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They say Attitude Problem

Arun Giridhar
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Joined: Mar 10, 2012
Posts: 146

Hello Guys,

Got Fed Up this is my 2nd Company in a year , i was Fired when i asked my Manager on Feed back he said i'm not Proactive and i have attitude problem . I didn't understand could someone help me out please and the Colleagues were very bad they took everything from me in return i got nothing . Life is Hopeless. Please help me out . I really don't know what to do . When they fired me all my senses be Numb . What will i do ? Hopeless , please someone Help!

Thank You


hate Professionalism
Brian Percival
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jun 23, 2004
Posts: 163
Too little information.. May be check with your friends what they think of you, to get a honest opinion?
William P O'Sullivan
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 28, 2012
Posts: 859

Go through your history on this board.

You have posted many times about being unhappy with live, work etc..

To be honest, I think you need some help.

WP
Arun Giridhar
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 10, 2012
Posts: 146

William P O'Sullivan wrote:Go through your history on this board.

You have posted many times about being unhappy with live, work etc..

To be honest, I think you need some help.

WP



Yes! i don't know from where will i get , i have given upon me.
Richard Tookey
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 27, 2012
Posts: 1053
    
  10

Arun Giridhar wrote:
William P O'Sullivan wrote:Go through your history on this board.

You have posted many times about being unhappy with live, work etc..

To be honest, I think you need some help.

WP



Yes! i don't know from where will i get , i have given upon me.


I don't know where you live but you must surely go and see your doctor. The chances are he won't be able to provide direct help but he will be able to put you in touch with someone who can help.
vijay jamadade
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 12, 2008
Posts: 241
Even my managers say this to me. But not at this extent. They say i am bold, but they did respect me because of technical skills and good work. I didn't get problems due to attitude. I am somewhat short tempered and can't tolerate if i dont like anything and its valid to talk. I used to speak up whatever or whoever concerned person. If you can put some case people here will help you sure.


Regards, Vijay Jamadade.
( Nothing is Impossible.)
Arun Giridhar
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 10, 2012
Posts: 146

I have no friends in my life (live alone), the only friend i have is javaranch (aka ranchers) and i don't know many things ..... I was developing Technical skills (Many people were much better then me technically).
chris webster
Bartender

Joined: Mar 01, 2009
Posts: 1701
    
  14

Have you thought of changing direction in your career? It sounds like IT might not be the right place for you - it's certainly not a happy place for you so far - so maybe you should think about alternatives?


No more Blub for me, thank you, Vicar.
Arun Giridhar
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 10, 2012
Posts: 146

chris webster wrote:Have you thought of changing direction in your career? It sounds like IT might not be the right place for you - it's certainly not a happy place for you so far - so maybe you should think about alternatives?


Hmmm ! IT is a fine place for me . It keep me saying something is wrong with you .Please correct it (I just want to do that change).
chris webster
Bartender

Joined: Mar 01, 2009
Posts: 1701
    
  14

Arun Giridhar wrote:[Hmmm ! IT is a fine place for me . It keep me saying something is wrong with you .Please correct it (I just want to do that change).

Not sure I understand your reply, but let me assure you that no offence was intended.

You have posted a number of times here about how you are unhappy with your working life, how one job "ends in disaster", how your bosses criticise you, how your workload is too much, how you don't like the work you're given, how you keep losing/leaving jobs, and so on. But many of the things you complain about are simple facts of life in the IT industry. If you really find these things so difficult, if they really make you so unhappy, why do you want to stay in the IT industry?

Figure that out first, and then maybe look at the things you've complained about and see if you can find a different way of dealing with those issues. Or find a different way to make a living that might make you happier. Your life, your choice, your responsibility.
arulk pillai
Author
Ranch Hand

Joined: May 31, 2007
Posts: 3219
It is hard to assess via a forum as to what areas you need to improve on. There are professionals who can coach you to get better in your career. You need someone face to face to improve your soft skills. Technical skills can be acquired through good books, quality blogs and other online resources.


Also, invest in self-help books that can motivate you. Good luck.


