I am not sure if this is the right forum to post this.But please do let me know you thoughts
I am a developer working in India..Nothing great about me,but I am just getting paid a little more( may be 30%) than a average developer of my experience and I believe I am pretty good in my job,but nothing extraordinary to boast about myself..
I think I could have achieved a lot in my life,but I made some serious mistakes in my life and I am now regretting for my mistakes.To be frank I was technically a virgin, but I wasted a lot of my sexual energy in self-indulgence and I can relate to the damages due to it from my own personal experience.
Till 10th grade I was a little better than some of my other class-mates..I started involving in self indulgence a lot from 7th grade..The guys I am trying to compare are very disciplined guys and they never tried self indulgence at least as far as I know,but I believe they had the same IQ level that I had
The results was evident after 12 th grade many of the guys whom I thought were my IQ level cracked IIT and joined good colleges like IIT,Bits-Pilani etc.But I joined a very normal engineering college,because most of my precious time I had wasted in unwanted thoughts and indulging in the bad habit.Further from there on,they joined good colleges like Stanford,Mit,Purdue,Cornell etc.. for their Mba or MS/Phd are now doing very well in their professional life...They are now reputed researchers or leaders in their own field..But I continued my bad habit and I am now just an ordinary team-lead.
Though whatever I posted may sound absurd or stupid to many of you,this really bothers me..Can atleast 1 of you relate to me.?..Now When I got the opportunityto get back in touch with some of them I can understand the difference between my career and their career...They have developed exceptional communication skills and their thought process is more intense,mature and complex and they have filed patents,started companies or have achieved something great and have made a mark in their field...My achievements are zero when I were to benchmark myself against them
I am now 29 years old and I atleast now I want to regain my lost vitality and achieve a sharper IQ and I want to improve my thought process and my intellect..What do you think I should do
I heard great scholars and intellects like Isaac Newton,Thomas Alwa Edison,Maths genius Ramanujam,Swami Vivekanda etc.. achieved greatness in life because they did not waste their vital energy..I was also browsing some web pages related to this and found some people agreeing with it..
I am not sure how much of truth is in it..But when I compare my friends achievements with my achievements I believe there is some truth in it..I atleast now want to mend my wrong course and go in the right way and try to achieve greatness like my friends..But I am not sure if it too late..
Please don't laugh at my post,but do give me some suggestions on how to change my life..Thanks everyone for reading this..
Celibacy is important to one career: that of a Catholic Priest.
Not sure its really all that important to many others.
Moderation in all things, including moderation.
Joined: May 26, 2008
Cracking interviews is not big deal..
I am speaking about something big than cracking interviews in life..say something like a discovery and a radical invention,thinking out of box etc,starting a company with a big idea etc..
I just think the fact that I have not done any of this is because of my mistakes..
You'd recently posted a couple of comments regarding this on my blog/website, with a link here. Here are my two cents.
For one, while I appreciate your admiration for what I've accomplished, I can say with absolute certainty that sex had no bearing on my work or my interests -- if anything, it was perhaps a positive influence. While obsessing too much with something can sometimes have its negative effects, going the other way can be just as bad.
But any teenage boy would be lying if he said that the topmost thought in his head wasn't sex. It's the age when our hormones rage, and there's nothing particularly wrong or strange about it - if anything, it's normal, and part of who we are. I certainly had my fair share of "self indulgence" and "real indulgence" in the past 15 years.
I would say that getting laid changed me for the better (it first happened when I was 17 and in college). Once you start getting laid regularly, you stop spending too much time thinking about it, because you already have an outlet. And when girls pay attention, you become more confident, and more aggressive and determined in what you want to accomplish in life. Restraining yourself will only result in frustration, and without an outlet for your body's hormonal surges.
I noticed a strong undercurrent of religion and morality in your comments - I cannot speak for your views, but to me, the Victorian-esque attitude that denies the pleasures of sex is denying what is perhaps the greatest pleasure mankind has ever known.
You quoted several names, but let me also tell you that the likes of Einstein, Kennedy, and Nehru were also notorious skirt chasers.
At the end of the day, I would have to say that sex has been a positive influence on me and my life. Once I realized women liked well built men (and trust me, it took grad school in the US for this to really sink in), I started working out regularly. Working out is one of those things that is really quite good once you get into the groove. It improves your concentration, it boosts your self confidence, and it gives an outlet for your testosterone while boosting it. I reached a point where I had changed mentally and physically, and being in shape meant that getting girls was not hard. And once you start getting laid, you can quite easily concentrate on other things because, well, your most important want is taken care of. And this attitude translated to everything that I did.
So, here's my advice for you. Stop worrying about silly things in life. You just have one life, and it is pointless to compare yourself against other people. Do what makes you happy. Travel, see the world, learn new things, meet new people. Work out regularly, or at least, participate in a competitive sport because it boosts your self confidence (and you get in good shape). Meet women, and get laid. Having had my fair share of gorgeous women across all ethnicities and parts of the world, let me say that nothing can quite beat the exhilaration of meeting a new girl and working your way through to getting laid. Read. Learn a new foreign language. Play a musical instrument. Learn to dance. And you'll find that once you start doing all these other things, you are less distracted by the vagaries of life, and that your new perspective will improve your work ethic and your productivity. And most importantly, you'll be happy.
Yes you have at least one person who relates to you.
I have gone through a period in my life where i was comparing myself to my peers and felt i am left far behind.
Well, i learned that i can sit and stare at their Linkedin profiles and feel bad about myself or give myself a jumpstart, make right (career) choices from now on and place myself where i belong ....
have a plan ... what you want to do ... think how you are going to achieve it, get necessary help and work on it.
Enjoy every little progress you made in achieving it. And most importantly, BE HAPPY.
subject: Celibacy and its relation to success and greatness in career and life