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kids

fred rosenberger
lowercase baba
Bartender

Joined: Oct 02, 2003
Posts: 11317
    
  16

My daughter (she's 5) came downstairs today, and said to my wife:

"My tummy hurts. TV will help."

a few weeks ago, we were driving home. Again, she said her tummy hurt. I asked her if a piece of candy would help make it feel better. her reply:

"Nothing will help. Only (my tv) shows."

it's hard not to laugh sometimes.


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Preeti Arora
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 26, 2007
Posts: 74
Hi,

Good one!
My 4 yr old also getting witty day by day.
I asked him to pray to God for lot of happiness everyday and I do the same.
He turned and asked me Mommy are you Happy Now?
Once I asked him whether you want a new baby or a dog in the house?
He replied Dog .I asked him why not baby.He replied because dog will bite the baby!
Kids have cool sense of humor!
Doug Slattery
Ranch Hand

Joined: Sep 15, 2007
Posts: 294
This happened to me over 10 years ago when my daughter was barely 2. Me and my then wife were driving discussing a problem she was having. She was getting frustrated and swore "$h17". From my 2 year old in the back seat comes "Mommy! Don't say $h17! $h17 is bad word!"

I couldn't decide whether to bust out laughing or grab a bar of soap.

Aloha,
Doug

-- Nothing is impossible if I'mPossible
Ben Souther
Sheriff

Joined: Dec 11, 2004
Posts: 13410

At 5, my daughter asked my wife when she was going to get to have a husband.
My wife asked what she was going to do with one so she made a list:

  • He will pet my cat and she will purr
  • We will go to church and listen to the music
  • We will visit some cows
  • I will share my lovely things with him (even baby)
  • And we will lie in the lovely sun
  • And sing lovely songs
  • And I will make coffee for you and my husband
  • And I will have oatmeal for breakfast with my husband
  • And I will give him wine and coke
  • I will let him look at the gourds
  • I won't let him pick on me
  • And I won't let him bug the neighbors
  • I'll make him sit at the table and not stand on a chair
  • I will make him biscuits and bunny buns
  • I will teach him not to pick his nose
  • And not to lick things in restaurants
  • And not to stick his head in the cheese
  • And everyday we will have a husband and wife dance party


  • Luckily she wrote it down so we can read it at her wedding
    [ March 18, 2008: Message edited by: Ben Souther ]

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    Gail Mikels
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: May 07, 2001
    Posts: 634
    Yay - my turn. When my daughter was in Kindergarten, the school had a "DARE" program (drug education), and they asked the kids to bring home a small pledge to read & sign with parents. I asked her if she knew what the pledge meant. She replied, "It means I promise to never do drugs again!!!"

    Atta girl!


    Gail Mikels
    Paul Clapham
    Bartender

    Joined: Oct 14, 2005
    Posts: 18570
        
        8

    I sleep in the side of the bed nearest the door. When my daughter was about 4, she came into our room in the middle of the night, leaned over me, and said:

    "Daddy, I think I'm going to throw up."

    So I carefully said:

    "Then go across the hall and throw up into the toilet."

    As it turned out, it was a false alarm.
    Bear Bibeault
    Author and ninkuma
    Marshal

    Joined: Jan 10, 2002
    Posts: 61226
        
      66

    The first time I drove up to my brother's house on my motorcycle, I heard my (then 4 year old) nephew yell: "Mommy! Mommy! A bad man's here!"

    Ah, the power of the media.


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    Bear Bibeault
    Author and ninkuma
    Marshal

    Joined: Jan 10, 2002
    Posts: 61226
        
      66

    Overheard in the grocery store, and clearly directed at me, a 5 or 6 year old girl: "Mommy, that man's head is on upside down!"

    Context:
    Alan Wanwierd
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Jun 30, 2004
    Posts: 624
    Last weekend my entire extended family went for a weekend away from the city at a quiet little rural beachside town in northern NSW.

    Whilst out and about at one stage (while I wasnt there) a young girl (around 10yrs old) stared brazenly at my wife, inlaws and daughters before asking "how come they are normal?" (pointing at my 3yr and 1yr old daughters).

    This caused some confusion but after a bit of a discussion it became clear that my wife and inlaws Philipino appearance had confued her - particularly as my kids, being half caucasian, didnt share the distinctive darker skin and therefore couldnt be "chinese" !

    She then followed up this question (after some discussion remember) with a classic: "So - can you speak English?"

    Strange that in modern Australia someone can grow up still thinking that White=normal and being so intrigued and transfixed seeing an asian family!
    Doug Slattery
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Sep 15, 2007
    Posts: 294
    Speaking of the Philippines...