Java Interview Questions and Answers Blog | Amazon.com profile | Java Interview Books
Sai Surya
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 08, 2006
Posts: 459

Hi Arun,

I read your post. For me it looks like you're too stressed out in life! Everyone of us have many sorts of problems. Common problems are financial, family, children's health and their studies, job security and many unimaginable issues in life. Only one solution for all these problems is simple. Its the perspective, vision and choices. How you see your life in what perspective you see it. What is your vision? How you want to see yourself? What are your choices? All you need is ask yourself these questions and write down your answers.

I was in tough times and I'm sure everyone in this forum underwent testing times in their lives. Trust me dude, you're not alone. All you need is fighting spirit and postive attitude. The biggest secret is having positive attitude. Look at this video which always inspires me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo_24_qTNac

Ok. Coming back to reality, you lost the job. And someone said you've some problems. Tell you what, forget all this. Start afresh. I always believe in fresh starts. Improve your resume, start hunting a new job. Loosing a job or being insulted by someone is not the end of the world. Perhaps you should take few days break and go for trekking or any other stuff you really enjoy. Do it for few days, try to inject positiveness in your mind and body. Do workout, listen to your faviourite music, have a date with someone you love. All these things helps me and can help you too.

Stop complaints about your problems. Face them and crack them.

Good luck and Godspeed.


Sai Surya, SCJP 5.0, SCWCD 5.0, IBM 833 834
http://sai-surya-talk.blogspot.com, I believe in Murphy's law.
Jan de Boer
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 10, 2010
Posts: 374
    
    1
Arun Giridhar wrote: Got Fed Up this is my 2nd Company in a year


So you have found a new job twice this year? Look at it positively! That is brilliant. I could not get two companies to hire me in a year. :-)

Anyway, managers kinda always say we programmers have an attitude problem. They come from Venus, we come from Mars. We are a different species. They don't like us, we don't like them. Do not worry so much! I have an attitude problem too. I bet half coderanch has an attitude problem.
chris webster
Bartender

Joined: Mar 01, 2009
Posts: 1701
    
  14

Jan de Boer wrote:I have an attitude problem too. I bet half coderanch has an attitude problem.

So, should we hire you?
Jan de Boer
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 10, 2010
Posts: 374
    
    1
chris webster wrote:
Jan de Boer wrote:I have an attitude problem too. I bet half coderanch has an attitude problem.

So, should we hire you?


LOL!!

Well, I can brilliant too sometimes you know.
Tim McGuire
Ranch Hand

Joined: Apr 30, 2003
Posts: 820

Arun Giridhar wrote:I have no friends in my life (live alone), the only friend i have is javaranch (aka ranchers) and i don't know many things ..... I was developing Technical skills (Many people were much better then me technically).


It is positive that you are reaching out to us and people have expressed their heartfelt opinions. I advise you to do what they say: Go see a doctor. Here in the states, if you told a doctor what you are telling us, he or she would give you anti-depressants that will make you feel better in two weeks (almost required via the law of defensive medicine).

the disclaimer: I have no qualifications to make such a judgement and we certainly over-prescribe these medicines, BUT STILL, do you live in a place where you can get access to a doctor and / or this medicine? This might be the lift you need out of the hole and walking forward again.
William P O'Sullivan
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 28, 2012
Posts: 859

I agree with everyone here, including the medical "advise" [disclaimer, I'm a coder, not a doctor, nor did I stay at a Holiday Express last night]

Do you have a hobby? If not, start one.. photography, build model airplanes (great stress reliever), etc..

Reach out in your community. If you play sports, join a pick-up league, always a good way to make new friends (and ladies ;))


Tell us what you think..

WP
Seetharaman Venkatasamy
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 28, 2008
Posts: 5575

William P O'Sullivan wrote:including the medical "advise"

for what? he is ok/good so, he put his thought here my dear friend.

*time will answer
Arun Giridhar
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 10, 2012
Posts: 146

I'm not getting any calls....

Well i took a 1 month but decided , since my family in position i'm going to join any job which i get (even Testing or BPO) . If i really have passion over Java and it's framework and related Technology (i'll get it later).

Thank You
Junilu Lacar
Bartender

Joined: Feb 26, 2001
Posts: 4462
    
    6

Christopher Avery has a wonderful message in "The Leadership Gift". Here's a short clip from his website: http://www.christopheravery.com/blog/leadership-gift-faq-why-dont-people-take-responsibility/

I attended his one-day workshop on this and heard him give a shorter 1-hour version of the material as a keynote in a conference. It was one of the most well-received keynotes in that conference and many people were going up to him afterwards to tell him how much his message resonated with them.

