File APIs for Java Developers
Manipulate DOC, XLS, PPT, PDF and many others from your application.
http://aspose.com/file-tools
The moose likes Meaningless Drivel and the fly likes Philosophers stone Big Moose Saloon
  Search | Java FAQ | Recent Topics | Flagged Topics | Hot Topics | Zero Replies
Register / Login
JavaRanch » Java Forums » Other » Meaningless Drivel
Bookmark "Philosophers stone" Watch "Philosophers stone" New topic
Author

Philosophers stone

Maneesh Godbole
Saloon Keeper

Joined: Jul 26, 2007
Posts: 10535
    
    9

In case you didn't know, a [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosopher's_stone]philosopher's stone[/url] is a stone which can turn base metals (say lead) into gold.

Over the ages, man has thrived to get rich quick. The philosopher's stone is a prime example. Well the good news is that I have managed to figure out how to turn base metals into gold and I am willing to share it with you.
If you remember your school chemistry, you already know that the basic difference between elements is the number of electrons. If you also remember your school physics, electricity is nothing but the flow of electrons.
That's it then. If you start with sodium (very easy to obtain, every day salt is sodium chloride) and apply huge amounts of electricity, I am sure some of the electrons will be attracted towards the sodium atom and eventually it will turn to Magnesium...to Potassium...to Calcium and so forth. Just work your way up in the periodic table till you hit Gold.

I would do this myself (ha! and you thought I was a saint to let you in on this secret), but the city I live in, is currently facing power outages. I expect 5% of the Gold value as royalty. Interested people may ping me for my paypal account details.


[How to ask questions] [Donate a pint, save a life!] [Onff-turn it on!]
Henry Wong
author
Sheriff

Joined: Sep 28, 2004
Posts: 19064
    
  40

Yea... but doesn't that get you Sodium with a lot of electrons? You also need to add Protons and Neutrons to get gold...

Henry


Books: Java Threads, 3rd Edition, Jini in a Nutshell, and Java Gems (contributor)
Maneesh Godbole
Saloon Keeper

Joined: Jul 26, 2007
Posts: 10535
    
    9

Henry Wong wrote:Yea... but doesn't that get you Sodium with a lot of electrons? You also need to add Protons and Neutrons to get gold...
Henry


I am supposed to figure out that part too? Come on! Give me a break
Deepak Bala
Bartender

Joined: Feb 24, 2006
Posts: 6662
    
    5

Maneesh Godbole wrote:
Henry Wong wrote:Yea... but doesn't that get you Sodium with a lot of electrons? You also need to add Protons and Neutrons to get gold...
Henry


I am supposed to figure out that part too? Come on! Give me a break


Well Duh ! Just buy them at your local super market and sprinkle as necessary


SCJP 6 articles - SCJP 5/6 mock exams - More SCJP Mocks
W. Joe Smith
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 10, 2009
Posts: 710
Deepak Bala wrote:
Maneesh Godbole wrote:
Henry Wong wrote:Yea... but doesn't that get you Sodium with a lot of electrons? You also need to add Protons and Neutrons to get gold...
Henry


I am supposed to figure out that part too? Come on! Give me a break


Well Duh ! Just buy them at your local super market and sprinkle as necessary


And if you have trouble maintaining the cohesion of your nucleus, just slap some duct tape on it!


SCJA
When I die, I want people to look at me and say "Yeah, he might have been crazy, but that was one zarkin frood that knew where his towel was."
Maneesh Godbole
Saloon Keeper

Joined: Jul 26, 2007
Posts: 10535
    
    9

Duct tape is know to behave erratically under such circumstances. I would recommend gum.
fred rosenberger
lowercase baba
Bartender

Joined: Oct 02, 2003
Posts: 11499
    
  16

Maneesh Godbole wrote:If you remember your school chemistry, you already know that the basic difference between elements is the number of electrons.

Perhaps, but if you remember your high school chemistry CORRECTLY, it is ONLY the number of protons that determines what an element is - not the electrons.


There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors
Arvind Mahendra
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 14, 2007
Posts: 1162
fred rosenberger wrote:
Maneesh Godbole wrote:If you remember your school chemistry, you already know that the basic difference between elements is the number of electrons.

Perhaps, but if you remember your high school chemistry CORRECTLY, it is ONLY the number of protons that determines what an element is - not the electrons.


Marc Weber minored in Chemistry so maybe he can provide some input to put this debate to rest but I think he is on vacation he hasn't been posting much lately here.


I want to be like marc
Ernest Friedman-Hill
author and iconoclast
Marshal

Joined: Jul 08, 2003
Posts: 24187
    
  34

I have a Ph.D. in Chemistry* and I can verify that Maneesh's proposal is 100% correct. Unfortunately, it's a huge secret preserved by the Illuminati over the centuries, and now that he knows, he cannot be allowed to tell anyone. A fleet of black vans has already been dispatched to his house.