    My ex is Filipino and I've been to the Philippines once about 20 years ago. We traveled a very long two days through the mountains from the airport in Manila on a jeepney to get to her home town.

    When we got there, all the neighborhood kids (about a couple hundred) gathered around the vehicle and were staring at *me*. They'd grown up only around Filipinos and I was like something from outer space to them . Being a musician, that normally wouldn't bother me, but I wasn't with a band and didn't bring any gear . I felt a bit naked and uncomfortable, thinking "Didn't these kids learn it's not polite to stare?"

    After a while, they got bored and used to me and went back to being kids.

    Aloha,
    Doug

    -- Nothing is impossible if I'mPossible
    [ March 19, 2008: Message edited by: Doug Slattery ]
    Doug Slattery
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Sep 15, 2007
    Posts: 294
    I'm on a roll now...

    A few years ago, a couple of young brothers (one ~ 8, the other ~ 6) used to come over and hang out when I was working in the garage. At first I didn't mind.

    They started pulling my leg and asking for ice water, soda, candy, etc. so they didn't have to go home and get it. After a while, the older brother realized it and gave up. He stopped hanging out.

    The younger brother came over one day whining that his older brother was going to beat him up. Well, I politely told him in my sarcastic way "Can I watch?" with a smart a$$ smile on my face. He grinned back and said "No" in a subservient way. After that, no more leg pulling .

    Aloha,
    Doug

    -- Nothing is impossible if I'mPossible
    Doug Slattery
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Sep 15, 2007
    Posts: 294
    Ok, last one for tonight...

    When my now grown up (by age only) son was young, he got into the garage and found where I keep my spray paint. I guess he didn't like the color of the tv and painted it green (mostly the screen). I told him that I hoped he liked "green" because that's what was going to be on tv for a long time.

    Well, he learned his lesson on that one, and his next endeavor was to pour ammonia in the vacuum cleaner because it will help keep the house clean grrrrr.

    Note to over protective parents: He was old enough to know that paint and ammonia are poisonous "Mr. Yuck" things.

    Aloha,
    Doug

    -- Nothing is impossible if I'mPossible
    Ayub ali khan
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Oct 20, 2005
    Posts: 380
        
        2
    Hi,

    I am not married so I am going to tell about myself. As told by my parents, when I was about 5 or 6 yrs. I had gone to my relatives house. There when I was sitting outside the house few monkeys were around and fascinated by them, I cought one monkey's tail. Monkey in turn caught my head and started pulling it by hair.My relatives ran and rescued me

    ---
    Ayub


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    sunil choudhary
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Nov 10, 2000
    Posts: 141

    My Sound system stopped working I took it to an electrician Who called me A day later and told me he found coins inside.

    It turned out my niece was using sound system as her piggy bank and coins had short circuited the internals.


    "Learning is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily." -Chinese Proverb
    Joe Ess
    Bartender

    Joined: Oct 29, 2001
    Posts: 8909
        
        8

    Originally posted by sunil choudhary:
    It turned out my niece was using sound system as her piggy bank and coins had short circuited the internals.


    I used to let my 3-year old son play in my car if I were nearby (working in the garage or yard). Once, I went to check on him and he's taking coins from the ashtray and feeding them into the tape player. It's been 8 months and no short-circuit, but he's not allowed to play in the car anymore. . .


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    Frank Silbermann
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: Jun 06, 2002
    Posts: 1387
    Originally posted by Alan Wanwierd:
    Whilst out and about at one stage (while I wasnt there) a young girl (around 10yrs old) stared brazenly at my wife, inlaws and daughters before asking "how come they are normal?" (pointing at my 3yr and 1yr old daughters).

    This caused some confusion but after a bit of a discussion it became clear that my wife and inlaws Philipino appearance had confued her - particularly as my kids, being half caucasian, didnt share the distinctive darker skin and therefore couldnt be "chinese" !

    When my oldest daughter was a pre-schooler we were in downtown New Orleans, and she asked my wife, "How come some people are brown, but we're orange?"
    Joe Ess
    Bartender

    Joined: Oct 29, 2001
    Posts: 8909
        
        8

    Originally posted by Frank Silbermann:
    . . . but we're orange?"


    Frank =
    George Harris
    Ranch Hand

    Joined: May 05, 2003
    Posts: 84
    One day my 3 year old daughter was trying to Negotiate a much better deal for dinner, the number of bites required to get a dessert. I commented to my wife that she was going to grow up to be a lawyer.

    My daughter looks very cross at me and asks "did you call me a liar?"

    I wasn't sure how to answer that....
     
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