There are basically two ways you can deal with this situation: one way is to treat the things that are happening to you as a burden that is weighing you down. The other way is to see it as a challenge to make some changes in yourself which will allow you to rise above laying blame on others and your situation and open up options that will help you free yourself from these troubles. It's your choice. Learn about the Responsibility Process and taking ownership; awareness of this process will give you a better chance of getting through this.

Junilu - [How to Ask Questions] [How to Answer Questions]
Jan de Boer
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 10, 2010
Posts: 374
    
    1
Junilu Lacar wrote:The other way is to see it as a challenge


I did not see the whole presentation, but this sounds like an awful cliche to me. I see it as neither of the two. It are just problems to be solved to get the job done. And the job must be done to pay the rent. Then my boss and the client is happy again, and I go home happily and forget about 'leadership thingies'.
Junilu Lacar
Bartender

Joined: Feb 26, 2001
Posts: 4462
    
    6

Jan de Boer wrote:I did not see the whole presentation, but this sounds like an awful cliche to me.
There may have been a point in my career when I was just as cynical but then at some point, I decided that there had to more to it than just doing a job, then going home and forgetting about it. It may be a cliche to you and you're entitled to your view but it's as relevant to me as God and Country.
Arun Giridhar
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 10, 2012
Posts: 146

Yes Junilu Lacar was right !

Thank You
Jan de Boer
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 10, 2010
Posts: 374
    
    1
Junilu Lacar wrote:there had to more to it than just doing a job, then going home and forgetting about it.


No it's not that black and white. You can also work very hard and efficient during work hours, but still forget about it when you go home, and do other, even more, important things. I can work hard and good, even when I got in mind it's not the most important thing in life, cannot I? I just can go without all that stupid 'go for it' propaganda.
chris webster
Bartender

Joined: Mar 01, 2009
Posts: 1701
    
  14

Jan de Boer wrote:You can also work very hard and efficient during work hours, but still forget about it when you go home, and do other, even more, important things. I can work hard and good, even when I got in mind it's not the most important thing in life, cannot I? I just can go without all that stupid 'go for it' propaganda.

I used to work in Germany, where the general attitude was that you should work hard while you were at work, then do something else when you were not at work. And if you found yourself working longer hours than normal for long periods (i.e. not just in a short sprint to meet a deadline), then the usual view was that your manager was not managing you properly as a resource. When I was there, the Germans had short standard working hours and long holidays, and yet their productivity was still among the highest in the world. You can work hard and responsibly without killing yourself or letting your life be dominated by your work.
Jan de Boer
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 10, 2010
Posts: 374
    
    1
chris webster wrote:I used to work in Germany, where the general attitude was that you should work hard while you were at work, then do something else when you were not at work. .


It's of course no surprise that I totally agree with this attitude. I am Dutch, but we are more close to the Germans then we think. Or want to be, especially when we loose football matches from them.
Junilu Lacar
Bartender

Joined: Feb 26, 2001
Posts: 4462
    
    6

I don't disagree with working hard and having a good work-life balance. In fact, I strongly agree with the 40-hour week rule and not working overtime for more than two consecutive weeks. However, as a practicing martial artist in my spare time, I have found that I can't fully compartmentalize different aspects of "me". Some parts just spill over and influence other parts. When I'm in the dojo, I learn and practice the techniques on a mostly physical level. But when I'm outside the dojo, the principles and values I learned from the techniques affect the way I live my life. Similarly, when I took the Agile Coaching course, it had a profound impact on the way I approached the relationship I have with my kids, my wife, and my friends. And when I went for Chris Avery's workshop on Leadership and Responsibility, it impacted the way I approached the things I do outside of work as well. To each his own; different strokes for different folks.
Junilu Lacar
Bartender

Joined: Feb 26, 2001
Posts: 4462
    
    6

Jan de Boer wrote:I just can go without all that stupid 'go for it' propaganda.

My point is that to some, it's not just stupid "go for it" propaganda; these things actually resonate deeply with many people and for you to dismiss it as "stupid" just because you have a different way of living your life is narrow-minded at best.
 
It is sorta covered in the JavaRanch Style Guide.
 
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