I do not believe that relative is the droid position you're looking for.
Joined: Aug 04, 2011
Wow Bear your Jedi mind trick worked on my browser. Setting position to 'absolute' did the trick. I don't know why I was set on 'relative' being correct. I still don't understand the behavior, but Many Thanks!
Edit: Premature celebration- the script only behaves correctly in Firefox. In Chrome, IE, and Opera, its behavior is the same as if position were set to relative.