do you need?

I replied, My Computer and My Documents.
Deepak Bala
Bartender

Joined: Feb 24, 2006
Posts: 6662
    
    5

I replied, My Computer and My Documents.


wow


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Ayub ali khan
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 20, 2005
Posts: 382
    
    2
hi,

In one interview I was asked:

What is the maxmium amout of RAM that w2k can support ?

I told there is no such limit

Cheers Ayub


SCEA part I,TOGAF Foundation
Arun Kumarr
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 16, 2005
Posts: 513

I was teaching my friend tamil. I asked her to say, "Naan oru loosu." (meaning, I'm a nut.)

She said, " I know that."
[ April 12, 2007: Message edited by: Arun Kumarr ]

If you are not laughing at yourself, then you just didn't get the joke.
Darya Akbari
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 21, 2004
Posts: 1855
Originally posted by Arun Kumarr:
I was teaching my friend tamil. I asked her to say, "Naan oru loosu." (meaning, I'm a nut.)

She said, " I know that."

[ April 12, 2007: Message edited by: Arun Kumarr ]




SCJP, SCJD, SCWCD, SCBCD
Greg Charles
Sheriff

Joined: Oct 01, 2001
Posts: 2854
    
  11

I'm not sure if it's the jokes that don't translate well, or the humor.

One time when I was in college, I brought my laundry home. My mom was helping me fold it, and pulled out a pair of women's lacy underwear. Embarrassed, I told her that they belonged to my girlfriend. Then regaining a measure of my composure, I added, "... so you don't have to worry about me!"
Deepak Bala
Bartender

Joined: Feb 24, 2006
Posts: 6662
    
    5

Originally posted by Greg Charles:
I'm not sure if it's the jokes that don't translate well, or the humor.

One time when I was in college, I brought my laundry home. My mom was helping me fold it, and pulled out a pair of women's lacy underwear. Embarrassed, I told her that they belonged to my girlfriend. Then regaining a measure of my composure, I added, "... so you don't have to worry about me!"


hehehe !
marc weber
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Posts: 11343

Originally posted by Greg Charles:
...pulled out a pair of women's lacy underwear. Embarrassed, I told her that they belonged to my girlfriend...

Well, that's easier to explain than the studded leather underwear. Oh, wait... Those are dry clean only.


"We're kind of on the level of crossword puzzle writers... And no one ever goes to them and gives them an award." ~Joe Strummer
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Stan James
(instanceof Sidekick)
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Joined: Jan 29, 2003
Posts: 8791
Bob, how long you been wearin lacy women's underwear?

Since my wife found em in the seat of my truck.


A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of the idea. John Ciardi
Stuart Ash
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Joined: Oct 07, 2005
Posts: 637
Originally posted by marc weber:

Well, that's easier to explain than the studded leather underwear. Oh, wait... Those are dry clean only.




ASCII silly question, Get a silly ANSI.
marc weber
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Posts: 11343

Originally posted by marc weber:
... Well, that's easier to explain than the studded leather underwear. Oh, wait... Those are dry clean only.

And when you pick them up at the dry cleaner: "These don't belong to me. Mine are studded on the inside."
v ray
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 15, 2007
Posts: 223
In a recent interview, i was asked to insert values to a hashmap, and i wrote:

hm.add("a");
hm.add("b");
hm.add("c");

she asked me " what about the keys for these values?"
I said : "this uses hash functions, thats what it does, it generates unique keys for these values automatically!"

ha ha! needless to ask, i didnt get the job .
[ April 16, 2007: Message edited by: raybr ]
marc weber
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Posts: 11343

Originally posted by raybr:
...she asked me " what about the keys for these values?"...

I would have said, "They're secret."
Deepak Bala
Bartender

Joined: Feb 24, 2006
Posts: 6662
    
    5

Originally posted by marc weber:

I would have said, "They're secret."


I would ve said public key or private key.
marc weber
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Posts: 11343

Or better yet: "I locked the keys in my car."
Greg Charles
Sheriff

Joined: Oct 01, 2001
Posts: 2854
    
  11

Oh, I remember one! I used to help manage a student-run general store ... school supplies, sodas, hygeine, t-shirts, that sort of thing. My friend and I were going to work on some stuff during the weekend, and as we were unlocking the door, our coworker, Manny, burst out and, after some hemming and hawing, admitted that he was using the store office for a romantic tryst. So my friend and I went outside and sat on the grass to wait. After some time, Manny walked past us towards the parking lot and called to us that he would be right back. I called back, "Manny, you're a machine!" My friend just about died laughing.

It was one of those rare situations where I acutally thought of the perfect line (borrowed from the Simpsons though it was) right at the moment, rather than two days later. :roll:
[ April 17, 2007: Message edited by: Greg Charles ]
David O'Meara
Rancher

Joined: Mar 06, 2001
Posts: 13459

I was visiting the US from Oz and making a day trip to the HP offices. There was a militant security guard we had to pass before getting in.

Him: What sort of accent do you have?
Me: I don't have an accent.

---

(True story but borrowed from Douglas Adams)
During a particularly bad shift while working in hospitality, I said nonchalantly to a co-worker:

Me: It's days like this that I wish I had listened to my mother.
Them: (taking the bait) Why, what did she say?
Me: I don't know, I wasn't listening.
Christophe Verré
Sheriff

Joined: Nov 24, 2005
Posts: 14688
    
  16

what about the keys for these values?".

I would have said "Only entity beans have keys"


In Japan, there's a dish called "Katsu-don" : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katsudon
At lunch, I was with my coworkers and asked for a "Katsura-don". They all burst laughing, and the waitress looked at me with a smile. I didn't get it at the moment. They explained me that it was Katsu-don, not Katsura-don. "Katsura" actually means "hairpiece, wig", which is not very tasty on top of the rice


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Arun Kumarr
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 16, 2005
Posts: 513

I was watching Thin Red Line movie with my friends this Saturday.

A: " Did you see that? Why do they have a knife at the end of the barrel?"
B: " When the bullets are over, that is to stab somebody and to fight."
C: " Why do you have to fight, if you had stabbed him."


[ April 23, 2007: Message edited by: Arun Kumarr ]
Raghav Sam
Ranch Hand

Joined: Apr 12, 2001
Posts: 412
Once, in college, we had to fill up a form and submit the same day as the notice came. The form required a photo and my friend didnt have one. You know what he said: "Raghav, can I borrow one from you?"


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.<br />- Dr. Seuss
 
I agree. Here's the link: http://aspose.com/file-tools
 
subject: real jokes