I feel shy in front of girls.. I can't talk to them properly.. I stammer with my replies , I stutter .. I can't make eye-contact with them..and usually I avoid the company of girls. The day after tomorrow , I have to give a presentation on some topic and girls will be there, too. I see many boys can easily talk to girls without any hesitations but I cant.
Most of the programming problems can't be solved because you don't know what the exact problem is.
Defining your problem correctly leads you to the right solution.
Giving a presentation is different from having a one-to-one conversation, isn't it? I completely understand the problem with talking to a particular person, but when you're giving the presentation can't you just look in the general direction of the audience without making eye contact with anybody?
And yes, I know this doesn't cover the part where people might ask questions after you're finished.
You sound like you would be a good candidate for a club called Toastmasters. In Toastmasters, you practice giving presentations. That way when you do it outside of Toastmasters, it does not seem like a big deal. More reliable method than alcohol. I have tried both.
Dave Trower wrote:You sound like you would be a good candidate for a club called Toastmasters.
I second Toastmasters. Practice makes perfect.
Believe it or not, females enjoy pleasant social interaction just like everyone else. You can work on your anxiety by getting more experience. Start small (say "hello" to co-workers), and build slowly (say "nice weather" to shopkeeper). You are probably over thinking things ("does she like me, does she hate me, do i have something in my nose, will she talk to her friend when I leave"). Try to clear your mind and focus on the conversation instead of imagined consequences.
Me? I like the booze.
I feel your pain. My wife is at least that shy. We'd been serving this one church for 15 years, when the phone rings during worship. Wife answered the phone, and had to deliver a message to a woman in the choir. Remembr, we'd been there 15 years, we knew everyone there, she was friends with mos of the women. So, she walks up the side aisle, delivers the message, begins to walk back. Less than halfway, she runs to the ladies room and vomits.
I, on the other hand, have no problem talking to anyone anywhere anytime. But I will offer som small advice that will most likely prove to be difficult to follow.
Fist, Finding a group like toastmasters is a good suggestion. It sounds to me as if you are still in school or at university. In the states, universities offer classes that provide similar opportunities. In my locale they are referred to as oral communications. I would start my search there. Your advisor should be able to you started. The advantage to this is you will be with peers, other students and people you know. This would likely ease some of the pressure.
Secondly, stop thinking of them as girls. Sounds like a stupid statement. Humankind, for some reason that remains a mystery, is driven to put everything into categories. We refer to the first black doctor, or the first woman judge, etc. We, as in humans as a whole, do not see them as doctor, or judge. They must be forced into some category. But if you can look beyond the category, male, female, Indian, Pakistani, American, and so forth, the there is no reason to fear. They become "just people" like me.
Anyway, best of luck in all your endeavors.
There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them. Ray Bradbury