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How not to feel shy in front of girls ?

Bobby Sharma
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Joined: Mar 18, 2008
Posts: 574
    
    1

I feel shy in front of girls.. I can't talk to them properly.. I stammer with my replies , I stutter .. I can't make eye-contact with them..and usually I avoid the company of girls. The day after tomorrow , I have to give a presentation on some topic and girls will be there, too. I see many boys can easily talk to girls without any hesitations but I cant.


Back to Java , again.
Jayesh A Lalwani
Bartender

Joined: Jan 17, 2008
Posts: 2374
    
  28

Drink alcohol
Bobby Sharma
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 18, 2008
Posts: 574
    
    1

haha , Girls don't like people who drink alcohol.. This may create more problems. :P
Jayesh A Lalwani
Bartender

Joined: Jan 17, 2008
Posts: 2374
    
  28

Worked for this guy
Bobby Sharma
Ranch Hand

Joined: Mar 18, 2008
Posts: 574
    
    1

hahaha. Big Bang Theory
Paul Clapham
Bartender

Joined: Oct 14, 2005
Posts: 18570
    
    8

Giving a presentation is different from having a one-to-one conversation, isn't it? I completely understand the problem with talking to a particular person, but when you're giving the presentation can't you just look in the general direction of the audience without making eye contact with anybody?

And yes, I know this doesn't cover the part where people might ask questions after you're finished.
Dave Trower
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Joined: Feb 12, 2003
Posts: 86
You sound like you would be a good candidate for a club called Toastmasters. In Toastmasters, you practice giving presentations. That way when you do it outside of Toastmasters, it does not seem like a big deal. More reliable method than alcohol. I have tried both.
Joe Ess
Bartender

Joined: Oct 29, 2001
Posts: 8903
    
    8

Dave Trower wrote:You sound like you would be a good candidate for a club called Toastmasters.


I second Toastmasters. Practice makes perfect.
Believe it or not, females enjoy pleasant social interaction just like everyone else. You can work on your anxiety by getting more experience. Start small (say "hello" to co-workers), and build slowly (say "nice weather" to shopkeeper). You are probably over thinking things ("does she like me, does she hate me, do i have something in my nose, will she talk to her friend when I leave"). Try to clear your mind and focus on the conversation instead of imagined consequences.
Me? I like the booze.


"blabbing like a narcissistic fool with a superiority complex" ~ N.A.
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Robert D. Smith
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Joined: Oct 04, 2013
Posts: 143
    
    5
I feel your pain. My wife is at least that shy. We'd been serving this one church for 15 years, when the phone rings during worship. Wife answered the phone, and had to deliver a message to a woman in the choir. Remembr, we'd been there 15 years, we knew everyone there, she was friends with mos of the women. So, she walks up the side aisle, delivers the message, begins to walk back. Less than halfway, she runs to the ladies room and vomits.

I, on the other hand, have no problem talking to anyone anywhere anytime. But I will offer som small advice that will most likely prove to be difficult to follow.

Fist, Finding a group like toastmasters is a good suggestion. It sounds to me as if you are still in school or at university. In the states, universities offer classes that provide similar opportunities. In my locale they are referred to as oral communications. I would start my search there. Your advisor should be able to you started. The advantage to this is you will be with peers, other students and people you know. This would likely ease some of the pressure.

Secondly, stop thinking of them as girls. Sounds like a stupid statement. Humankind, for some reason that remains a mystery, is driven to put everything into categories. We refer to the first black doctor, or the first woman judge, etc. We, as in humans as a whole, do not see them as doctor, or judge. They must be forced into some category. But if you can look beyond the category, male, female, Indian, Pakistani, American, and so forth, the there is no reason to fear. They become "just people" like me.

Anyway, best of luck in all your endeavors.

Regards,
Robert


There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them. Ray Bradbury
Bobby Sharma
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Joined: Mar 18, 2008
Posts: 574
    
    1

thanks all for your invaluable advices.
Jeanne Boyarsky
internet detective
Marshal

Joined: May 26, 2003
Posts: 30512
    
150

Bobby,
Are you over 18? (Toastmasters requires you to be an adult to join)


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Sumit Bisht
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Joined: Jul 02, 2008
Posts: 329

All the best for your presentation Bobby, just remind yourself - it is not the end of the world if you make some mistakes; as we all do.
Robert D. Smith
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Joined: Oct 04, 2013
Posts: 143
    
    5
Sumit Bisht wrote:All the best for your presentation Bobby, just remind yourself - it is not the end of the world if you make some mistakes; as we all do.

As my father liked to say, "I thought I was wrong once, but then i discovered i was mistaken."
 
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subject: How not to feel shy in front of girls ?