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Fast food?

Ben Souther
Sheriff

Joined: Dec 11, 2004
Posts: 13410

Welcome to blah blah blah.
My name is blah bha. I'll be taking your order today.
Would you like to try our special blah blah?

No. Thank you. I'd like a hamburger meal with a small drink.

Would you like cheese on that?

Wouldn't that be the cheeseburger meal?

I have to ask.

Understood. No Just the hamburger meal; no cheese.

Would you like to super-size that?

No thank you.

What size would you like that?

Small please.

We don't have small. We have medium, large,
and super-size.

Which is the smallest?

The medium.

Then I'll have that.

For thirty five cents more you can upgrade that to a large.
Would you like to do that?

No. Thank you. The small size will be fine.

What would you like to drink with that?

A bottled water, please.

We don't have bottled water. We have triple filtered water
at our fountain stations.

That will do.

What size would you like that?

Small, please.

We don't have small. We have medium large, and super size.

The smallest size you offer.

That would be the kiddie size.

Is that smaller than the medium?

Yes, but it's only available with the kid's meal.

Let's make that a medium.

Would you like to upgrade that to a large for twenty-five cents more?

No, please. Just a medium cup for me.

Would you like to try our new apple something-or-other dessert today?

No, thank you. Just the hamburger meal.

Okay, sir. I can do that for you.

Great.

Is that for here or to go?

For here.

Would you like salt, pepper, or ketchup with that?

No thanks, I can get that myself.

Do you have a rewards card with us?

No

Would you like to sign up for one today?

No, thank you.

It gives you 10% off your meals between blah and blah and you can
use your rewards points for free offers.

No thank you. I'd just like to pay for the hamburger meal and eat.

Okay, sir. I can do that for you. Would you like to donate a dollar to the blah blah fund today?

No, I gave at the office.

If you donate a dollar, you can put your name on a plate and hang it on our hall of fame bulletin board.

Sure, I'll donate a dollar. But don't bother with the plate, I'm running short on time now.

We can put anonymous on the plate for you.

What ever gets me out of here the fastest.

Okay, sir, I can see you're in a hurry. I'll get that for you now.

That will be $8.32. How will you be paying for that?

With this card.

Will that be credit or debit?

Credit.

Okay, sir. Hold on one moment while I get my manager to unlock the register.

...
Here you go, sir. Please sign here.

Sure.

Your number is 452, please wait at the next counter. Thank for coming to blah blah blah. We're always interested in hearing from our
patrons so that we can serve you better. Would you like to fill out our survey?

No, thank you. You did fine.

By filling out the survey, you enter yourself to win a free blah blah blah in our drawing.

Just the receipt please.

Thank you, sir, I hope you have a great lunch.

Thank you.


Jeesh....


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Seetharaman Venkatasamy
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 28, 2008
Posts: 5575

hilarious!
Bear Bibeault
Author and ninkuma
Marshal

Joined: Jan 10, 2002
Posts: 61106
    
  66

You forgot the ending where the order comes out all wrong...


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Martin Vajsar
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 22, 2010
Posts: 3610
    
  60

"Fast food"?

This kind of business obviously finds it hard to choose fitting names. One of these chains introduced something like a baguette under the name of "Longer". It was actually the shortest baguette I've ever seen....
Ravi Shankarappa
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 09, 2010
Posts: 55
Hilarious!
Anayonkar Shivalkar
Bartender

Joined: Dec 08, 2010
Posts: 1505
    
    5

This is the reason why I like roadside 'cheap' snack houses.
Advantages:
1) You can do other things than eating - reading books, studying, discussing, finishing homework etc. Once you take a corner seat, nobody bothers you. I've finished reading few novels just like that! And wrote few methods of OCMJD assignment
2) No privacy. If a chair is vacant, you can take it. So, it may happen that at a table, there are 8 people sitting and nobody knows other 7.
3) Even with such complications, there is never any problem with bill. All you'll need to do is - after you finish, get up, go to the counter, tell them what you've eaten and the guy (there are no girls there - at least I've never seen any ) will not even question you - he'll just accept the money. Once I was thinking hard about something, and after eating, I simply forgot to pay. I paid the next time - that too, voluntarily - the guy didn't even mentioned that
4) Its dirt cheap. 2$ and you are done for your day.
5) A table boy comes at your place and ask you about order - or otherwise, you can yell the order at high pitch. He doesn't call you 'sir', but he also doesn't bother you about useless questions like 'do you want blah blah with your order'.
6) If its morning time, you can simply borrow somebody's newspaper to read. I've never had any problem with this - every time I ask, somebody gives me the paper to read, and every time I lend paper to somebody, after few minutes, I get it back - with all the pages intact!
7) You can meet all kind of funny people there - once I met an old man who couldn't believe that I don't have a girlfriend and we had a nice 45 minutes talk about girls and literature and world economy and so on

