This week's book giveaway is in the OCPJP forum. We're giving away four copies of OCA/OCP Java SE 7 Programmer I & II Study Guide and have Kathy Sierra & Bert Bates on-line! See this thread for details.
For development : mongrel, which is single threaded & lightweight
For deployment : Passenger running on apache (most web hosting providers provide this) or nginx web server.
If you are looking for scalability, I'd suggest Heroku or Rackspace cloud as scaling is done behind the scenes by them.
In Ruby, performance management is something that is generally best left to container. Unlike java, not much tweaking is possible, but loosely speaking, performance of the rails apps. have been satisfactory with medium-high traffic usage.