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Stephen Wright-isms

Bert Bates
author
Sheriff

Joined: Oct 14, 2002
Posts: 8829
    
    5
You can't have everything... where would you put it?


When I was a child we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only child... eventually


I have the world's largest sea shell collection. Maybe you've seen it... I store it on beaches


I just bought some dehydrated water but I don't know what to add


I have a map of the US but it's hard to fold... the scale is 1" = 1"


When you buy a bag of cotton balls are you supposed to throw out the top one?


Spot false dilemmas now, ask me how!
(If you're not on the edge, you're taking up too much room.)
Anand Hariharan
Rancher

Joined: Aug 22, 2006
Posts: 257

Originally posted by Bert Bates:
When I was a child we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only child... eventually
[/QB]


Future JVM implementations better watch out ("quick sandbox")...


"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Mark Spritzler
ranger
Sheriff

Joined: Feb 05, 2001
Posts: 17257
    
    6

More.

"It's a small world. But I'd hate to paint it."

"I have all the erasers to all the miniature golf pencils in the world"

"One day I accidently tried to open my house's front door with my car ignition key. The house started up, so I took it for a spin. I was driving down the Highway yelling at everyone to get off my driveway"


Mark


Perfect World Programming, LLC - Two Laptop Bag - Tube Organizer
How to Ask Questions the Smart Way FAQ
Bob Reardon
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jun 01, 2000
Posts: 160
More...

One night I couldn't sleep so I got up. I went down to the corner store, because I new it was open 24 hours.
When I got there I saw the owner locking up.
I said "What are you doing, I thought this store was open 24 hours."
He looked at me and said, "Not in a row."

The other night when I got home, I noticed the power was out in my house. I couldn't find a flash light, but I did find my camera with an electronic flash. I used it to make a snack. Now I have 36 pictures of me making a sandwich. The neighbors called to tell me they saw lightning in my house.

Last January I was on a ski lift with this guy. He said he was looking forward to going sking because he was away for so long. I asked where did he go. He said he was in prison for 20 years for pushing a perfect stranger off of a ski lift. I said "I remember you."

I once lived in a house that was run on static electricity. If you wanted to turn on a light, you had to take a sweater off real fast.


-Bob
Doug Slattery
Ranch Hand

Joined: Sep 15, 2007
Posts: 294
I have a museum. It contains the missing arms and legs of statues from other museums.

Aloha,
Doug

-- Nothing is impossible if I'mPossible
Ben Souther
Sheriff

Joined: Dec 11, 2004
Posts: 13410

"24 hour banking; I don't have time for that"


Java API J2EE API Servlet Spec JSP Spec How to ask a question... Simple Servlet Examples jsonf
marc weber
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Posts: 11343

Once I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

The other day I... Oh, wait. That wasn't me.

I just drove across the country. I only had one tape, so I kept listening to the same thing over and over. I don't recall what it was.
[ February 02, 2008: Message edited by: marc weber ]

"We're kind of on the level of crossword puzzle writers... And no one ever goes to them and gives them an award." ~Joe Strummer
sscce.org
marc weber
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Posts: 11343

Originally posted by Mark Spritzler:
..."One day I accidently tried to open my house's front door with my car ignition key. The house started up, so I took it for a spin. I was driving down the Highway yelling at everyone to get off my driveway"...

A cop pulled me over and asked where I lived. I said, "Right here."
Gregg Bolinger
GenRocket Founder
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 11, 2001
Posts: 15299
    
    6

"Sponges grow in the ocean. That kills me. I wonder how much bigger the ocean would be if that didn't happen."

"So I got off the plain and I forgot to undo my seatbelt. I'm walking through the terminal and wings are knocking people over."


GenRocket - Experts at Building Test Data
Frank Silbermann
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jun 06, 2002
Posts: 1387
Emo Phillips had a similar style. I liked when he said:

"Don't talk to me about women; I know all about women. I learned about women the hard way -- from books."
Bert Bates
author
Sheriff

Joined: Oct 14, 2002
Posts: 8829
    
    5
I bought a pack of batteries... but they weren't included
Gail Mikels
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 07, 2001
Posts: 634
I woke up one morning and everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact duplicate.



Gail Mikels
Glen Tanner
Ranch Hand

Joined: Apr 16, 1999
Posts: 147

"I'm having deja vu and amnesia at the same time."
marc weber
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Posts: 11343

I have a half twin.
 
wood burning stoves
 
subject: Stephen Wright-isms