Disadvantages:
1) No cards accepted. Only cash.
2) These places are NOT ok for a date. This of course depends - if you don't mind a date where there are 4 other people sitting at same table, staring at you and listening to every word you speak. But people are very OK. No vulgarity, no fighting, no nasty comments (common, this is not a country bar )
3) Noisy. Most of the time, it is very difficult to attend calls sitting at such places. Someone is always talking or yelling.
4) Addictive. Once you start going to these places, you'll never go to anything else. Food is awesome, and you'll really like it. Only thing is - your friends etc. might give you surprising look saying "you go to 'that' place?"
5) Unhygienic. For 2$, don't expect Italian cutlery, or even table cloth. These places are dirty, which makes your immunity system pretty strong. You might get stomach ache for the first time, but once you get habitual to it, its worth


Regards,
Anayonkar Shivalkar (SCJP, SCWCD, OCMJD, OCEEJBD)
Mandar Khire
Ranch Hand

Joined: Sep 11, 2007
Posts: 492

Many people spend their time for doing this & some spend for listening very carefully this
"Blah Blah"

...my response on this
"Blah Blah"
.


Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why.
Jeanne Boyarsky
internet detective
Marshal

Joined: May 26, 2003
Posts: 30404
    
150

You should visit fast food in New York City. I rarely get suggested an upgrade. The only thing we get is "what else" even if you've ordered a lot of items. Not "Can I get you anything else"; that would be too many syllables. When I was younger my family was eating at Burger King while they were training new hires. They explicitly told them not to say "what else". In practice, they all do though.

The fastest fast food I've ever had is Subway Sandwiches in Lower Manhattan during the weekday lunch. They've optimized the process to make it an assembly line. You speak to:
  • bread person
  • meat person
  • cheese person
  • lettuce person
  • other veggies person
  • condiments person
  • cashier


  • When I go to Subway elsewhere I order "extra lettuce" after the other veggies (so it is mixed more.) I tried that here and the "other veggies" person informed me I already spoke to the lettuce guy and should have asked for it then. While this isn't good customer service, I do understand why they do it. It is the only place I can get and pay for food that fast. My company cafeteria takes over twice as long.


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    Bear Bibeault
    Author and ninkuma
    Marshal

    Joined: Jan 10, 2002
    Posts: 61106
        
      66

    There's a lettuce union?




    Ben Souther
    Sheriff

    Joined: Dec 11, 2004
    Posts: 13410

    Jeanne,
    The Subways up here don't have separate people but it might be better if they did.
    Here is the typical script for a Subway trip for me.

    What can I get for you?


    Hi, can I have a 6" roast beef with lettuce, tomato's, and provolone cheese on the Italian bread?


    What kind of bread?


    Italian,


    What kind of meat?


    Roast beef.


    Do you want cheese with that?


    And so on, and so on until I've repeated every ingredient from the first sentence.
    Bear Bibeault
    Author and ninkuma
    Marshal

    Joined: Jan 10, 2002
    Posts: 61106
        
      66

    There's a Subway right at the bottom of the hill where I live, so I go there for sandwiches fairly often.

    They're really nice, but I have learned to order in stages.

    What can I get you?


    Two 12-inchers on 9-grain Oat.


    What kind for the first?


    Turkey


    Cheese?


    Provolone


    Toasted?


    Please


    (sandwich gets made and toasted)

    Veggies?


    Lettuce and tomato


    and so on...

    Waiting until they ask seems to make the process go much smoother.
    Jeanne Boyarsky
    internet detective
    Marshal

    Joined: May 26, 2003
    Posts: 30404
        
    150

    Bear Bibeault wrote:There's a lettuce union?



    Ben Souther wrote:Jeanne,
    The Subways up here don't have separate people but it might be better if they did.

    Ours don't either if you go elsewhere/another time. It's only in Manhattan that they do. It is a process improvement thing. If you literally have to serve hundreds of people per hour for two hours, there isn't time to be inefficient. I've seen them get through 10 people in 5 minutes though. It is very impressive.

    When I go to my local Subway on a weekend, there are two people there. One makes subs and the other mans the cashier. And yes, we do ingredients one at a time. There I get to ask for my extra lettuce at the end though.
     
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