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Which Dilbert character would you hire?

David O'Meara
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Joined: Mar 06, 2001
Posts: 13459

Inspired by... oops I lost the link.

Who and why?

I have a strong feeling I have worked with Wally. Wise to the system, he was always on time and on budget, but it probably wasn't what you anticipated. Not that you can fault him on following the rules: he always follows the rules, but he knows them better than you do.

PHB is out, I hope. Not that they don't exist (again, worked there) but I wouldn't hire one.

Dogbert would be best in general, but you know he's only looking after #1. Your only hope of survival is that he sees you as worth keeping.

Dilbert is smart but unempowered and a bit wussy. I guess we're supposed to side with him, but I look for more in fellow employees.

Ratbert and Catbert are 'no's. Ted the generic guy is not an option, he is just a space filler.

Ashok is great, but for me comes in at second choice.

I like Alice as she is strong (violent?) but gutsy and smart. Cursed by living in a man's world she meets them head on. She can rip someone out of their suit and throw them down the hall for me any day.
Mark Spritzler
ranger
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Joined: Feb 05, 2001
Posts: 17256
    
    6

I think I'm with you. Alice first then Ashok. I definitely would not pick Wally, he is way to lazy, and would do nothing.

Mark


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Mani Ram
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Joined: Mar 11, 2002
Posts: 1140
What, no Elbonians?


Mani
Quaerendo Invenietis
David O'Meara
Rancher

Joined: Mar 06, 2001
Posts: 13459

Nah, excluded for the same reason as 'Ted the generic guy' and bungee managers.

Don't knock Wally he's a blast to have around, and personally I'm sometimes a little wary of Alice. If you walked into the kitchen and she opened the cupboard, hitting you in a sensitive region, could you be sure it was an accident?
Mani Ram
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Joined: Mar 11, 2002
Posts: 1140
But having only a subset of characters will be no fun
Ashok Mash
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Joined: Oct 13, 2000
Posts: 1936
I would pick Ashok (IIT, hardworking, work trained - as in trained to sleep only on national Holidays etc), but that would be too many Ashoks' in the same company - Could be beyond comprehension for the pointy haired people working for my clients!


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Mani Ram
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Joined: Mar 11, 2002
Posts: 1140
Originally posted by Ashok Mash:
but that would be too many Ashoks' in the same company


Scott Adams thought about that and that's why he name him Asok instead of Ashok.
[ September 21, 2007: Message edited by: Mani Ram ]
Marc Peabody
pie sneak
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Joined: Feb 05, 2003
Posts: 4727

I seem to recall that, aside from the boss, Alice was the highest paid and Asok is among the lowest. That makes me pick Asok over Alice. Dilbert is an easy third.

Maybe I'd go for Dogbert if I needed a sales guy.

The only value of that boss is to give everyone a common enemy, improving comraderie.


A good workman is known by his tools.
Greg Charles
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Joined: Oct 01, 2001
Posts: 2853
    
  11

Originally posted by Mani Ram:


Scott Adams thought about that and that's why he name him Asok instead of Ashok.


It's still pronounced the same though. At least, Asok seems to pronounce it like "A-shook".

I think any of Dilbert, Alice, and Asok are worth their paychecks. I'd hire all three of them, plus Dogbert to keep them ... motivated (bwa hah hah!) ... and then let them run. Without the PHB to hold them back, I'm sure they'd make me incredibly rich. If we find we have an excess of coffee, we could bring in Wally as a contractor.
marc weber
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Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Posts: 11343

Alice is obviously qualified and productive, but is she too much of a maverick? Can she work in a team? Would her drive and cynicism stress everyone else out?

Asok seems enthusiastic, but is he qualified? If he could work alongside someone with the right experience, he could be great.

Dilbert doesn't seem to be the most productive, but he seems well qualified, easy going, and realistic. I like that.

But I going with The World's Smartest Garbageman.


"We're kind of on the level of crossword puzzle writers... And no one ever goes to them and gives them an award." ~Joe Strummer
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Max Habibi
town drunk
( and author)
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Joined: Jun 27, 2002
Posts: 4118
The Garbage Man


Java Regular Expressions
Tony Alicea
Desperado
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Joined: Jan 30, 2000
Posts: 3222
    
    5
Whatever happened to the short lived Dilbert TV cartoon series ??
Marc Peabody
pie sneak
Sheriff

Joined: Feb 05, 2003
Posts: 4727

Originally posted by Tony Alicea:
Whatever happened to the short lived Dilbert TV cartoon series ??

It lives with me in the land of things that are not funny.
 
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