Execution in the Kingdom of Nouns - Thoughts and what is means

[john price]

Please read this article I found (it is a bit long, will take 5-15 minutes to read. It is a story talking about Java and comparing it to other languages) :
http://steve-yegge.blogspot.com/2006/03/execution-in-kingdom-of-nouns.html

NOTE: I didn't know where to put this, so I put it here.

Let me know if this is what you thought (I am kind of confused) :
He is saying Java doesn't have closures (Java 8).
He is saying that Java can't implement machine language (thank goodness).
I don't get what else he is saying. I don't see his point. I know Java isn't the "all-purpose language", but is it really that bad?
If you could tell me what he is talking about, that would be excellent. If he has a valid point, I would like to know.

while (truth > feelGood) {
System.out.println(truthToBeTold);
}

Thanks,
cc11rocks