-------

* This part is actually true


[Jess in Action][AskingGoodQuestions]
Arvind Mahendra
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jul 14, 2007
Posts: 1162
Ernest Friedman-Hill wrote:I have a Ph.D. in Chemistry* and I can verify that Maneesh's proposal is 100% correct. Unfortunately, it's a huge secret preserved by the Illuminati over the centuries, and now that he knows, he cannot be allowed to tell anyone. A fleet of black vans has already been dispatched to his house.

-------

* This part is actually true


I didn't know you were a Doctor. You have alot of talents too, and most certainly are a genius- I have seen your artwork and I have to say your sense of humor is par excellence, and of course you are an esteemed author also just to name a few of your talents. The number of geniuses at Javaranch is just beyond belief. If I can accomplish just 1/10th of everything you have achieved I would consider myself lucky if it even remotely possible to be like you?
Deepak Bala
Bartender

Joined: Feb 24, 2006
Posts: 6662
    
    5

A fleet of black vans has already been dispatched to his house.




Whoa man that really cracked me up. Thanks EFH.

When I saw the red star I thought it would read - 'Conditions apply'.

Anyways, while you guys were busy trying to play around with protons electrons and bind it all with duct tape, I asked Harry Potter to fax me the philosopher's stone via email. It should reach me any moment now. Muhahahaha !
Vikas Kapoor
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 16, 2007
Posts: 1374
Arvind, your sig could be something like I want to be like Marc,EFH,Bear,Ulf,Jeanne,...(I'll complete the list later). They all are very versatile. You can learn from them through JR.
W. Joe Smith
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 10, 2009
Posts: 710
Deepak Bala wrote:
A fleet of black vans has already been dispatched to his house.




Whoa man that really cracked me up. Thanks EFH.

When I saw the red star I thought it would read - 'Conditions apply'.

Anyways, while you guys were busy trying to play around with protons electrons and bind it all with duct tape, I asked Harry Potter to fax me the philosopher's stone via email. It should reach me any moment now. Muhahahaha !


Too bad you contact the lame American Harry Potter and will be getting the (virtually) worthless Sorcerer's Stone instead.
Monu Tripathi
Rancher

Joined: Oct 12, 2008
Posts: 1369
    
    1

......Unfortunately, it's a huge secret preserved by the Illuminati over the centuries, and now that he knows, he cannot be allowed to tell anyone. A fleet of black vans has already been dispatched to his house.


Mission update: EFH, last I checked they all got stuck in a big pot hole! Do you have a plan B?


@Maneesh: I have no doubt in your theory; just one question
Did you have your drinking glass anywhere near when starting this thread?


[List of FAQs] | [Android FAQ] | [Samuh Varta]
Bear Bibeault
Author and ninkuma
Marshal

Joined: Jan 10, 2002
Posts: 61766
    
  67

Monu Tripathi wrote:Do you have a plan B?

Black helicopters!


[Asking smart questions] [Bear's FrontMan] [About Bear] [Books by Bear]
Maneesh Godbole
Saloon Keeper

Joined: Jul 26, 2007
Posts: 10535
    
    9

Monu Tripathi wrote:Mission update: EFH, last I checked they all got stuck in a big pot hole! Do you have a plan B?


Meh!
That is the official story, touted by the Illuminati to save face. Because of the power cuts I mentioned, there is not enough illumination for the Illuminati to carry out their sleazy schemes.
Besides, I promised the guys in the black vans a slice of the loot. They work for me now.

Jules Bach
Ranch Hand

Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Posts: 71
Lead into Gold? Why on earth would you want to do that?

Gold into Lead sounds much more exciting!

197Au + n → 198Au (halflife 2.7 days) → 198Hg + n → 199Hg + n → 200Hg + n → 201Hg + n → 202Hg + n → 203Hg (halflife 47 days) → 203Tl + n → 204Tl (halflife 3.8 years) → 204Pb (halflife 1.4x1017 years)

Not a chemist, but a wikipediaholic...Convert gold into lead via neutron capture and beta decay
Paul Yule
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 12, 2008
Posts: 229
Ernest Friedman-Hill wrote:
* This part is actually true


Wait, are you implying the rest is not true?
Jesper de Jong
Java Cowboy
Saloon Keeper

Joined: Aug 16, 2005
Posts: 14432
    
  23

Maneesh Godbole wrote:I would do this myself (ha! and you thought I was a saint to let you in on this secret), but the city I live in, is currently facing power outages.

That's going to be a problem, because you're going to need a lot of power, and a device like this. Don't expect to get a lot of gold quickly however, you'll be making the gold atom by atom.


Java Beginners FAQ - JavaRanch SCJP FAQ - The Java Tutorial - Java SE 8 API documentation
 
I agree. Here's the link: http://aspose.com/file-tools
 
subject: Philosophers stone